Jamie Reidy has just three words for you to remember on a first date: Be. The. Man.
You meet her. You like her. She doesn’t vomit at the sight of you, so you ask her out. (Or, like Ryan Gosling in Crazy, Stupid Love, you tell her she’s going out with you.) She agrees to the date.
(I’m not going to get into the whole “When do you call her?” thing. I call the next day. Actually, I text the next day to find out when would be a convenient time for me to call that night or the next night. Thoughtful? Check. Considerate? Check. Sure, Vince Vaughn had his “industry standard.” But keep in mind that Swingers could’ve issued a commemorative fifteenth-anniversary Blue Ray in 3-D last year; do you really want to follow the advice of a movie that came out before the ubiquity of Smartphones?)
You call her to chit chat and confirm the night and time. She confirms. Then you inquire as to food allergies or food loathing. Relieved – and impressed – that you asked, she giggles and admits to a dislike of chicken. And shrimp. Either of these would be a hold-up-in-court breakup excuse, but she’s pretty hot, so you let them go. No pressure, but, short of proposing to her, your next move is the most crucial one you will ever make in this relationship:
Tell her where you are taking her.
Let me repeat that: you tell her where you are taking her.
She does not get a vote. More importantly, she does not want a vote. Not tonight, anyway.
She wants you to be The Man. Look confident by making a decision and showing some initiative. She wants to know that you can take control. She won’t want you to run things all the time, obviously, but she does want to know you’ve got it in you.
Basically, she wants to know that sometime in the future you are going to bend her over the couch. And she will love it. Not tonight, probably, but in the sooner-than-later.
If you ask her where she’d like to go, you look insecure and indecisive. That guy is not getting a goodnight kiss, let alone leaving hand prints on her right ass cheek someday.
Now, don’t go insisting on picking her up at her place. She might not need you knowing where she lives already. In this case, soliciting her input is smart. “Would you like me to get you on the way or do you want to just meet there?”
This last tip should go without saying, but I will say it just so we’re all clear: you are paying. Dinner or drinks or coffee or whatever, it does not matter. You. Are. Paying.
What will happen if you go Dutch on a first date? See earlier kiss/handprint-on-ass comment.
It doesn’t matter if she earns more money than you do, or if it’s Anno Domini two-thousand-and-fucking-twelve. Here are two non-negotiable rules in life: the ground can’t cause a fumble and the girl can’t buy on the first date. There will be plenty of opportunities for her to pick the restaurant (she will) and pick up the tab (we hope she will).
But for Date One, show her there’s a new sheriff in town and his name is…you.
—Photo Elmo H. Love/Flickr
This is great advice* to the person who does the asking. But I don’t see why you had to make it about that person being a man. It’s probably true that most women would be delighted with this approach, provided he didn’t take it too far and, while not asking for opinions, accepted and respected those he did get. But honestly? I think most men would be delighted with this approach from a woman too. In fact, having acted in a similar** fashion on numerous occasions back in my youth, I can report that it always worked a treat where… Read more »
Chris Rock on making women happy:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vnU7g4m0XmU
I think the fact that there are so many comments on this article expressing differing opinions reveals the fact that everyone has their own preferences for how a date should go. And it’s easier to know these preferences if you actually know the person. A date will go more smoothly if you don’t assume “This is person is X gender (or X age or X race or X anything really) so they must want this.” Because you know what happens when you assume – you get the wrong details. Sure, the Rule of Large Numbers may reveal general trends in… Read more »
Agree totally.
Spam?
63. You don’t have to follow this advice. Let us know how it works out.
It worked pretty well several times. 😉
Actually, you have the best chances with people who share the same values as yours (and here I mean real equality… not “Equality as long as it’s good for me”).
After all, if someone is expecting me to follow any role… we couldn’t be a good match.
Nice post, and I think you’re mostly right. Your advice might not be good for 100% of women, but for 90% and over, I think it works. I’m just not comfortable with the “it does not matter. You. Are. Paying” part. Because I hate roles and double standards (it would be the same if the roles were reversed). It’s the “Because you’re a man you have to”. Why do I have to? Just because I have a penis?!? 🙄 It’s not just about the money. E.g., I usually lift heavy objects for ladies with pleasure (I like being chivalrous), but… Read more »
Women are not all the same. We’re not all knock-offs of the same generic Woman and there is no one catch-all method to approaching relationships with women which will please all of us. Because we’re actually quite a diverse set of people. We don’t all appreciate being bossed about and being told that we are going out with someone else. Some of us like a degree of autonomy or discussion in the decision making process. Neither are we all in thrall with men who decide that ‘being the man’ in a relationship is synonymous with ‘make all the decisions on… Read more »
“Women are not all the same. We’re not all knock-offs of the same generic Woman and there is no one catch-all method to approaching relationships with women which will please all of us. Because we’re actually quite a diverse set of people.”
