Top 5 Things Every Single Dad Needs

   And we begin…

• Financial Help – The first thing you need to do is to get financial help. Although there is never enough of it, I don’t necessarily mean more money. Chasing money as any sort of “answer” to making things better can be a detriment to healthy single-parent family life. One of the things I found from a financial side is that a balance between career (money) and your expanded single dad role is crucial. Some soul-searching is required here. What do you and your kid(s) need? Find a career path that meets that goal and no more. You will also want to just get basic help with the finances. This can be a trusted family member who is good with bills and budgeting or seeking a financial advisor. It is hard enough keeping track of the day to day as a single parent let alone making sound financial decisions on the fly. Get help to have this planned and automate as much of this as you can.
• Babysitters – In my case, I live away from much of my family and it was a disaster trying to find good babysitters. It is essential to find a couple good solid babysitters whom you can call to babysit your child as needed. You need to be able to have time for yourself and need trustworthy care in place that you can call to allow you to do this. Time alone to think, meetings, shopping for gifts, trips to the DMV and the occasional night out are things that need to happen for single dad sanity. Make sure you have reliable, trustworthy care options so you can do these things with less stress and confidence that they are in good hands.
• Interviewer Skills – This probably should have been #2. Not interview skills…but rather interviewer skills. You need to be able to ask good questions. When hiring a nanny for Kay at one point I went through thirteen potential candidates before finding the right one. Some examples of what I learned in the interviews I conducted; One was ok taking and picking up my daughter from school but had no license or car insurance. Three of them had criminal records for Methamphetamine possession (good interviewers use Google too by the way). Five of the applicants had other kids or siblings whom they watched that would overlap time with watching Kay though this was not mentioned until I inquired. Whether it is babysitters, a nanny or teachers, ask good questions. Waterboarding is frowned upon here so, when you are done asking…ask Google too.
• Patience – I never realized how impatient I was until I became a widower/father. Understand that whatever circumstances put you into the single parent role are infinitely more difficult for your child to understand. If you are feeling particularly frustrated or confused about something, put yourself in their shoes and imagine how they must be feeling. Your patience as they cope and learn is probably the biggest thing you can give your child as a single parent. Breathe in… breathe out and then answer or speak. This is one I still work on every day.
• Wisdom – Not necessarily in the wise old sage sense, but good everyday common-sense wisdom. There will be a lot of challenges with life and the raising of your child as a single parent. More than we can possibly know or anticipate. Know when to explore something further, when to stand firm, when to take a step back and when a hug is sometimes better than words. This is harder to do than it seems. We often try to retain the normalcy of what was “before”. You need to realize that that just isn’t the case anymore and that needs, actions and reactions need to change with the circumstances of being a single parent. At some point as a single parent, there will be BIG fish to fry. Save your time, energy and steadfastness for those moments. You and your child will be the better for it.

Have any suggestions or tips you have come across that are things single dads need to know? Put them in the comments below. Let us know what you think or what has been successful for you!