How These Men Apologize Will Amaze You

south africa, men, apology, community, respect, love, forgiveness, neil hill, good men, village, films for action,

This could just be the best way to resolve all conflicts.

Originally posted on Films For Action

In this African tribe, when someone does something harmful, they take the person to the center of the village where the whole tribe comes and surrounds them.

For two days, they will say to the man all the good things that he has done.

The tribe believes that each human being comes into the world as good. Each one of us only desiring safety, love, peace and happiness.

But sometimes, in the pursuit of these things, people make mistakes.

The community sees those mistakes as a cry for help. They unite then to lift him, to reconnect him with his true nature, to remind him who he really is, until he fully remembers the truth of which he had been temporarily disconnected: “I am good.”

Shikoba Nabajyotisaikia!

NABAJYOTISAIKIA, is a compliment used in South Africa and means: “I respect you, I cherish you. You matter to me.” In response, people say SHIKOBA, which is: “So, I exist for you.”

We can learn so much from this…

Like The Good Men Project on Facebook

Photo: Films For Action

About Neil Hill

Neil Hill is one of Europe’s top outdoor, wilderness and survival coaches. He believes that our modern disconnect from nature has led to many of our personal, physical and social problems. He has led courses into some of the worlds most hostile and wild environments. His passion is to reconnect people with their aboriginal roots in nature, enabling them to have adventures and experiences that unlock their massive potential, Neil is the co-founder of Earth Strength.


  1. Which African tribe specifically?

    The lack of any information makes me think that this is made up or rumour-milled.

    • I’d also really like to know which tribe, and possibly the language if available, just for reference. Love this though! 😀 <3

  2. This simply isn’t true. For one, I get highly suspicious of anyone referring to an “African tribe,” as if Africa is a small locality. It is the second-largest continent on the planet. For two, the sources are highly suspect.

    The picture is from here:

    Nabajyoti Saikia is the name of an Indian professor with many journal publications:

    This is where the original story comes from:…/06/maasai-bemba-african-the-same/

  3. This is a hoax. You can find it circulating around facebook but it is definitely fake.

  4. It is a hoax. Explained on site:
    which says that story is quoted by the American author Alice Walker in her book “We are the ones we have been waiting for”,2006. And it is expanded upon in more depth in the Tennessee local newspaper, The Chatanoogan : . It gone viral in May 2014 on Facebook, thanks to it being posted by Canadian, Natasha Kyssa (businesswoman, author, and public speaker) on her Facebook BUSINESS page.

    Most of the times, story quotes words “Shikoba Nabajyotisaikia” and shows a photo of an African boy. This photo is now being replaced by others, since it was debunked.

    This story is not true in any instance and in any of these sources.
    The photo of the boy comes from the Jessica Hiltout book “Amen, grasroots footbal” about soccer in Africa. It can be seen here: and is explained by the author here:

    There is no such custom in Africa. Saying all the good things about someone would take up a 15 minutes maybe, not two days. Words Shikoba Nabajyotisaikia does not mean anything in any African language…

    The truth about Africa is quite the opposite, it is a slaughterhouse. Example of how Africa deals with crime is a necklacing: , supported even by Winnie Mandela, who in 1986 said “With our boxes of matches and our necklaces we shall liberate this country”. Necklacing is forcing a rubber tire, filled with petrol, around a victim’s chest and arms, and setting it on fire.

    Please help in debunking this hoax, since it gives a wrong picture of Africa and prevents the world from looking for real solutions for African problems.

  5. Thanks to those of you who pointed out that this is a hoax. It was such a sweet idea, but seemed apocryphal, and am glad to see some of the links that debunk it.

Speak Your Mind