Recent tragedy has ignited a historic period of self definition for women. Here, a female writer drops some knowledge that many men should read.
Beautiful. It’s a powerful word, one not thrown around as frivolously as hot, pretty or any of the hundreds of words we’ve come to describe women, debasing their worth to nothing more than the symmetry of their face and the fullness of their lips.
It’s a word that holds power and prestige far beyond that of any other adjective. It’s a sacred word, one kept for those who truly can’t be described any other way.
It’s a word that chases women to plastic surgery and extreme diets. It’s the base of all women’s desires and lifelong struggles.
But isn’t beautiful about so much more than looks? Isn’t it in that extra thing — that thing that makes a woman beautiful instead of hot?
We’ve already debated the differences between hot and beautiful, but we never really answered what exactly makes a woman beautiful — what dictates a woman’s right to that elusive status, what embodies that strong adjective we hold to such high regard?
By now we’ve learned that looks are in the eyes of the beholder and there is indeed a somewhat mystical quality of the soul that can turn a beautiful face into an ugly one.
People who have “beautiful” exteriors can begin to look ugly after you get to know them, while someone with a somewhat “average” face can become the most beautiful person you know, proving that beauty isn’t just a façade, but an iridescent quality that is not solely dependent on one’s gene pool.
It’s the quality that elevates a woman from just hot or sexy. It’s in the way she walks, talks and presents herself. It’s the way she radiates from the inside, out. It’s her soul and her spark and that thing you just can’t put your finger on.
It might be the girl you don’t notice at first, the one who doesn’t always stand out. It’s the girl you need to get to know, whose beauty becomes more defined with every conversation, every glance. It’s a word that describes women who can’t be classified as just hot.
Her passions define her more than her looks
There is nothing more beautiful than a woman with passion. A girl who gets excited about things, lives for things and holds things close to her heart is a girl worth knowing.
She’s the girl you’d rather talk to in bed than take to bed. Because passion is contagious and watching someone get excited about something is the most beautiful quality you can find in someone.
She shows you her real face
Women have the right to wear makeup and there is nothing wrong with that. However, a beautiful woman doesn’t feel the need to hide behind it.
A beautiful woman does not do anything for anyone but herself, whether that means wearing makeup or going barefaced to work, she makes sure you know that she does not owe her looks to you.
She doesn’t chase the limelight
A beautiful woman doesn’t fight for the limelight, but is naturally endowed it. The allure of the beautiful woman is that she does not need to work hard or fight for attention.
She is confident and humble, which usually presents a mysterious quality that attracts people more than outlandish gestures and cries for attention. She doesn’t take away from others or place her worth on how many people she’s talking to.
She knows how to talk
There’s nothing worse than a woman who doesn’t know how to use her mouth. A woman who knows how to speak her mind intelligently, who can captivate you with her words and opinions proves that there is nothing more beautiful than intelligence. Smart is sexy and words have the power to turn any girl into the woman of your dreams.
She can go it alone
A woman who doesn’t need a man is a woman who is confident — and confidence is the key to real beauty. A woman who doesn’t need the approval of others radiates with a security and poise that elevates her from the status of just another hot face.
Because being a woman isn’t about needing a man, and a beautiful woman understands that she, herself, is enough.
She’s tight-lipped
There’s nothing more intriguing than a woman of mystery, one who keeps her affairs private and those unnecessary words to herself.
Because there is nothing uglier than people who talk just to hear themselves speak. A beautiful woman is full of surprises and becomes more beautiful the more time you spend getting to know her.
She bends over backwards
Is there anything more beautiful than selflessness? Beauty is found in those who care about more than just themselves.
A truly beautiful woman is compassionate and caring; she will never hesitate to blow her cover by showing that she cares. Hot girls play with your heart, beautiful girls mend it.
She’s open
Beautiful women do not limit themselves. They are open to new ideas, places and people. They do not shy away from things because of stigmas and fear, they are beautiful in their boldness and their open minds.
She’s got soul
There is such a thing as people with ugly souls and we’ve all met at least one person who proves it. A beautiful woman radiates not because of her tinted moisturizer or glossy hair, but because of that something inside her that just makes you want to be near her.
Hot girls don’t need to you show you their souls, beautiful women attract you with theirs.
She’s got that thing
You know that thing, it’s the thing you just can’t place. It’s something that you can’t put into words, let alone describe to your friends.
It’s the special something about her that you can’t place because you’ve never seen it before. It’s the defining quality of the beautiful woman, the thing no one can ever completely describe.
Originally appeared at Elite Daily
Photo Elite Daily
About the author: Lauren “LMoney” Martin grew up with one goal: to be the first woman engineer. Upon finding out there already were women engineers, and unable to pass Calc 1, she chose to study the beautiful and honorable art of advertising. After adverting proved uninspiring, she attempted a career in acting which was over before she could get on stage. And when she failed at everything else she decided to become a comedy writer.
