My Struggle With Sex Addiction

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  1. All 12 step pograms are based on attraction ather than promotion… chk ur ego bro

    • I’m not sure what your problem is here, Ann.

      Writing a post as ANONYMOUS about how his 12 Step group has helped him is totally within the ethical guidelines of the 12 Step traditions. Plenty of people have done it – including the founders of AA. There’s nothing “egocentric” about it. It certainly doesn’t qualify as anything that the 12 and 12 were referring to when they said “attraction not promotion”.

      “Promotion” would involve doing things like paid advertising, which you will never see a 12 Step group do. Simply sharing how your own 12 Step experience has benefitted you – telling your first person story – does not qualify as “promotion” in 12 Step terms.

  2. Dear Anonymous,

    You pose an excellent question: “Is this what gender equality promised?” From where I stand, we’ve experienced only half of the promise of feminism. It’s time for men to come into their own, and I applaud you for speaking up and speaking out, both with honesty and clarity.

    Side note: Over Thanksgiving I heard a woman say, of a poorly designed dishwasher, “Obviously a man made this.” I objected. I know lots men who are as particular about the dishwasher as women are, and no, they aren’t gay. Demonizing others on the basis of gender is just poor form. We can do better.

    It takes a special kind of courage to share such a painful healing journey. Thank you.

    I wish you much happiness and success,

    • Valter Viglietti says:

      @Dina RB: “I heard a woman say, of a poorly designed dishwasher, “Obviously a man made this.”

      I’d say that, “Probably, an engineer designed that”. ;)
      And it could have been a female engineer as well :lol:
      (ever saw the Amy Farrah Fowler character on The Big Bang Theory sitcom?).

  3. PS – I hit post and then read my words. Oh, no! o.O

    I am in no way comparing your struggle with sex addiction to the gender divide over dishes. That was a simple– and I hoped silly– example of the larger struggle with stereotyping. It’s everywhere.

    Wishing you the very best,

  4. That was intense. Thank you for sharing your story with the world. I hope that more people, regardless of the addiction they are experiencing, can find inspiration from your words. Four years and running. Keep it going. People from everywhere are sending prayers and positive vibes.

  5. Valter Viglietti says:

    Thank you Anonymous, this was enlightening.
    This is really what “sex addiction” is, not the much touted, hyped and shallow hysteria that media love.

    And my best wishes for your journey.

  6. Thank you for this honest account of your experience, strength and hope. its amazing to see that you have a design for living that really works. my partner just joined the program and the look in his eye after his meetings is indescribable. he looks free. he, too, has a lot of fear around his ability to have sex with me, but I think that’s just an old idea. I’m a member of alcoholics anonymous and through the steps I definitely have been offered a new freedom and a new happiness. although there was a time when even taking OTC cold medicine felt like a relapse, I’ve really been surprised by how much I have been given my life back. a life I never really had before the steps. anything else is just inventory.
    thank you again.

  7. anonymous
    thank you for sharing.

  8. Dear Anonymous,
    Thank you for sharing your story. You wrote it beautifully. We need to hear more of these kind of stories that will help our understanding and grow more compassion so desperately needed in the world these days.
    Love and peace to you <3

    Thank you Good Man Project for making this happen.

  9. Anonymous writes: The last 40 years are a mere blip in the context of thousands of years of patriarchy. It is no wonder that there is confusion and friction between genders and that my generation of men are emotionally battered. I think that we are bearing the brunt of a sort of backlash or at least a fall out. Sometimes I think form what I hear that some women have a very low view of men. Infantilization, the portrayal of one-dimensional men in advertising, the callous chauvinism that has crept into post-feminist discourse and the preemptive condemnation of all men as bastards.

    Our media is seemingly in thrall to a demented perversion of chauvinistic post-feminism where it is fine to label all men as puerile, thoughtless philanderers or one-dimensional, hapless man children. The irony is that men dealing with this syndrome do not need to be demonized. They need women to understand it is not about misogyny, but pathology.

    Lot of truth here. Male bashing has become the acceptable cultural sport in our society.

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