Let go of your expectations and Open Wide to the possibility of things unfolding in other — maybe more magical — ways! Stay Open Wide! ~Melissa Ambrosini
Melissa Ambrosini is the most passionate writer I have ever read.
Her book, “Open Wide,” is both delicious and practical. It picks up where Mrs. Ambrosini’s first book, the bestselling “Mastering Your Mean Girl: The No-BS Guide to Silencing Your Inner Critic and Becoming Wildly Wealthy, Fabulously Healthy, and Bursting with Love,” left off and helps women show up 100% for relationships. Brilliantly written and completely authentic, “Open Wide” could also be called, “How To Nail Life,” “Everything that Matters Most,” “A Handbook for Loving Relationships,” “Personal Empowerment Made Easy” and “The Secret Code to Meaning and Happiness.”
For those unfamiliar with Mrs. Ambrosini’s work, her “Mean Girl” is the inner critic, what psychotherapists refer to as “negative self talk.”
For example, anyone who has a voice in her head that compares them to anyone else and says, “I’d be happy if I had her boyfriend/car/body/handbag/job/house/vacation — why does she have nice things and I don’t?… I guess I’m not good-enough to deserve a nice life?”
The reason that this inner-critic is so detrimental is that it hinders you from showing up 100% and being sufficiently vulnerable to attract authentic friends and partners. So in Chapter 3 Mrs. Ambrosini meticulously outlines how the reader can “Master her Mean Girl” and transcend this inner critic. This is accomplished by stopping trying to please everyone around you, stopping judging others, letting go of comparisons, eradicating expectations, and letting go of the past and future and learning how to be present.
Mastering the mean girl must be accomplished first because according to Melissa “Radical Self-Love = Rocking Relationships.”
And then once in a relationship, it is necessary to practice what Mrs. Ambrosini calls, “Crystal Clear Communication,” speaking from the heart rather than the head.
I emailed Mrs. Ambrosini and asked her, “What are the biggest impediments to healthy relationships?”
People not taking responsibility for their own happiness and not doing their own inner work. It’s very easy to blame someone else for our unhappiness and life, but every time we point the finger at someone else there are 3 fingers pointing right back at you. We must take ownership of our life and happiness and no expect the other person to fix us or make us happy. Also, a lot of people believe the grass is greener on the other side. So as soon as we have a fight or a relationship gets challenging we think, this is too hard, it shouldn’t be this hard, I am out of here. But the grass is greener where you water it. And if you want your relationship to thrive and grow you have to ‘water’ it. You have it give it love, attention, and energy. The more love, attention, and energy you put into your relationships the more they are going to deepen, grow and truly thrive.
Then I asked, ”What are the practicable tools you provide to eliminate those obstacles?”
In “Open Wide” I teach the best communication tool everyone needs in their tool kit… CCC (Crystal Clear Communication). Us ladies think our men can read our minds… news flash, THEY CAN’T! CCC is all about sitting down with your lover (or anyone for that matter), opening your heart (wide) and speaking from your heart, not your head. When we practice CCC we reach the other person’s heart, but if we speak from our head we will reach their head. I also talk about the number one thing that ruin’s relationships and that is expectations. Expectations ruin relationships. When we place a long list of expectations on our partner (or anyone for that matter) you are setting yourself up for disappointment because they most likely will not meet your expectation or standard, and this takes you out of the present moment which is where all the magic happen. Let go of your expectations and come back to the present moment that way you are allowing yourself to have a true and real experience in the now.
Helpful consciousness-raising exercises — Inspirational Action Points called “Inspo-Actions” — thread the chapters of “Open Wide” together and allow readers to partake in immediate activities that will result in joyous relationships. In particular, the section that resonated most with me from “Open Wide” was on “Healthy Boundaries.” This section clearly delineates a “way of being” in the world that constructs the foundations for health, wealth, success and optimally functional relationships.
I highly recommend this book for anyone — not just women — who wants the highest quality tools for engaging in functional, loving relationships.
Originally Published on Medium