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As an X-Ray technologist, I’m part of the process of making a diagnosis of the body. People present to doctors with certain symptoms and are sent to me to help determine the etiology of those symptoms. It’s a very linear process. Certain symptoms call for certain tests. The results of these tests lead to certain treatments. For the most part, the human body is a fairly predictable machine.
The mind, however, is not. Finding the motivations behind action and the thought process that goes into decision making has always been much more interesting to me.
What I don’t find interesting are excuses. Motivation is what makes a person choose a certain action. Excuses are how bad decisions are defended.
As parents, a majority of our job description is behavior modification. We have an idea of how we want our children to act and a hope for what decisions they will make. We try our best to instill in them values, common sense, and a knowledge of repercussions.
Along the way, we are subject to a lot of excuses.
I understand that there are lots of people who choose to “co-sleep” with their children and if that works for them, that’s great. My wife grinds her teeth and there have been accusations that I snore. I’m also at the age where I get up to pee about four times a night. The last thing that our sleep patterns need is to add a child to the mix.
The munchkin finds it absolutely unfair that we “get” to sleep in the same bed together and after a few sick nights with us has decided that this is no longer acceptable.
Her excuses for attempting to infiltrate our bed have been varied. She’s afraid she will pee the bed in her room. She’s having bad dreams. Last night she tried to tell me that she was sleepwalking. These are much cuter at 9 AM than at 4 and she’s been encouraged to simply tell the truth. The fact is that she wants to sleep with us and doesn’t understand why she can’t. Honesty leads to a discussion that will probably do no good whatsoever but hopefully will lead to more open dialogue in the future.
The teenager is very good at making excuses. Without going into detail, she recently pulled a stunt that left her mother and I very hurt and very angry. Her list of excuses could fill a small notebook, but the one thing they all had in common was being total BS. She did what she wanted to do because she wanted to do it. There was no thought to the effects of her actions on others. I can’t recall ever being so disappointed.
Rioters blame their actions on “injustice”. Cheaters say they aren’t getting enough attention at home. Three hundred pound football players beat their wives and girlfriends senseless, then say they were “protecting themselves.” Everybody has an excuse.
Humans are selfish creatures. We’ve all done things for no justifiable reason. Why is it so hard to just step up and own it?
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This post was previously published on www.thirstydaddy.com and is republished here with permission from the author.
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Photo credit: Istockphoto.com