True. But this article isn’t about the fact that some women don’t like being lead. Its about the fact that MOST women, even the assertive ones prefer men who lead. BTW, bossing around is not the same as leading.
Margaret writes: “We don’t all appreciate being bossed about and being told that we are going out with someone else.” Where do you see that being mentioned? IN the scenario the woman is being invited to dinner and the man intends to pay, and has a pre-conceived place to have dinner at. She is free to decline, or free to make the destination something on the table. IN my experience the majority of women (but by no means all) most enjoy the company of a man who is willing to push for, barter, and achieve activities he enjoys as much… Read more »
Be the man….right. Its not the advice that needs adjustment, its the juvinille, cocky, self worshiping tone in which its delivered. It sounds like it was written by the same chromosome deficient demographic that buys axe body spray becauss they think it will make up for their severe lack of originality.
I find this post to be quite refreshing. While I agree that relationships should be based on equality and shared decisions, I find more often than not that guys who tell me “I’m happy with whatever you want” on a first date don’t pull their weight in a relationship. I don’t want to be forced into whatever he wants, but I also don’t want to have to do all the planning all of the time, either. It’s a joy to let someone else make the plans for once, and I very much appreciate having those decisions made by “The Man”… Read more »
Ughhh, I don’t want to be YOU. I’m ME!
Becoming friends first and getting to know someone is far more rewarding, enjoyable and egalitarian.
Agreed!
Back in the Sixties, before I met the woman who is now my wife, a friend remarked, “You ought to date more. Women like take-charge guys.” At that time I was dating about as much as I could, given certain restrictions on time and so forth, combined with the idea that a date was a Big Deal, dinner, or a big party, or a concert. I didn’t know I was a take-charge guy. I didn’t know women liked take-charge guys–my friend was not the only one to say this in public, and both men and women have said it about… Read more »
OMG. So embarrassed. I totally owe everyone on this commentary a BIG apology.
I omitted something of vital importance: The Man must order the woman’s entree for her.
“The lady will have the linguini with white clam sauce.” – Mike Damone, Fast Times at Ridgemont High
Dammit, and I was about to remind you of that part…except, I like red sauce. Wait, YOU’RE in charge. Wait, I’m a highly educated, city-living twenty something with a good job…I’ll take the white. And the couch thing, too.
Thank you for lightening things up Jamie. Off to read more of you.
OK, well, if you’re going to bring Fast Times (and especially Mike Damone) into it, I guess I will have to accede to the humorous tone of your piece.
I just missed it the first time :-/
Sorry you were raped, but most people aren’t rapists.
So can we give young men some credit?
The advice to choose where you both eat… especially since so many women like this… is not going to be read as “rape her”, but as a dating practical tip.
Also, let’s not forget that he also says that he gives her a lot of choice otherwise – driving together or meeting, he asks about preferences/allergies, etc. He’s clearly being a little over the top for humor and what he’s saying is very true, not for everyone, but for a lot of people. If I ask a guy out, I’m not going to waffle and act like I don’t know what I want to do or where to go with the guy. If I call up a guy and say, “Hey, do you want to go to dinner?” I better… Read more »
<sarcasm> How kind of him to give her some choices. </sarcasm> Joanna, do you not see any middle ground between wishy-washy indecisiveness and “She does not get a vote”? Or do you think that’s just the humor part of it? I must confess I’m not familiar with Jamie’s writing, so perhaps that was simply hyperbole for emphasis? Because I agree with what you wrote, that if you’re asking someone out, you need to have an idea or two of where “out” is. I also think, and I imagine you’d agree, that you should be prepared to pay for “out” since… Read more »
Agreed.
