James Michael Sama tips you off on the traps that happy couples have learned to avoid.
Sometimes, building a solid healthy relationship isn’t just about what partners do, but what they don’t do.
Here are 8 things that you won’t find in the habits of happy couples.
Discourage each other.
Two people who love and care for each other would never attempt to discourage their partner or hold them back in life. They encourage and support each other when it comes to chasing after goals and dreams.
Holding someone else back while in a relationship will only lead to resentment in the long run — ironically, loosening your grip often keeps someone closer.
Play mind games.
Even something as simple as “how long do I wait before I call?” goes out the window when you’re with the right person who is mature and understands you. Call when you want to call, text when you want to text. There will be no games or manipulation when building a solid foundation for a relationship.
Doubt each other’s feelings.
In a happy relationship, both partners know how much they mean to each other. Open communication and affection are important to minimizing insecurities and doubts.
You know you’ve found a quality partner when they keep showing you how much you mean to them… long after they’ve got you.
Brush issues under the rug.
No relationship is sunshine and rainbows all the time, but the challenges you face together are what make you stronger, both as individuals and as a couple. No problem can be extinguished unless it is faced, and couples who care for each other will be mature enough to have mature discussions and reach a conclusion.
When feelings are hidden, the other partner won’t know what they need to do or change in order to keep the other happy, so nothing will improve.
One of the key ingredients to a happy relationship is trust, and people who trust each other don’t invade each others’ privacy by snooping around. There should be no need for a password protected phone or deleting your Facebook chat history. Trusting couples should be open books to one another and will have no use for being sneaky.
Dig up the past.
We all have a past that has shaped us into who we are today. Some experiences for better, and others for worse. Happy, mature couples understand that about each other and don’t use each others’ pasts as ammunition in arguments or to start issues.
Let things get stale.
Both inside and outside of the bedroom, it’s important that neither partner gets bored or feels as though things are getting stale. Often times intimacy in the bedroom is actually built outside of it through romantic gestures, showing of appreciation and affection, and always letting your partner know how much they mean to you.
Happiness in relationships is built on communication, trust, loyalty, and mutual respect. These are some of the cornerstones of love — without one, the other cannot exist.
James Michael Sama is a writer, actor and public speaker who writes regularly on his website jamesmsama.wordpress.com.
Follow James Michael Sama on Twitter: www.twitter.com/JamesMSama
Originally appeared at The Huffington Post
Photo: Flickr/ ericabreetoe