Do You Realize How Important You Are?

I have a friend named Dale who is a retired ear, nose and throat doctor. We meet regularly with several other gentlemen for morning coffee and conversation.

Our discussions cover the gamut from local news, politics, health updates, vacation highlights, and personal stories. I like personal stories most because they often come with wisdom and life lessons.

Such was the case recently when Dale shared a story about his Apple computer. He was having an issue and called the Apple helpline to get assistance. He was connected with a pleasant woman working in an out of state call center.

During the course of their conversation, the woman commented on Dale’s last name, stating, “I had a doctor with the same last name when I was a young girl. He lived in the bay area of Northern California.”

Astonished, Dale told her that he was a retired doctor who used to work in the bay area. The two soon figured out that they knew one another, as doctor and patient.

“Coincidence is God’s way of remaining anonymous.”
-Albert Einstein

Then the woman told Dale something that nearly brought tears to his eyes. She had suffered a difficult, unpredictable childhood, yet her trips to the doctor were welcome experiences. Because Dale had a way with children. He was gentle. He got down to their eye level. He spoke to them directly, not just to their parents.

The woman told Dale that he had been a “stabilizing factor” in her life. Through his simple kindness and tender approach, he put his young patient at ease. He let her know that she mattered. That she was important.

Imagine the odds. After all those years. Dale’s young patient, now an adult, finally gets to thank him for being a stabilizing force in her life. All because of a random phone call to a computer call center.

My wife often says, “We do not live in a coincidental universe.” Things seem to happen for a reason. We don’t always recognize it at the time but make the connection later.

Other times, we may not recognize the connection at all. But that doesn’t mean it didn’t happen for a reason.

The five people you meet in heaven

The author Mitch Albom wrote a poignant book years ago titled “Tuesdays with Morrie.” It was the true account of how Albom reconnected with his college professor, Morrie Schwartz, years later. Schwartz was dying from ALS, and the two began meeting every Tuesday (as they had done in college), to discuss the big questions of life.

The book is full of wisdom, including quotes like: “Death ends a life, not a relationship.” Further, the book illustrates how important relationships, and people, are to one another.

Morrie Schwartz may have been a mentor to Mitch Albom, both in college and later in life, but Mitch was equally important to Morrie. Through his bedside visits, and in writing his book, Mitch celebrated Morrie’s life and contributions.

Mitch Albom wrote a fictional book years later titled “The Five People You Meet in Heaven.” In the story, a man named Eddie dies while trying to save a little girl from an accident. Eddie later finds himself in heaven, where he encounters people from his past.

The book was made into a movie.

A reviewer on Amazon noted:

“The premise of the book is that when you die, you meet five people. They are not always the five most important people in your life (parents, grandparents, spouses, children, etc), but sometimes people who you met in passing or who you’d rather forget. Sometimes it’s someone you don’t really even know. But they’re always someone who has had an important impact on your life.”

One of the lessons that Eddie learns in the story is that there are no random events in life. All people and experiences are connected in some way. Some of the other big take-aways from the book include:

Everything happens for a reason

Sacrifices are a part of life

The importance of releasing anger and granting forgiveness

The power of love, even after death

There’s always a purpose for your life

Some things feel too meaningful

People of faith will point to God’s hands in all of this, and tell you that He has a plan for each and every one of us. Agnostics will shrug and say that maybe there’s some celestial design going on. Something that results in “fate.” Others will point to entropy in the universe and argue that it’s all random coincidence, not fate.

Still.

Some things feel too meaningful, deep and purposeful to be random coincidence. Like my friend Dale randomly reconnecting with an old patient, and learning he was a stabilizing factor in his patient’s life. Or the author Mitch Albom, randomly deciding to look up his old (dying) college professor, in just enough time to reconnect and write a best-selling book about their interactions.

I remember being in a children’s park with my infant son many years ago. My father had fallen into the fog of dementia and was quite ill. That day in the park, out of the blue, I felt an intense urge to go visit my Dad. I had just seen him a few days ago, but something told me to immediately go see him.

I packed up my son and drove over the Santa Cruz mountains to the dementia care center in Los Gatos. When I arrived, I found out that my father had slipped into a coma. I sat with him, holding his hands, and sliding ice chips across his dry lips. I reminisced about all our family exploits. I assured him that everyone was fine. That if he was tired, to go ahead and rest.

I received word two hours after leaving that my father had passed away.

Swim with it, and you’ll survive

I don’t know if fate exists or not, but my heart tells me that something must be going on. Sometimes the hands of fate smile upon me, and other times things don’t seem to go my way. But even then, the negative experiences shape me. The rough edges of life burnish my character and deepen my wisdom. Good or bad, I’ve learned to just roll with fate.

“Fate is never fair. You are caught in a current much stronger than you are; struggle against it and you’ll drown not just yourself but those who try to save you. Swim with it, and you’ll survive” ― Cassandra Clare, City of Ashes

Whether fate exists or not, perhaps the most important lesson is this:

You are important

Each one of us has our own little universe. It’s made up of our family, friends, work, and passions. We often forget how very important we

In the book “The Five People You Meet in Heaven,” the main character Eddie is a custodian at an amusement park. He feels like a failure and that his life is unimportant. He cannot see how the maintenance he provides for the rides insures the health and safety of so many children and families who enjoy the amusement park.

What about you? Have you thought about the ways your work benefits others? Or about the love and support you provide for your family and friends?

Today’s culture and social media focus on fame and fortunes, but we’re already famous in our own little universes. We’re already enriched by our families, friends, and passions. And sometimes we extend our reach beyond family and friends, to help others.

Why do we have such a hard time recognizing our own importance? In the end, the most powerful thing in the universe is love. Love for family, friends, our passions and even ourselves.

“Accept the things to which fate binds you, and love the people with whom fate brings you together, but do so with all your heart.” ― Marcus Aurelius, Meditations

You get to decide what to think of the coincidental things that happen in your life. Maybe there’s a grand design to fate. A purpose. Maybe not. Either way, just remember how important you are. Even beyond your own little universe of family, friends, work, and passions.

Remember my friend Dale, whose kindness for his young patients made a real difference in their lives. Or Morrie Schwartz, who despite the destruction of his body from ALS, still managed to impart some wisdom into his old student, Mitch Albom.

You are important, in more ways than you realize.