Remember Your Name

—

Yesterday was 5 years since losing my grandfather, Pappy. I am the man I am becoming because of his influence in my life. I carry his strengths. I carry his weaknesses. I carry his joy. I carry his anger. I carry all of it…

I carry his name.

When I was a kid, I stole a piece of jewelry from my grandma (Nanny)….. and I got caught, after the fact. So, my dad took me to their house, where I had to tell my Nanny that I’d taken her diamond pendant… Out of embarrassment, I couldn’t tell her I took it. But when my dad asked me, I lied.

“I told her.” -me

“No, honey… you didn’t.” -Nanny

I was red, flushed. I’d felt betrayed. Why didn’t she just cover for me? I was already embarrassed. And now… now I’m feeling alone. Isolated.

“Son, I will always be on your side… but you have to tell me the truth.” -My dad

Those words have never left me… not in 25 years.

Neither have these:

The next day, my Pappy took me down to his woodshop. He began carving a little dog out of a piece of wood, while talking to me. It’s the little dog you see in most of my videos, on my desk. It’s dog I continue to refine in this picture.

“What’s your name?” he asked me.

“Cody.”

“What’s your full name?”

“Michael Cody Jefferson.”

“Son, I need you to remember this…You are a Jefferson. We don’t steal and we don’t lie. That’s not who we are and it’s not who you are. Now, you may have done those things, but it’s not who you are. You can’t outrun who you’re called to be. You can hide and you can refuse it, but it will always be there.

That’s the voice of the Lord in the back of your head, reminding you of who you are…. but it’s up to you to listen.”

Friends,

This world, the people in it.
They will try to define you.
They will push you to redefine yourself.
They will push you to conform.
They will push you to accept.
They will push you to perform.
They will push you to complacency.
To depression.
To isolation.
To confusion.
To your own demise…..

Intentionally.
Unintentionally.
Through perceptively good intentions.

Understand this: you have a name.

And to have a name is to be chosen.
To be loved.
To be seen.
To be KNOWN.

One of the greatest gifts my Pappy gave me was the idea of being fully known and fully loved for who I am, regardless of the idiot decisions I made or how I perceived myself in the moment…

And it took me 22 years to fully realize it and see that Truth for what it is.

Regardless of what anyone or any circumstance has told you… especially us men, who are pushed to PRODUCE and LEAD while being scrutinized for this internal, carnal need to be a MAN…

Having to apologize for being MEN while expected to be MEN…. all while most have never been taught what in the hell being a “man” actually means…

You have permission.
You have permission to evolve.
You have permission to move forward.
You have permission to forgive yourself.
You have permission to forgive others.
You have permission to define yourself.
You have permission to not know and to seek answers.
You have permission to talk about the journey.
You have permission to step fully into who you are becoming.
You have permission to step fully into your name.

It’s always been there.
And who you are is worth being and becoming.

It’s just up to you to listen.

—

Previously published on Facebook.

What’s your take on what you just read? Comment below or write a response and submit to us your own point of view or reaction here at the red box, below, which links to our submissions portal.

◊♦◊

Sign up for our Writing Prompts email to receive writing inspiration in your inbox twice per week.

If you believe in the work we are doing here at The Good Men Project, please join us as a Premium Member, today.

All Premium Members get to view The Good Men Project with NO ADS.

A $50 annual membership gives you an all-access pass. You can be a part of every call, group, class, and community.
A $25 annual membership gives you access to one class, one Social Interest group, and our online communities.
A $12 annual membership gives you access to our Friday calls with the publisher, our online community.