I think much of it is hyperbole/humor. I think. His book was about selling (hard selling) Viagra, so a) he’s got sales lingo down and the attitude to go with it (which does work with some folks) and the book was turned into a rom/com I think. Reviews are that it’s a funny book. I don’t really prefer this kind of writing, and really, under the hyperbole it’s, “have a plan, make it so, close the deal.” Or so it reads. I worked with a number of pharm reps at one time. Lots of them were pretty slick. I’m not… Read more »
Which is to say, the writing is good. He’s a good writer. I just don’t connect to the post.
Well, I just received “Love and Other Drugs” in the mail from Netflix today so there must be a god or something, right? And she’s got a peculiar sense of humor. For what it’s worth, when I was in sales I broke the one-week sales record my first week on the job by knowing my products and being completely honest with my customers. I like to think the lack of pressure and sleeze left them completely befuddled and they had no choice but to give me their money. Incidentally, my cousin is a big pharma rep; she’s a pretty blonde… Read more »
Will the real NickMostly please stand up? Off to stick pins in my eyes.
I prefer to lay here with this bottle of Patrón, thank you.
Push, stick, bobby, rolling, or bowling? Not sure which would hurt least, but if you feel so compelled please choose that one.
How kind of her (an equal) to let him do the asking and paying…. and then also demand a vote
Nickmostly writes: Joanna, do you not see any middle ground between wishy-washy indecisiveness and “She does not get a vote”? What the woman would be getting in the scenario is a free meal. I think it’s a HUGE leap of blind faith to say that a man who invites a woman out, and has a plan in place, and plans to pay is LIKELY to be misogynistic (or that there is anything inherently wrong in practice). That’s just horse crap. If a woman invited me, had a plan, and paid the last thing on my mind would be that I… Read more »
Listen folks, There are a TON of women in the world, all with different preferences. Just as there are tons of guys who all ask girls out differently. Personally, I agree with Jamie which is why I would like a guy to be more authoritative on the first date. Do I think a guy like that is a misogynist? No! These things are not linked! A girl who must be in control at all times might not like Jamie, and that’s fine. At least they’d both know that up front, as opposed to both pretending to be some way they… Read more »
Exactly!
When a woman asks me.. and also is gonna pay, I feel that not only should she pick (cuz that’s hot) but also because she DESERVES to pick as she put herself out there. Whining about how she should be more sensitive to where i wanna go seems “greedy” to me. Some of these women are probably on a budget.
While I think that there’s almost nothing worse than a person that can’t be assertive an make a decision once in a while on behalf of themselves and their partner, I don’t think all women would be attracted to this “Be The Man” stance. In my experience the men I have dated that call all the shots on the first date, without asking for my opinion whatsoever, turn out to be interested in a completely unequal partnership. I’m not saying that Jamie is interested in cultivating unequal partnerships, but the men I have dated that adopt this “Be The Man”… Read more »
Hear hear, FDB. Not only would this person not get a second date from me, he’d end up spending the vast majority of THE FIRST DATE alone. I want to spend time with people (female, male; platonic, potentially sexual) who are self-confident and self-assured, who have a clear sense of who they are, who have clear ideas of what they want and take ownership of their preferences and desires. But in order for me to enjoy spending time with those people, they also have to want/expect/appreciate the same from me. This kind of “taking over” reminds me far too much… Read more »
Hear hear to FDB and Morgaine.
A completely offensive social gambit, but worse, a very brutish view of human relationships in general, and of the beauty that is possible between a man and a woman in particular.
Jamie’s advice is good because it works. Are there a very small minority of women who will be turned off by a man being assertive and making the decisions? Yes. Will the vast majority of them expect a man to make the decisions for the first date and refuse to even consider him as a potential mate if he doesn’t take the lead? Yes. To be honest, I’ve been far too much like what the feminists here claim to want. Someone who is more concerned that she is enjoying herself and making sure that we’re doing what she wants. Instead… Read more »
Hear hear.
It’s hardly misogynist to decide where to go the first time. Remember, it’s just the first time.
These feminist commenters have their heart in a good place, but they’re just out of touch. Perhaps it’s been too long since they were at the beginning stage of a relationship. In fact, his strategy is showing more consideration/attentiveness to the girl than most people do.
The point isn’t just deciding where to go.
It’s the whole idea that Being A Man is about dominating.
We live in a Dominator Paradigm. It’s all about power-over. Not just between the genders.
We need to shift to power-with, to partnership.
Assertiveness is beautiful in both men and women.
The whole slap-her-ass frame of mind her is really disturbing. I wonder if Jamie was stretching the point playfully.
