Try Mort Fertel’s “Talk and Touch” list to reconnect with your mate.
It’s not uncommon for couples to complain about a decline in intimacy over time. In fact, when a relationship feels stale, it’s often due in part to less emotional closeness.
As human beings, we crave regular contact with others. But it’s not just about sex and physical interactions. There are all sorts of ways to support your partner, express your love, and restore the bond. I like to call it the “Talk and Touch” list.
Read on for 30 ways to improve your relationship and rekindle intimacy.
- Learn a new joke today and share it with your spouse
- Express confidence in one of your spouse’s decisions
- Surprise your spouse with a visit at their office or home, give them a kiss… and then leave.
- Play footsie next time you sit together
- Ask how your spouse’s day went… and really listen
- Kiss your spouse upon waking and kiss your spouse before sleeping
- Caress your spouse’s hand
- Touch your spouse’s cheek or hand while driving
- Sit on your spouse’s lap or sit them on yours
- Compliment something your spouse is wearing
- Call your spouse out of the blue to let them know you are thinking of them
- Give your spouse a neck or shoulder massage
- Share a story from the news or your day that you thought was interesting
- Try dancing before dinner. No one’s looking.
- Tell your spouse that if you had to do it all over again, you’d choose them
- Play with your spouse’s hair while talking in bed
- Say “I’m sorry” about a mistake you recently made
- Think of 3 ways your spouse has made you a better person … tell them now
- Compliment your spouse on your favorite physical trait
- Share what you most admire about your spouse
- Have a “remember when?” moment
- Dig out the wedding album and reminisce
- Brush your mate’s hair out of his/her eyes
- Straighten his tie, or zip up her dress – being sure to touch with love
- Kiss in the elevator when no one is looking
- Listen to your spouse’s worries – ask how you can help
- Make your spouse’s lunch for the day and deliver it with a kiss
- Kiss the back of your spouse’s neck while he/she is reading
- Before parting, tell your spouse you can’t wait to see him/her again
- “Spoon” your mate while sleeping
This is not an exhaustive list. Every couple has different routines that invite intimacy. Find what works best for you and your partner. The takeaway message here is that you are responsible for the closeness you feel. Though that fluttery butterfly feeling might not be there anymore, you can rejuvenate your love with actions based on caring, compassion, and kindness.