What is orbiting? If you haven’t heard the term, it’s taking the teeny, tiniest insulin syringe and injecting a microgram of hope into a person you do not want. It’s keeping you in their orbit without any intention of having you be a part of their life.
Why? It’s pure insecurity and supreme narcissism. It’s the desire to be desired regardless of the pain you’re causing your victim. And yes, you are being victimized. If the word ‘victim’ makes you feel shameful, please step back and realize in this picture it’s you that has the heart. You should feel encouraged that you have the strength and bravery to feel. I salute you! Too many people these days are afraid to feel and experience all that comes with.
Clean breaks are necessary. I’m just a guy. If you don’t trust me. Trust Diana Ross as she sings about it more eloquently than I could ever put it in her song, “You Keep Me Hanging On.”
Get rid of the old texts that gave you hope and made you think the two of you could have a future together. Remove them entirely. Don’t waste time trying to read between the pixels of the screen’s text. Don’t give your analytical mind a chance to dissect the precise timing of those emotional emotionless emojis, promises, and hangout arrangements that will never be. Those messages may have once been crucial for things to come, but today they are relics from a time long gone. Let it stand. Cast away those SMS messages.
And then delete the ones that really hurt, like the ones where they took too long to respond or the ones where they informed you they weren’t seeking a long-term commitment. Purge your phone of the messages that proved your darkest fears: they never cared. You are now equipped with the necessary knowledge.
Don’t keep re-reading the words that tore your heart apart; that will only make the wounds worse. Wipe out the messages.
Finally, go to their name by scrolling down.
You were this close to sending them a message. Create a declaration stating you that you want to continue being friends despite your current circumstances. Even if you don’t believe it right now, write down that you will overcome this. Put your finger on the “Send” button after carefully piecing together these white lies stuffed with optimism and goodwill. Instead, delete everything and start over until it sticks
Now, DELETE THEIR NUMBER!
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This post was previously published on medium.com.
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White Fragility: Talking to White People About Racism | Escape the “Act Like a Man” Box | The Lack of Gentle Platonic Touch in Men’s Lives is a Killer | What We Talk About When We Talk About Men |
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Photo credit: NASA on Unsplash