Good old-fashioned sibling rivalry waxes and wanes at a mind-boggling pace. Can a father keep up?
So the new Transformers 3 movie is out. Everyone in Chicago seems pretty excited because a big part of the movie was filmed on the streets of the Windy City. I want to care but I’ve never even seen Transformers 1. Or 2.
Anyway, I live with a couple Transformers. My two sons.
Honestly. In the course of a typical 24-hour period, their relationship runs the spectrum from contemplated murder, foul language and name-calling to a Norman Rockwell painting of two loving brothers tossing a baseball in the backyard.
It drives me nuts.
Here’s a typical breakfast scene in our home between brothers:
Brother One: “Chew with your mouth closed. It’s gross.”
Brother Two: “I am. I can’t help it. It’s my braces. Leave me alone.”
Brother One (under his breath): “You’re disgusting.”
Brother Two (to the entire house): “I’m leaving. Dad!”
Brother One (to the entire zipcode): “Dad! How can you expect me to put up with this!”
And so begins another day of brotherly love for these two guys. I used to try to referee. I used to fiddle, meddle and try to mend. But then the light went off in my thick skull that they needed to deal with this on their own.
Sometimes they do. Sometimes they don’t. They are both stubborn, strong-willed and rigid. But they both eventually transform. Inevitably I’ll find them watching a movie together in the family mancave. It’s nice. And weird. All at the same time.
Back to the Chicago movie. I hear it’s pretty neat. Michigan Avenue apparently looks like a nuclear bomb went off. There are explosions, flipped over cars and mini-wars in the streets. It sounds fun so I asked the boys if they might want to go see it.
But I don’t think that’s going to happen. They’re not speaking.
—Photo lorenkerns/Flickr
About Jim Higley
As a counterpoint, GMP writer Aaron Gordon Facebooked unstinting admiration for his firefighter brother yesterday. So no doubt your boys will be fine! http://m.facebook.com/l.php?u=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.nbcnewyork.com%2Fnews%2Flocal%2FFire-Bronx-Castle-Hill-2-Rescued-125262679.html%3Ffb_comment_id%3Dfbc_10150245763609286_17198904_10150245913889286&h=tAQDNU8N5&refid=7&_ft_a=1180983282&_ft_tf=10150245913889286&_ft_ti=291&_ft_fth=98e03844ee6a527b&_ft_src=1&_ft_time_ft=1310232473&_ft_mf_objid=10150245763609286&cb=5
Great post Jim…I think siblings DO need to work things out but they also…and boys especially (because they don’t so readily have the words to apply to situations)…need some guidance in how to work things out. They need your modeling and showing them via some structured conversations…then they can be more ‘free’ in figuring it out. Sibling rivalry can be akin to bullying so giving strategies to speak up is an important life lesson. )Thanks for the heads-up about Transformers 3! )
Thanks for the nice note! YOu’re right…I don’t TOTALLY ignore them….but I ignore them more than I used to! It’s crazy raising boys. Best of friends. Worst of enemies. In the end, they have each others’ back!
You could always go the old-school route: take them out in the backyard, give them two pairs of boxing gloves and let them sort it out. Brutal? Maybe, but it tends to do the trick.
your comment is all the more funny because the youngest boy just started boxing lessons today! How funny!
Clearly you’d better sign the other one up for boxing lessons too!
As a mom of 2 boys, I can certainly relate!
Let’s just say sibling rivalry is here to stay.
Well I was one of 5 boys. My poor mom! We boys do grow out of all of this! thanks for reading!
Well said! I have two sons ages 10 and 11, sometimes I think they are going to kill each other. But, they are also the best of friends and even when they are fighting cannot stay away from each other lol. I just keep telling them to just go to different rooms or do something by themselves, but they won’t (or can’t) And, we won’t even talk about their older sister
Love, love, love sibling rivalry *sigh*