This episode is for anyone who wants to communicate more effectively, stay connected during conflict, and build a relationship that can weather hard moments with greater compassion and clarity.
How Not to Get Divorced: A Divorce Coach’s Keys to Stay in Love Longer: Show Notes
It makes sense that the people who understand why relationships end, are also the ones who can teach us how to stay connected, and avoid breakups and divorce.
On today’s Practicing Love podcast, I talk with Rachael Sloane, a divorce coach and NLP practitioner who works primarily with men navigating separation and divorce. She is the creator of the Better Beyond Divorce course, which supports men to develop emotional regulation, communication skills, and a healthier relationship with themselves — skills many were never taught, but desperately needed in partnership, and beyond.
Rather than focusing on Rachael’s specialty of how to navigate divorce, we explored what causes relationships to unravel, and thus what helps them stay intact.
We talked about:
- Why emotional regulation is the foundation of healthy communication
- How conflict escalates when we’re in fight-or-flight (and why it’s like being emotionally drunk)
- The difference between your healthy self, wounded self, and survival self — and how to speak to your partner’s healthy self even when s/he is activated
- Why curiosity works better than fixing
- How unconscious childhood patterns sneak into adult relationships
- What boundaries really are (and why they’re not rules for your partner)
- And how separating positive intention from destructive strategies can change everything
One of the most powerful insights Rachael shared is this:
Most couples don’t struggle because of a lack of love. They struggle because they don’t know how to regulate themselves, and stay connected, when love feels threatened.
If you’re in a relationship, longing for one, healing from one, or wanting to do things differently than what you’ve seen modeled… this episode is for you.
My hope is that this conversation offers you compassion, clarity, and practical tools, especially for the moments when connection feels hardest.
Links:
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Connect with Rachael
Bio:
Rachael Sloan is a certified life coach and Master NLP Practitioner specializing in helping men navigate the emotional aftermath of unwanted divorce. She teaches practical tools for nervous system regulation, attachment healing, and emotional resilience — helping men move from survival mode into calm, grounded self-leadership. Rachael is the founder of the Better Beyond Divorce program, a space where men learn how to heal, rebuild confidence, and trust themselves again.
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Previously Published on Shana James Coaching