About Elite Daily
Agreed. Zeta Males are good allies too.
Ya’ll missed the point
This is not “let’s exalt the awesomeness and inherent superiority that is Woman”. This is” these are traits beyond the physical that make *A WOMAN* a beautiful INDIVIDUAL”. Guys can have any of these traits & guess what? They’re just as attractive on a man. (I know novel concept to you who seem to perceive praise for women as some sort of attack on men)
Here is a hint: the chicks who want to be on a pedestal are not generally the ones who will share the blood and grit and pain and joy of life with you. They are the attention mongering, high maintenance, drama bombs who will stomp all over you when you don’t give them exactly what they want. Guess what else? There are men who are just like that too!
Selfish, narcissistic PEOPLE may be as physically appealing & sexy as humanly possible, but they are damned unattractive in any sort of relationship. Beautiful PEOPLE have an inner light that will shine from within, if you bother yourself to take the time to see it.
I am that quiet girl, the shy person who was ignored because she wasn’t “hot”. You did not see me because you were apparently too busy sulking over the “hot” women who did not want you.
Do not mansplain or excuse the actions of a misogynistic monster by insinuating that women are worshiped by modern society and culture, we are just the same as men. Different issues, different barriers, but we are all human beings together trying to make sense of and live in this world. You have chosen to “go your own way”. So be it but do not attempt to impede ME or my sisters or my brothers as we travel OUR way.
You used the term “mansplain” on a men’s site.
Are you fragging serious right now?
I never said women were themselves. I said our SOCIETY places them on a pedalstal. Society (from a mans view) says that women are key to your happyness.
I was rejecting the notion of this article because its starts out alluding to the recent shooting then gives us another great list of things we should love women for.
My point was that in light of the shooting where the lack of female afftection was a heavy factor in his instability, why are we tying more reasons to hold women up. I said that if you aren’t happy without a woman you won’t be with one.
This person (me) didn’t self identify as either mgtow or mra. So who is taking things out of context.
And where was my attitude bad? I offered a view that before chasing love we need to be happy ourselves. I offered a view that for a man, women aren’t the be all and end all of everything that is great in life. I can’t help it if that makes you upset. And if that made you upset then it is you who has a bad attitude.
Funny you say that, because women are taught from a young age that the key to our happiness is finding a good man who can provide. It’s a two way street. The only reason women are being placed on a pedestal in this article is because not enough women value their interior. They are also taught (likely by men) that it’s more important to be HOT than smart. That, in my opinion (and that of many other women) is actually an insult.
Isn’t it more about sex than women, though (the key for straight male happiness happiness, they say)? Of course, straight men will be getting sex from women, but you know what I mean. Anyways, women are also told they have to find a good guy to marry, because if you don’t you are just another crazy cat lady, you know. The right kind of woman and the right kind of man are placed on a pedestal. The rest of us be damned.
“I was rejecting the notion of this article because its starts out alluding to the recent shooting then gives us another great list of things we should love women for.”
So you reject lists that say things that can make us love people? Why? Or is it only about women? This site has lists about the importance of men, are you against it as well?
“My point was that in light of the shooting where the lack of female affection was a heavy factor in his instability, why are we tying more reasons to hold women up.”
That is not it. The shooter had this ridiculous view of women (and anyone else) and only cared about the “hot” ones. That concept is alive, strong and very common in society. So nothing wrong in talking about what makes women beautiful and that hotness is secondary. Simple as that.
“I offered a view that for a man, women aren’t the be all and end all of everything that is great in life.”
That is fine. And that is not the point. For some men women (or only one woman) are, though. Maybe another article. You love to rain on other people’s parade, it seems. And always in a very negative and whiney way.
Yeah, that can be called a bad step sometimes.
But the rest is correct.
Utterly correct. And yes, mansplaining is common and appropriate in this forum. I recently had a “friend” tell me what feminism was and why I was doing it wrong. If you really think that being a “good man” is being a man who objectifies women for whatever reason (physical beauty, brains – amazing in a woman, discretion, being outspoken (both of which appear above, which is kind of an oxymoron), or that certain something), then you’re still objectifying women. We are just like you. Except without opportunity.
If you want to be Good Men, then stop thinking about it as men and women, and think of it as people. Stop picking out the eyes of what a “good woman” is and focus on issues that matter, like, for example, the fact that only 6% of reported rape cases end in conviction. Or that a women dies every week as the result of domestic violence.
There are bigger fish to fry than just “what makes a woman beautiful.” Be good men, and stand up for the important stuff.