“It’s the whole idea that Being A Man is about dominating. We live in a Dominator Paradigm. It’s all about power-over. Not just between the genders. We need to shift to power-with, to partnership.” Yes but you miss one thing…its the WOMEN who want men to dominate them. This is what Collin is talking about. Women want a man who will lead them. Its a consistent message you get from most women. Its not up to men. I went to Japan to visit my ex-girlfriend. I had no idea what I wanted to do and I thought that she would… Read more »
I just love how feminists down articles like this one, and then make dating choices that perfectly align with the point of the article.
If any1 forgets Gloria Steinem dated Joe Namath. Feminists are top-rated practitioners of double-speak.
FDB, that’s quite a jump. You’re blowing it out of proportion. I understand where you’re coming from, but thankfully, your jump-to-rape stance is still a fringe minority opinion.
I think this is about who asks who out. If the guy asks the girl out, he should make the plans and pay. If the girl asks the guy out, she should make the plans and pay. That sounds fair (and equal) to me. It just so happens that still – the vast majority of times, probably over 99% – the guy asks the girl out. So the article applies.
The rest of the Thursdays in 2012 will have a tough time beating the third one! This has been a blast. When a woman has asked me out – and it has happened before, despite my stooped posture, protruding jaw and lack of opposable thumbs – I have always OFFERED to pay when the bill arrived. This has universally been met with, “No. I asked you out, so I am paying.” At that point, I lean forward with a big, sincere smile and say, “THANK YOU!” And then I tell the waiter I’ve changed my mind and, yes, I will… Read more »
Great last line.
Jamie, this was fabulous. Thank you. IF I were still out there (NOT, married to a like-minded man for 26 years), this is what I’d want, including the over-the-couch thing…in due time (I’m not easy…;)) Despite the grumblings and the posturing, I believe that the majority of Earth’s women will agree with you here and would appreciate what you have to offer. Best to you, my friend.
After reading over the comments section, I have to comment on a couple of things that I think are being lost in the discussion. The first is nuance. I think it’s important for men to have a plan, to have an internal sense of control and focus, though how that translates externally is both situation and person dependent. Though internally I may be thinking, “I’m the man. I tell her where I’m taking her,” externally that may translate to, “You know… I’ve really been craving Italian lately, and I hear there’s this really cool place around the corner that I’ve… Read more »
If you’re a dominant and assertive type of guy, you’re probably not going to want to spend your relationship butting heads with an equally dominant and assertive woman. Following Jaime’s advice would naturally weed those type of women out, and potentially save you some major headaches down the line.
Bingo, DD. Be who you are and don’t judge. To everyone who got the vapors over this article, it isn’t going to change Jamie’s view, or the views of men like Jamie. I find him to be a fucking relief, frankly.
I think what some people are missing is that if a guy wants a girl he should persue and assume the financial responsibility. Also show some confident while being considerate. I dont think the author is suggesting to enforce but rather romance the girl and take the lead. A man should be considerate and show a bit of old school courtship – treat the girl to a night out. This involves thinking!!!! The girl should never pay on the first date. If you let the girl drop a dime, you’re a bum. Also for the girls out there who say… Read more »
I like this, Lev.
This.
It’s this kind of thinking that makes me weep. Thinking set firmly in a 1950’s sitcom view of how “men” and “women” should be.
Yah, it is a specific point of view, and obviously one that is attractive to some and patently offensive to others including me. But my suspicion is that Jaime gets a lot of first dates. Maybe a couple seconds. Probably not a lot of thirds. Nice life. Just to give an opposing voice, I have a diametrically opposed approach to dating. It works too. Two loving long term girlfriends, other fun dating experiences old and new, with smart and sophisticated and sexy men and women. Some of whom have ended up over my knee with a red ass. No one… Read more »
Just to be clear, the Jamie I am referring to in my comment is the author of the article, not the author of the previous comment.
I like this, Jamie. Trust me.. I’m a feminist all the way, meaning I’ve always made it a rule to be able to take care of myself and to be able to pay for any date I want to go out on and to not put a lot of weight on whether or not I’m in a serious relationship…. But if a man wants to take me out on a date… THIS is the way to do it. Bottom line. Because doing it any other way means he’s not too confident in himself or doesn’t see me as worth the… Read more »
I found the attitudes expressed in this article to be very 1950s. A date is an invitation, not a court order. A woman does not need to give up her participation in the decision making process in order to go on a date. Yes, if you’re asking someone out, you should have an actual plan and not a vague “let’s hang out some time,” but to tell a woman where you are going and to insist on paying if she is not comfortable with that would be a huge turnoff to me. I’d be much more flattered by someone who… Read more »
So, in your view, how aggressive should a guy be if he really wants to go out with you?
