—
Of all the things that a man can do, nothing is more useful or powerful than arming yourself with a sense of proactive gratitude. Proactive gratitude as a philosophy, an ethos, a way of looking at the world, will make you a better husband, father, friend; hell, a better human being.
Here and now, wherever you are in your life and whatever you have had to go through to get here, be appreciative of the fact that you are simply here. If you are reading this, you are alive and for that, you should be grateful.
Gratitude has a way of creating a clarity that allows the self-inflicted wounds of bitterness and negativity to be vanquished while gaining control over impulses and behaviors that hinder our growth as men. It may not be the sexiest solution on the block, but it will change our lives, and our world.
In this patriarchal society that we have built, we are in the privileged position of being the agents of change that deconstruct the institutions we have benefitted from, and we should feel a sense of obligation to do just that. The time has never been more crucial to commit to breaking down the strongholds of sexism, misogyny, and racism than right now. We have an opportunity to create a world that’s better than the world our fathers, our grandfathers, or great-grandfathers lived in.
We have an opportunity, as 21st-century men, to redefine masculinity; one which is better than the one we grew up with, the one fraught with undeniable and crippling toxicity and for that, I am thankful.
For anyone who’s been paying attention, there is a war going on right now for the soul of America. The decisions and action that we make as individual citizens over the coming days, weeks, months, and years will likely determine the quality of life for the rest of our lives and the lives of our children and grandchildren. Exercising proactive gratitude means aligning ourselves with the forces of truth and goodness—the two things that are going to save us a country.
We have an opportunity to correct the wrongs of the past and help create a new world for the people and principles we profess to love. A world in which our wives truly feel like equal partners with us. A world in which our sons grow up respecting the females they encounter in their lives as equal human beings. A world in which our daughters feel and, in fact, truly are free to be whoever they want to be.
Proactive gratitude steps up while supporting and speaking out for diversity; equality for all of our fellow citizens; equal access to affordable health care; equal rights for women; and support for movements like Black Lives Matter, Me Too and Time’s Up—not only because it is essential for our survival, but because it is the right thing to do.
By being proactive and appreciative we, as men, can attack our sense of entitlement head on and become able to leverage it for the greater good and for positive change in our society.
The impact we can have if we express this kind of gratitude in the daily grind of our lives is incalculable.
It is the single greatest lesson we can teach our children and the penultimate legacy that we can leave behind, so my brothers—let’s get to it.
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