The thing about the difference between beautiful and hot is that EVERYONE is attracted to true beauty. Only men care about hot, and #notallmen even care about that. If you’re still looking at beauty as something that is even WILLING to be put on a pedestal you having figured it out yet.
Really Dixie…only men care about “hot”?
Last week I tried to say something similar, meaning completely off the mark, and my head near exploded. I spent two days in the emergency!
Beauty, in the humanistic sense, and hotness can coexist in the same person. The latter is a bit of a shiny object that can be fleeting, and as Judith Butler insinuated: is a performance art.
this is sexist crap & it actually made me feel really shit about myself. ur telling woman how to be beautiful? what if a woman doesnt feel ‘confident’ or ‘intelligent’ or like they ‘have that special something?! wow, id be better off reading cosmo
This is GARBAGE. Both politically and purely as a piece of writing.
Cool idea trying to support women by…. giving them more ridiculous, vague, vapid listicles to try to live up to.
X2
Thank you
Not to mention more than 1 of these traits are contradictory.
Sister, you’re right on the mark. Your beauty shines through your writing. Good on you!
Don’t you tell me when to talk, asshole
And don’t you go tellin me I have to be utterly selfless just like every other shitty goddamned ideal woman bullshit thing ever.
God forbid a woman ever have any goddamned self interest.
Everyone is motivated by self interest. Believing otherwise is just wishful thinking. MGTOWs and Zeta Males are motivated by self preservation and not being part of someone else’s agenda. But women can go their own way as well. We get told a lot of things when we are kids, but as we get older we discover that not all of them were true. No one “has” to be something for anyone else. Period.
I found the “selfless” bit to be particularly awful. And, excuse me, but I turned 18 a long time ago. I am not a girl, I’m a woman. If this article is about female people under the age of 18, it’s really damn creepy. I’m very surprised by how sexist this article is. Wouldn’t have expected this from the Good Men Project.
Anyone complaining that this article is putting women on a pedestal is missing the point. I am a woman, I don’t think I’m amazing looking but I get told all the time I’m sexy. Why? Because I’m confident. I can talk to people. I’m happy. I know my worth. THAT is what makes a woman beautiful, any woman, regardless of her physical appearance.
The great thing about this article is that it truly goes both ways. My high school sweetheart pursued me for about 6 months before I relented. I didn’t think he was physically attractive at first, but as I got to know him, he became the most sexy guy on Earth to me. That was 16 years ago. I am now married to a different man. A man who I believe is very handsome, but a man who has no self confidence. When my husband does have confidence or when I see him in action at work, I think he is incredibly sexy.
This “beauty” thing, it goes both ways. It is both a male quality and a female quality. Don’t make this about putting women on a pedestal, or about something that not all women can obtain or about yet another way to make women “better than men”. That simply isn’t the case. Even the most average looking woman can be beautiful if she follows her passions and knows her worth.
Could you please correct the article’s title to say “Woman” instead of “Girl”?
I don’t understand why people have a problem with this article.
A woman can be so incredibly attractive by how she conducts herself, how she moves, how she talks, the interests and passions she holds, her hopes and ambitions.
That’s what I find really “beautiful” in a woman, it’s much more than just appearance. Good Article, I’ve seen similar articles about men.
As a woman, this is embarrassing to read. When in the history of women’s rights has it been helpful to distinguish between “a girl worth knowing”, and implicitly the girls who aren’t. And “tight lipped”? Seriously? That’s just another more euphemistic way of telling a woman to hold her tongue, which stems from the same roots of people telling women to be passive while men are out achieving. When you say these qualities “elevate a woman from just hot or sexy”, you are making the implicit argument that these so called hot and sexy women are beneath the beautiful ones, or that they are inferior in some way and therefore undeserving of the treatment for beautiful women. Although I’m sure it wasn’t her intention, this article ends up being just another instance of categorizing women into respectable, and otherwise, which makes it nothing more than sugar coated slut shaming. It’s a blatant example of how men pit women against other women. The irony is that in her attempt to describe a woman of depth and character, she is being incredibly shallow.
I think some people are missing the point, which is that women are so often valued by external looks. The qualities she listed above don’t really have anything to do with small waists, bug breasts, etc. I think she’s actually trying to say that, just like men, women can be beautiful based on what’s going on inside. Sure, there were some qualities I didn’t necessarily agree with 100% but I appreciate women like her. She’s part of the movement that aims to encourage women to put as much effort (if not more) on their mind, soul etc as their looks. Not enough women value their interior as they do their exterior. As a woman it’s frustrating and sad, so instead of sitting here bashing her, you might wanna thank her for using her platform to promote inner beauty.
Maybe I lack romance in my soul or something, but this article lost me pretty early on. It’s like a Dove ad.