Why do dads feel guilt because they may view their love of their sons differently then what they do with their daughters?
From Tom Brechlin, in response to A Father-Daughter Story:
Why do dad’s struggle with this? Why do dad’s feel guilt because they may view their love of their sons differently then what they do with their daughters?
I believe in the old saying “a son is a son until he takes a wife but a daughter is a daughter all of her life.” Yes, I love my son and daughter with all my heart and I would lay down my life for both of them. But there is an expectation with my son which mirrors his dad’s life. I am the protector, I am the one who hold it together through crisis after crisis. This in no way negates my feelings of emotional and/or physical pain. But what it does mean is that I will forever place my children’s needs before my own. I see this in my grown son. It’s simply something that’s there.
When it comes to my now grown daughter, who has been married for 8 years now two sons of her own, she is and will forever be my little girl whom I will continue to protect, nurture and love as my little girl. I couldn’t ask for a better son-in-law, a fireman who adores her. But she is the little one that I protected, and watched over for all her life. That will never change.
I will never feel guilt for seeing my daughter differently then my son. My relationship with my son is as strong as it’s ever been but there is clearly a difference between the two.
And who is it that says it’s wrong? Who are the naysayers? And why do they say it’s wrong? I have two loving, stable, strong, intelligent kids whom I am proud of. They are both successful in their own “different” ways. So as they say, “the proof is in the pudding.” I’ve eaten the pudding and it’s GREAT.
Vic, your daughter is blessed to have you as a dad. You’re doing great!
Happy New Year to you and your family.
Photo: Susana Fernandez/Flickr
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