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In our country, “success” is a relative term. The kind of car you drive, the square footage of your house, even how straight and white your teeth are—those could all be considered determiners of success in America.
That’s why we sit at our desks for nine hours a day, five days a week. That’s why we take out loans, even if the interest rates suck. That’s why we surf Amazon late into the night, searching for the next gadget or sparkly blouse or set of golf clubs that will finally—finally—make us happy.
And sadly, that’s why we cheat.
My whole life has been a series of competitions. I’m willing to bet, if you were to think about it, yours has too. We compete for grades in school. We compete on fields and courts, Homecoming Kings and Queens, college applications, jobs…the list goes on. And if you want to win, you’ll have to come face to face with your morality.
The scenarios are different. Sometimes it’s money. Sometimes it’s a question of loyalty or love, but the two main ingredients remain—are you a good guy or a bad guy (or girl)?
Do you make the noble decision, even though it won’t provide you with immediate gratification? In fact, turning down your boss’s offer to “just let this one slide,” might end up costing you your job. And in turn, “letting it slide” might get you the promotion. Cue the square footage. The red convertible with the leather interior. The goods.
But does it always work out? In the long run?
In past columns, I’ve cited former Razorback football coach, Bobby Petrino, as evidence of a man somehow escaping the hand of God—cosmic Karma—whatever you want to call the rules that govern our world. The dude just keeps on being a mean, nasty, little red-faced sucker. And he keeps getting away with it.
Sure, that press conference with the neck brace and facial abrasions was embarrassing. But it was also short-lived. Fast forward a few years, Louisville opens their arms, and little Bobby gets his wings.
Maybe that’s the key. Maybe in order to really make it, you just have to go whole-hog one way or the other. Go full Bobby. No regrets. No scruples. No morals. Win at all costs, and leave only a trail of destruction in your wake.
Or go the other way: have the virtue of Gandhi, the reserve of those fierce Tibetan monks outside of Nepal, the ones who keep setting themselves on fire in protests against China. (If you don’t know about this or the term “self-immolation,” Google it, and brace yourself.)
You know I can’t write this without bringing up Politics, with a capital P. And I won’t even say his name—I’m sick of saying his name, and hearing it—but he’s a great example of “going full Bobby.” We all know “He Who Shall Not Be Named” is anything but nice.
Ruthless? Yes.
Tactless? Yes.
Effective? Yes, yes, and yes.
Which leads me back to my original questions: Do nice guys finish last?
I’d like to believe that’s not what our country—our sports, our occupations—have come to. I’d like to believe there are wholesome people out there in positions of power. That when you turn the other cheek, make selfless decisions, stick to a moral code—people take notice. Good begets more good, and all that jazz.
I want to believe it.
In a perfect world, it’s good to be the “good” guy. Good guys sleep well at night. They might not be rich, but they get a solid eight hours. In a perfect world, it’s always best to do the right thing.
Sadly, the world in which we live is far, far from perfect.
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Photo credit: Enrique Fernandez on Unsplash