He should be assertive, not aggressive. Assertive means you express your wishes clearly, but you respect the other person’s agency as well. Aggressive means you take over and don’t take the other person’s wishes into account at all. Here’s a radical idea: treat women like people. You’ll go far.
Assertive is a better word, I should have used that.. I see what you are saying, though. Of course you sould treat women like people, I don’t think anyone is talking about dragging a woman off by her hair, Neaderthal- style.. the question I ask is one of nuance.
Good to hear. Some men seem to regard women as mysterious creatures who can’t possibly be understood, and thus they needs some kind of bizarre strategy to get them to go out with them. Just take an interest in who we are as people, and that will get you far. Ask what we want, what we’re interested in (and it’s different for each woman). I can’t tell you how many first dates I’ve gone on with guys, in which they spent the entire time talking about themselves. What a snore. A guy (or any person) who actually sincerely listens to… Read more »
“Some men seem to regard women as mysterious creatures” Maybe that is because half the time we find out that you don’t know what you want, you don’t know what you feel and if you do feel you have no clue as to why. You are mysterious even to yourselves. But that is true of all people “Just take an interest in who we are as people, and that will get you far. ” Not inconsistent with leading you. Its is possible to listen to you and to lead you. “Ask what we want, what we’re interested in (and it’s… Read more »
Here’s a radical idea: Start acting like people and do half of the asking.
And when we say we do that you act like you don’t believe it. You may not experience it, but women do ask out men and have for decades. And if they aren’t, then they are silly not to and operating on really faulty assumptions about how the world works.
I want to see all the hands of every man woman for whom asking out is 50/50. Last year I was asked out by 3 different women. That wasn’t 50% of my dates. Just sayin…
Shouldn’t 51% of the population do 51% of the asking?
Well, I’d say over the course of my life I’ve asked out probably 75% of the people. I talk about it friends all over the place. Doin’ my part. Advertising the glory of asking people out, I think it should be 50/50 sure. I don’t have any argument with that.
Yea, but how many other woman do you know who have done 3/4ths of the asking? Too many feminists would rather tell men “how to ask women out” than to tell women to do their fair share of asking.
Again, I’m like Julie. If I want it, I ask for it.
But I’ll tell you not every guy likes that. But if he doesn’t like that, he won’t like me.
The excuses are popping up already. Very few guys dislike being asked out and the good conduct of you, Julie and Amy is not the female norm. You have a “she said” column. Take a poll.
Jamie’s advice works as it is based on the realities of dating and not on feminist propaganda and utopian hopes. Just sayin’
I agree with Julie. I’m fine with doing the asking but a lot of guys don’t like it. Furthermore a lot of guys seem to enjoy doing the asking. To me, either way is fine and my experience has probably been about half and half. If a guy does ask me out, I do like it if he has some idea where he’d like to go. If he intends to pay, I like it if he just says “I’d like to take you out to dinner at ____.” Usually if he says “Would you like to go out with me… Read more »
I’ve asked plenty of people out on dates, more than I have been asked, I think. No big deal.
Awesome. Now ask all your friends the same question and get back to us.
This article just goes to show that dating rituals are still strongly gendered. These moves would not score any points with me or with any other individuals seeking an egalitarian relationship. Not only are you placing women on a pedestal in a passive role, you are placing limits on yourself and the roles that you must fulfill in order to be a man. Take a step back and consider where and when these rituals originated, because they have not always existed, and they do not exist everywhere.
Dating rituals SHOULD be strongly gendered. Sorry. Otherwise, date your gal pals. What’s the point?
Julie D., what are you doing speaking up here? Get back in the kitchen. Oh, wait, I get it, you want to pick and choose your gender performance. You know, keep the things you like (him making the first move, him asking you out, him paying for the date) but not the ones you don’t like. Wouldn’t we all? Well, actually, I wouldn’t, but I don’t doubt there are many who would. My approach is simple. If you want to play the gender game, by all means play the gender game. BUT that should be something you choose to play,… Read more »
I don’t want to pick and choose, Nick. I want him to be the guy and I’ll let those chips fall where they will. I’d never presume to tell a man how to be a man. I like what I like, and I sincerely hope I’ll never be witness to ‘gender performance’. I’m not even sure I know what that is.
