Question: I need my space from my girlfriend! When I bring it up she starts crying because she thinks I’m ending it. I’m not ending it. I just can’t breathe! Saying this just makes her defensive. What gives?
Answer: My goodness how disconcerting for you that every time you bring it up she starts crying thinking that you are ending it! It must feel like you’re walking on a land mine unable to speak your truth but not wanting to hurt her also! I suppose it’s possible that you have absolutely no finesse, tact or graciousness in your communication… but I doubt that 😉
I wonder if something has happened to her in the past where she was abandoned or left in a very traumatic way that makes her overly sensitive to the point of defensiveness. This would mean it’s not personal at all and you could approach her with great compassion and certainty.
Great love, Allana xoxo
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