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When people ask me, “What’s the biggest surprise about parenting?” I smile and say: It’s realizing who’s really doing the teaching. Because here’s the fun part — I’m not just raising my son. He’s raising parts of me I didn’t even know needed waking up.
At home, we never sat down to make a grand declaration like, “From this day forward, there shall be no gender roles!” We just… lived. We worked. We cooked. We tag-teamed. And when tag-teaming failed? Well, there was always takeaway biryani.
So when my son came home one day and asked, “Mom, why did my friend say the kitchen is only for girls?” I nearly snorted my tea. Later, when he asked for a toy kitchen set, a few well-meaning elders gently suggested, “Maybe get him a car or blocks instead… you know, boy toys.” Without missing a beat, he beamed and said, “But who will cook for my customers when I open my restaurant?”
And just like that, my mind floated back to a family gathering years ago — I remembered quietly carrying trays of snacks from the kitchen while the boys hung out in the living room, feet up, happily chatting. At the time, it didn’t strike me as strange. It was just how things were.
Fast forward to today. When my husband offers to help in the kitchen, friends and extended family chuckle and say, “Careful, you’re setting the bar too high for the rest of us!” It’s all in good humor, and we laugh along. But sometimes, I catch myself wondering: Isn’t it funny how some patterns stick around without anyone writing them down?
We like to think we’re shaping our children. But often, they’re the ones handing us the rewrite pen — and occasionally, a plastic spatula.
One of my favorite reminders of this came a few weeks ago. I was in the kitchen, locked in an epic battle with a stubborn jar lid. My son strolled in, hands on hips, gave me a theatrical sigh, and said, “Mom, why don’t you call Dad? He’s stronger.” I handed him the jar and said, “Why don’t you give it a shot, champ?”
He huffed and puffed — cheeks puffed out, face turning tomato-red — and… pop! The lid flew open.
The celebration that followed? Let’s just say it involved ten solid minutes of victory dancing, complete with fist pumps and sound effects. (We’re still finding confetti — imaginary, but no less powerful.)
See? We’re a team. And he’s already figured that out.
Looking back on these kitchen-table revelations, a few interesting observations consistently pop up, offering perhaps some food for thought for both home and office:
- Challenging the Unwritten Rulebook: Just like the idea of certain roles being “for boys” or “for girls” was once a quiet norm, organizations often run on unspoken rules or inherited practices. The fresh perspective from a “tiny chef” can highlight how deeply ingrained some assumptions become, prompting a gentle wonder about their true effectiveness or necessity in modern contexts.
- Influence Beyond Directives: The most profound impacts sometimes come not from direct instruction, but from creating an environment where curiosity and initiative are simply allowed to flourish. My son’s journey with the kitchen set (and the jar lid!) wasn’t about me dictating his play or proving his strength; it was about witnessing his own drive to explore, learn, and discover capabilities.
- The Power of Unconventional Strengths: Our household operates best when we naturally leverage everyone’s unique abilities — whether it’s who’s cooking or who’s tackling the stubborn jar. This brings to mind how diverse perspectives and skills, when embraced rather than confined to prescribed boxes, often lead to more robust solutions and a richer collective experience.
- Valuing the Unseen Wins: Not every significant achievement comes with a trophy or a company-wide announcement. Sometimes, the most meaningful breakthroughs are the quiet ones — a new idea that organically sparks collaboration, a challenging conversation navigated with grace, or the unexpected success of a seemingly small initiative. Recognizing and valuing these “silent wins” in any team environment can contribute to remarkable resilience and innovation.
Parenting, it turns out, isn’t just about teaching them how the world works. It’s also about letting them surprise you, shake up old habits, and remind you that joy comes in small packages — sometimes wearing an apron.
— Ashmita, quietly learning life’s biggest lessons from the little human who still can’t reach the top shelf.
#ParentingJourney #WhatKidsTeachUs #BreakingOldScripts #EverydayLessons #RaisingGoodHumans #ChildhoodWisdom #UnscriptedConnections #GenderRoles #Humor #FamilyLife #WorkLifeBalance #LeadershipLessons #DaryenTeaches #AshmitaWrites #UnscriptedConnections
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This post was previously published on medium.com.
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