I know we have all played the judge in someone’s life or story. We all at some point have proven someone guilty with just our perception about them.
The last time I checked professional judges will never use their perception or even their grudge on someone and find them guilty.
Even though we are not professional judges and maybe we know nothing about the law let alone upholding it we still need not to judge our fellow human beings.
They say do not judge a book by its cover, well they are not wrong because what’s on the pages might change your view or perception about the book.
And I say that you should not judge someone at all but if you think it is necessary then you should consider these five things first.
Get to know their story first
Everybody that you meet be it a stranger or someone that you already know have a story. A story that you probably do not know yet.
It might take you time to get to know this person and therefore it is better to take the first option that I mentioned earlier and avoid judging.
But if you have the time and resources and you want to judge this person then go on and get to know their story. This story might not be what you expect so prepare yourself to be surprised.
Take your time and make sure that you listen to their story and understand it. Once you know the true reason as to why they have the personality that they have, why they have the habits, or behave the way they do.
No one was born the way you see them today be it physically or mentally or even emotionally. So, when you see someone behaving in a certain way do rush your judgment.
Get to know them and their story first you might save a life. People in the world today need love more than they need to be judged and classified in the groups that society has already doomed as not good.
Put yourself in their shoes
Did someone react to a situation in a way that you think is wrong? Did they say bitter words to your face and offend you? So, they decided on something without consulting with you and it made you feel bad BUT do you know why they did what they did? Or you are just going to act judgmental and say that they have bad manners or maybe they don’t care?
Well, don’t. don’t judge that person just yet. Ask yourself this question first, if I was I the same situation as them what would I have done?
Ask yourself that question three times and if your answer is still allowing you to judge the person then go ahead and judge them. But if you find that you would have probably done what they have then you are good to go and hug them.
Tell them that you understand why they did what they did and you probably would have done the same thing if you were in that position
Walk a mile in them
If it wasn’t enough to wear their shoes maybe you felt like they fit you pretty well and you think that they could have done better then you should probably walk that mile in them.
The fact that their shoes fit you perfectly doesn’t necessarily mean that you can walk in them. It is one thing to fit yourself in someone’s shoes and completely another to walk a mile in them.
To walk a mile in someone’s shoes doesn’t mean that you have to live their lives or maybe become someone you are not. Walking a mile in someone’s shoes is just giving you a different perspective and see things from their point of view
I have talked about three things that are based on looking at the other person. They were about giving the other person a chance, a chance to understand them and see things their way.
Now let’s take a look at you and me, we are supposed to be the judges, right? Then without considering the other person be it their guilty or not let’s evaluate our side of the story before judging anyone.
Why are we judging?
One of the most important things to consider when trying to be the person that is seating on that high and mighty chair of judgment is why. Why do you want or feel the urge to judge the person in question and place them at a certain class?
Maybe you feel that it is your right to do so and you want to exercise it. You feel that you must have your opinion (in a judgmental way) on someone’s actions or habits. Sometimes its because that person has pulled a nerve or two within us and it feels like a normal thing to do and name them or put them into a certain category.
Anger is in most cases the main reason for us to judge and draw conclusions. Just because someone angered us, whatever, and however they did it we feel like it gives us a reasonable reason to judge them.
Haven’t we ever been wrong before?
I do believe that no one is perfect, I think that is a common knowledge. But this common knowledge is not always been put to use.
Most times we judge people just because they are wrong (or at least we believe they are). Now they made a mistake, or maybe they have bad habits and you feel like they need to change. You could be right about that and you probably wish the person well but I think you are doing it the wrong way.
People need more love and sympathy more than they need people pointing fingers at them. If you asked yourself this question, and maybe you would realize that you are not that perfect yourself. This could give you a reason to give the person a chance and show mercy instead.
Previously published on medium
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