—
This is a sad post and probably should have a content warning at the top since it’s about the death of children.
I wanted to follow up on the law in New York and what it was meant to protect. 99% of all abortions in the United States are done before the 21st week. It was sooner than that, but the various laws nationwide making abortion providers hard to find has added a couple of weeks. But most of those are much earlier, regardless.
The thing to remember about a late-term abortion is that, invariably, this is a woman and her family and their medical team making a painful, difficult, horrific decision concerning a child that was very much wanted.
Over and over again, this is the story you will hear about late-term abortions. Children gestating with tumors that seemed manageable in the first ultrasound but are now choking them to death, Babies developing with no brain and no hope to ever wake up, a child nearing term with conditions that erupt leaving them unable to function outside the womb or unable to live without excruciating pain. even fast moving degenerative nerve and muscle conditions that will shorten a child’s life to days or weeks and can’t be cured or treated.
Sometimes parents have to make the call to reduce a twin or triplet whose condition is so dire it is putting the health of the mother and their siblings at risk.
This is not an easy choice, ever. It’s not made better by the invasion of the law into the medical space where women and their doctors and family have to try to minimize pain and distress all around.
Before people freak out about late-term abortion, please do some searches and read up on what it is—what it really is—not what the most skeptical might imagine a bunch of nonsensically heartless people might be doing.
—
A version of this post was previously published on the author’s Facebook timeline and is republished here with his permission.
◊♦◊
The Planned Parenthood following video is related.
.
.
At 18 weeks, April and her husband found out that their baby had lethal skeletal dysplasia. He would never be able to breathe on his own. If she carried the pregnancy to term and he was born alive, he would die shortly after of suffocation. April hoped the news wasn’t true, so she requested more tests to confirm the diagnosis, which took two weeks. At 21 weeks, she had an abortion. April shares her story because she has found that it can change opinions. Several people she knows personally who previously had been anti-abortion told her that they would have done the same thing she did.
SCRIPT:
My husband and I just celebrated our 7th wedding anniversary and people still tell us that we act like newlyweds. And so for me, having a child with him just felt like it would be an extension of how we felt about each other.
I really thought that it would happen quickly and easily, but after a year and a half, it was clear that we were going to need help, and so I visited a fertility doctor. By the 8th try, I was really convinced that I was gonna get another negative on the pregnancy test, and I got a phone call from the nurse at the fertility clinic and she said, “I have some news for you.” And I expected that she was gonna say no again. And she said, “you’re pregnant.”
I found at 12 weeks that I was expecting a boy and that he had tested negative for the most common birth defects. We did the 18-week anatomy scan at a specialist’s office. The doctor told us that our baby had a skeletal dysplasia, which meant that his chest was very narrow and his rib cage was very narrow, and so narrow that his lungs wouldn’t be able to develop. And because his lungs wouldn’t be able to develop properly, he would never be able to breathe on his own.
If I carried the pregnancy to term without any medical intervention, he would suffocate probably within a few minutes. With extreme medical intervention, including a ventilator and a feeding tube, he might live several days. We had the second anatomy scan two weeks later, when I was 20 weeks pregnant, and unfortunately, they confirmed the diagnosis of lethal skeletal dysplasia. Even though I’ve identified as pro-choice, I never thought that I would have an abortion. I had certain negative stereotypes around people who did and so I think it’s important for us to share our stories because we understand the nuances that go into that decision making. If I had been forced to carry my pregnancy to term, my life would be very different right now. I can’t imagine having given birth and watching my son suffer. I can’t imagine holding him and watching him take his last breath, and knowing that that would be painful for him.
I also can’t imagine a world without my daughter. She is absolutely beautiful and she is sunshine and is probably the best thing that’s ever happened in my life after meeting my husband. I want my daughter to live in a world in which she can make her own reproductive choices. Whether that’s about access to birth control, morning-after pills, abortion or even just the ability to see a gynecologist on a regular basis and keep tabs on her own sexual health. Having charge of your own reproductive health means that you can control your destiny and that’s so important for me. I want her to grow up knowing that the sky is the limit.
—
Join the #StopSexism FACEBOOK GROUP here.
***
What’s Next? Talk with others. Take action.
We are proud of our SOCIAL INTEREST GROUPS—WEEKLY PHONE CALLS to discuss, gain insights, build communities— and help solve some of the most difficult challenges the world has today. Calls are for Members Only (although you can join the first call for free). Not yet a member of The Good Men Project? Join below!
RSVP for Intersectionality Calls
—
Join the Conscious Intersectionality FACEBOOK GROUP here. Includes our new call series on Human Rights.
Join The Good Men Project Community
All levels get to view The Good Men Project site AD-FREE. The $50 Platinum Level is an ALL-ACCESS PASS—join as many groups and classes as you want for the entire year. The $25 Gold Level gives you access to any ONE Social Interest Group and ONE Class–and other benefits listed below the form. Or…for $12, join as a Bronze Member and support our mission, and have a great ad-free viewing experience.
Register New Account
Please note: If you are already a writer/contributor at The Good Men Project, log in here before registering. (Request new password if needed).
◊♦◊
ANNUAL PLATINUM membership ($50 per year) includes:
1. AN ALL ACCESS PASS — Join ANY and ALL of our weekly calls, Social Interest Groups, classes, workshops and private Facebook groups. We have at least one group phone call or online class every day of the week.
2. See the website with no ads when logged in!
3. MEMBER commenting badge.
***
ANNUAL GOLD membership ($25 per year) includes all the benefits above — but only ONE Weekly Social Interest Group and ONE class.
***
ANNUAL BRONZE membership ($12 per year) is great if you are not ready to join the full conversation but want to support our mission anyway. You’ll still get a BRONZE commenting badge, and you can pop into any of our weekly Friday Calls with the Publisher when you have time. This is for people who believe—like we do—that this conversation about men and changing roles and goodness in the 21st century is one of the most important conversations you can have today.
♦◊♦
We have pioneered the largest worldwide conversation about what it means to be a good man in the 21st century. Your support of our work is inspiring and invaluable.
—
Photo credit: Shutterstock