A Man Stops Being a Man When He Does This

The day a man turns on you for being vulnerable with him is the day he stops being a man. He romances you by making you think you have found a friend in him knowing that you have built walls to protect your heart. Then, as you allow intimacy to bridge the gap between you to he gets mad at you and suggests you cut your hair. Why? Because now he sees you as a slut. What changed? He did. You didn’t do anything. You trusted him and he got what he wanted, which was in between your legs.

Be careful with men who treat you with condition. They ask you for respect and to love him unconditionally. However, the moment they find a spec of imperfection in your character (we all are born with flaws) or discrepancy in your family he judges them and threatens to leave you on account of them. What purpose do you serve to please a man? Is your existence simply meant to boost his ego? No, you are a woman meant to be kept and cherished. Not a trophy wife meant to be objectified.

There have been both good and bad experiences in my life with men. I find that all the 3 or 4 men preceding my fiance have all had faults but I have overlooked them despite their flawed characters. A poor man who is rich in advocacy, yet machista in with women he says to chase for intimacy within the boundaries of love and friendship.

A rich man with a tough exterior due to a hard past that I uncovered to understand through prayer was sweet to me yet has rough edges that make me think twice. He is mad at anyone else’s success and treats women as second class. He is crude and judgemental, yet empathetic when you speak to him in down time. He confuses me. Yet, should I feel this way?

I don’t think I owe anything to any man. The man that I choose to mary is because I chose him not because I need him. I have been through a lot in life. Maybe, my toxic trait is not asking for help when I need it. But, I won’t tell you about the sleepless nights I pass tossing and turning with tears on my my pillow. I’d rather shut the mouths of my critics by moving in silence. When I finish all my goals and come out on top taking a trip to my destination with money that I paid for. I will be happy to say that I am a woman. I am stable financially, emotionally, and spiritually. I don’t want to need to depend on a man to take care of me or mock my tears when I cry in silence because my emotions matter. I matter and what I have to say matters. That’s why sometimes it’s better to remain silent because no one knows the battles you fight in silence.

He should love me at my worst and take me at my best.

I’m tired. I don’t need another man to tear me down to boost his own masculine ego. A boy becomes a man when he realizes that his wife is worth more than rubies and treats her like the treasure god placed in his life to help him, respect him, and heal with him — not just to be his arm candy. That’s the type of man I want my boys to be like…

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This post was previously published on medium.com.

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From The Good Men Project on Medium

What Does Being in Love and Loving Someone Really Mean?

My 9-Year-Old Accidentally Explained Why His Mom Divorced Me

The One Thing Men Want More Than Sex

The Internal Struggle Men Battle in Silence

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Photo credit: Sydney Sims on Unsplash