When I drink, I’m not talking drunk; I’m talking 2 or 3 beers bat crap crazy things start to happen in my head. Why? I cannot tell you, but the TLC song Unpretty burst into my mind for some reason.
That’s a lie. I know the stimulus. There is a website that is sort of the business equivalent of hot or not. I’ve been using it for business reasons. But it made me think about the website Hot or Not.
So many of us, men and women, use this site to help us pick the perfect pictures for our online dating profiles. I’m off of online dating now. Thank God! When I did it, it was such a straight-up ego kick in the nuts so hard my balls literally flew up my spine and were rattling around my brain like Yahtzee dice.
I’m done with it. I am who I am; it took me 42 years, but I am secure with who I am now. I don’t need your validation or blah blah blah whatever.
I’m an animal lover…HUGE animal lover. I volunteer at the local animal rescue. If I post a bunch of pictures of me with cats, it means I love animals. It also means if you think guys are supposed to love dogs and women are supposed to love all animals, babies, and anything small and cute, you don’t get me…you don’t get anybody. I don’t need you.
I love board games and have a great group of friends I meet up with to have fun playing games every other Friday. Sometimes I wear a Star Wars shirt or an old Nintendo shirt. If that’s a problem, then you are my problem. I don’t need any more problems. The natural course of life presents me with enough. I don’t need to invite any new ones into my life.
I’m going to SUM this up short and sweet style, going back to the TLC song that inspired this writing. I will never put you in that position. I won’t buy my hair if it won’t grow, and I won’t fix my nose if you say so. I will never let you make me feel so dame UNPREETY.
I AM HAPPY BEING UNPRETTY!
My outsides look cool
My insides are blue
I Feel Unpretty Too
Yes, ladies, a guy can feel so damn unhandsome too!
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This post was previously published on medium.com.
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Photo credit: Quentin billington on Unsplash