I’m not sure what you meant by the kitchen remark. It was kind of funny. However, as much as I enjoy the kitchen, and other rooms in the house, I think I’ll get back to writing some spanking erotica.
Julie D
I don’t think Nick gets its. I’m sure that if you object to something you’ll just speak up…. cause that’s what equals do… speak up for themselves…without needing to be coddled.
Oh, I get it alright, I’m just opposed to most gender role expectations, including those presented in this essay. This gender role performance is fairly benign, as far as they go. I’ll even concede that Jamie’s advice may be effective and perhaps desirable for the majority of women in the US. However being a fierce egalitarian I also believe the way towards a more equal society is tossing out those gender roles as the “default” behavior and beginning from an assumption of equality. Most of us have tossed aside gender roles we find “outdated,” I just go a bit further… Read more »
You think you’re fierce egalitarian, but you aren’t. You’re just a neo romantic whose brand of romanticism works on a smaller pool of women. For one to lead, another must follow. That is not egalitarianism. Why does dating need a leader? And why should the “asker” pick up the check, especially since it is men who do most of the asking. Nothing egalitarian about paying for another’s meal…or the disparate impact such a contrived convention produces on men. “She does not get a vote” ,she does not want a vote” DOES NOT assume she’s passive any more than the phrase,… Read more »
Hey Nick, are you single? 😉
I can be for the right person. 😉
No, wait, that would make me an asshole and I’m trying to stop that.
LOL! 😀
I found this to be really offensive.
Relationships are not a recipe.
“Women” are not a “those people”, a homogenous group who all want the same thing.
And if one focuses on manipulating the outcome of a date rather than cultivating an intention to show up with integrity, appropriate vulnerability, aliveness, empathy and presence, you lose what really matters – authentic connection.
I am horrified that so many intelligent people seem to buy into this approach.
From my experience, this advice holds up. The majority of women I know seem to really want a ‘take charge’ kind of guy- not domineering, but decisive.. they want to be pursued. They seem to be really turned off by the meeting-in-the-middle approach. Those attitudes then affect us guys as well; if I’m on a date, and she insists on splitting, I wince a little, because from experience that’s an indicator that she’s just not that into me, or that she didn’t really consider it a date at all.
Is it not possible she might have heard all the complaints about how “men are expected to pay” all the time and is trying to be egalitarian? I know that’s true for me. I hear all the time on this blog about how men are expect to do the asking and the paying. I take that to heart and did prior to reading this site, having heard from male friends. Maybe she’s into you, but she wants you to know she doesn’t expect you to bankroll the relationship. Also, when in doubt, I have always gone with the “one who… Read more »
I like that ‘whoever asks, pays’ rule.. that seems fair to me.. Maybe it’s just the circle of people I’m in, or the region of the country (Midwest) but the majority of the women I know expect the guy to make the first move, pay, etc.. these are professional, educated women. I’ve had this discussion with them at various times, and this seems to be a common thread with them. I’m not mentioning this as a complaint (though it would be nice to see some flexibility on this issue), just saying that it’s important to understand what the expectations are… Read more »
Whomever is shorter should pay.
What’s fair is that whoever asks DOESN’T pay. The person who takes the risk should be rewarded for taking it, not also have to plan and pay.
Nevertheless, Jamie gave practical advice on what works the vast majority of the times, not what a dating utopia looks like.
I’d like to see that model work for dinner parties and other things. I ask you all over for dinner, and you all bring all the food! So hilarious.
Too funny. A college friend of mine had a Thanksgiving Dinner like that once. The only thing she made was turkey/dressing/gravy.
Actually….I have hosted parties like that. Not a bad idea.
That’s called a potluck!
Didn’t know it had a name. Learn something everyday. Thanks.
There is no right or wrong way to go about dating, there just is a flow that works and it works the way you naturally can allow it to work, this is just another one of those scripts that people can follow that may work for some and may fail for others. I tend to not follow others people’s advice. I feel out the vibe. There is a subtleness to body language, there is a spontaneity to the ebb and flow of life. To follow a script is like being a book collective dust on a shelf. This is what… Read more »