These ole boys and gals in Congress are too lazy to hit a lick at a snake. More than half of ’em done cuddled up to an orange sidewinder, even though they knew he was a snake before they picked him up.
Somebody shouda told em’ about sidewinders:
Sidewinder — “A sneaky, untrustworthy person. Named after the sidewinder rattlesnake’s deceptive movement pattern.”
Those suckers move sideways, and’ll chase you all the way through hell and half of Texas.
And you better believe that old sidewinder’s gonna strike all ya’ll fast talkers before it’s all said and done. John Cornyn, that rascal from Texas, knows about being snakebit. After he was bit in the butt in the primary, he pert much said the orange snake likes to create tornadoes on a trail drive, and that, like an unbroke horse, Congress couldn’t “rein him in.” What he’s sayin’ is they all just jump chumps up there in the big house.
Those Congress folks don’t know about nothin’ but jawin’. They jaw all day, and sometimes until the rooster crows — that there’s called a filibuster — and it don’t amount to a hill of beans because that ole orange snake gonna strike down any bill he don’t like.
As that good ole boy Will Rogers said,
Congress can jaw all they want, but they cain’t outtalk the old orange sidewinder. He’s got a wobblin’ jaw. That ole boy could talk the ears off a mule. He talks like he was vaccinated with a Victrola needle. He says he don’t “get vaccinated”. But he’s slicker than a boiled onion, so best not trust him as far as you can throw him. And ole boy’s wide as two ax handles, so you cain’t throw him far.
The opposite of Congress is Progress
I’ll add, since the orange one ain’t a pro, he must be a con. Oh wait. He pert near is.
But back to those varmints in Congress.
As Molly Ivins, that good ole gal journalist from Texas said about the Texas legislature,
She felt the same way about those yahoos in Washington, D.C.
When Congress got somethin’ important to pass, the House hightails it outta there and stays gone. They’re outa there for more than a month of Sundays this time. Some of ’em have learned to speak their mind, but ride a fast horse to get out while the gettin’s good. They’ve learned to know when to hold ’em, know when to fold ’em, know when to walk away and know when to run.
When it comes to votin’ about releasing more of them Epstein files, they blow that pop stand so fast it makes your head spin. On the flip-flop, while they’re out gallivantin’ around, they cain’t give that sidewinder what he wants — to restrict’ all the rest of us folks from votin’ in the midterms. He knows he’s done messed with people’s scratch, and we’re mad as wet hens.
My stars, gas and grocery prices are high as a cat’s back, but Congress don’t know nothin’ about that. They got more than they can say grace over, livin’ in tall cotton, while the rest of us ain’t got a pot to piss in or a window to throw it out of. We’re too poor to paint, too proud to whitewash. But Congress ain’t got no problem whitewashin’ their shenanigans.
Gettin’ these fools to agree on anything is like pissin’ up a rope. We can explain it to ‘em, but we can’t understand it for ‘em. It’d be funny as all get out, but these varmints be makin’ laws we’re sposed to follow, and they don’t know shit from shinola about us.
What’s the answer? Hell if I know. We’ll be gettin’ us a chance to vote ’em out come November. But, as Molly Ivins, my home girl journalist said,
—
This post was previously published on MuddyUm.
***
You may also like these posts on The Good Men Project:
 Escape the Act Like a Man Box |
 |
 |
 |
If you believe in the work we are doing here at The Good Men Project, please join us as a Premium Member today.
All Premium Members get to view The Good Men Project with NO ADS.
Need more info? A complete list of benefits is here.
Photo credit: iStock
