James Michael Sama tips you off on the traps that happy couples have learned to avoid.
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Sometimes, building a solid healthy relationship isn’t just about what partners do, but what they don’t do.
Here are 8 things that you won’t find in the habits of happy couples.
Discourage each other.
Two people who love and care for each other would never attempt to discourage their partner or hold them back in life. They encourage and support each other when it comes to chasing after goals and dreams.
Holding someone else back while in a relationship will only lead to resentment in the long run — ironically, loosening your grip often keeps someone closer.
Play mind games.
Even something as simple as “how long do I wait before I call?” goes out the window when you’re with the right person who is mature and understands you. Call when you want to call, text when you want to text. There will be no games or manipulation when building a solid foundation for a relationship.
Doubt each other’s feelings.
In a happy relationship, both partners know how much they mean to each other. Open communication and affection are important to minimizing insecurities and doubts.
Stop trying.
You know you’ve found a quality partner when they keep showing you how much you mean to them… long after they’ve got you.
Brush issues under the rug.
No relationship is sunshine and rainbows all the time, but the challenges you face together are what make you stronger, both as individuals and as a couple. No problem can be extinguished unless it is faced, and couples who care for each other will be mature enough to have mature discussions and reach a conclusion.
When feelings are hidden, the other partner won’t know what they need to do or change in order to keep the other happy, so nothing will improve.
Snoop around.
One of the key ingredients to a happy relationship is trust, and people who trust each other don’t invade each others’ privacy by snooping around. There should be no need for a password protected phone or deleting your Facebook chat history. Trusting couples should be open books to one another and will have no use for being sneaky.
Dig up the past.
We all have a past that has shaped us into who we are today. Some experiences for better, and others for worse. Happy, mature couples understand that about each other and don’t use each others’ pasts as ammunition in arguments or to start issues.
Let things get stale.
Both inside and outside of the bedroom, it’s important that neither partner gets bored or feels as though things are getting stale. Often times intimacy in the bedroom is actually built outside of it through romantic gestures, showing of appreciation and affection, and always letting your partner know how much they mean to you.
Happiness in relationships is built on communication, trust, loyalty, and mutual respect. These are some of the cornerstones of love — without one, the other cannot exist.
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James Michael Sama is a writer, actor and public speaker who writes regularly on his website jamesmsama.wordpress.com.
Follow James Michael Sama on Twitter: www.twitter.com/JamesMSama
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Originally appeared at The Huffington Post
Stock photo ID:855440248
http://www.breathingforher.com/2015/02/5-things-to-not-do-when-emotions-are.html this is helpful too.
Haha I’m the author of this article. Thanks for sharing. 🙂
Thank you for reminding us of the cornerstones of any relationship built on love…..respect…..trust…..honour. We all have our flaws and weaknesses….but as long as we prop each other up when needed and stand together as a unit…nothing can divide us….true love is a bond that never breaks…..it may bend and change….but it remains <3
Great post! These are great reminders that a relationship needs constant “tending.” Not that is should feel like work, but there are some fundamental guidelines that can help things go more smoothly. I especially agree with the idea of believing in each other’s goals and dreams. Reminds me of the first rule of improv: always say yes (in this case ‘yes, you can do whatever you dream of doing’).
“Discourage each other…”
“Play mind games…”
This can describe frenemies, too…. Thank you for writing this….I am appalled and ultimately relieved of cutting off ties with some toxic people in my life…all people I was very close with and spent many years with….My mind is clearer and less agitated…what a waste of time having such confusing people in my life….
I appreciate this article…I appreciate this website! I know there are good men out there…I tell my clients this all the time when in life coaching I have women wondering where ‘the nice guys’ are.
So happy to see your website and Truth in the articles you provide, from a man’s point of view.
Thanks for letting us women partake as well, even though this is a ‘boy’s club’. 😉
This is all 100% true. Ive been with my wife since we were 15, and our relationship has never been better. We love each other dearly, and are each other’s greatest advocates. Nothing is ever swept under the rug, our feelings are always open, and we communicate them daily.