Hyped fashion blog The Man Repeller has almost nothing to do with men—except, possibly, to remind you that women don’t necessarily care what you think about their fashion choices.
I don’t know that a formal survey’s been done, but I think it’s safe to say that in the eyes of most straight men in America, turbans on a women’s head aren’t hot. Neither are ostrich-feather miniskirts, utility pants, or capes. To many guys, tight, form-fitting, and revealing fashions constitute “sexy.” And isn’t that what fashion is supposed to be all about? Getting us to look at one woman rather than another?
According to Leandra Medine, young designer and creator of The Man Repeller, the answer is no. Her site (which has been the subject of worldwide buzz) celebrates fashion that “proudly obstructs the male gaze” (The New York Times) and acts (in her own words) as “sartorial contraceptives.” (Think creative use of bow ties and harem pants, and you’re just getting started.) The fashion press has embraced Medine’s “man-repelling” aesthetic. Judging from the comments on sites that cover the beauty and clothing industries, The Man Repeller is a hit with many women.
Men, meanwhile, are confused, a bewilderment satirized at Jezebel in an April Fool’s post (“The Shocking Stupidity Of Women Who Hate Men.”) from fictional columnist Marjorie St. John-Blyth:
I simply loathe women who hate men. Websites like ManRepeller turn ostracizing men into a game, which is not only disrespectful but an act of self-hatred! Every woman must admit that she is on this planet thanks to a man. Women wish they had the qualities men have. Men are strong! Men are wise! Men built this country, and all of Western Civilization! For a woman, it is impossible to live without a man. Oh, one can survive. But to truly enjoy the lavish party life offers, a woman must have a male chaperone.
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St. John-Blyth’s satirical piece sounds painfully close to the commentary that comes in painful seriousness from anti-feminist men and women who plead for a return to traditional gender roles. It spotlights the real power behind the “man-repelling” phenomenon that Leandra Medine has harnessed. Many women do want to wear things that block the ubiquitous, penetrating male gaze. And a lot of the time, women want to wear clothes that are about their own sense of what is fun or stylish—and not about what catches male attention.
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The Man Repeller offers a great challenge to men. First of all, it’s a good reminder that women don’t just dress to impress us. I grew up being told that women care about clothing for two reasons: one, they want to attract men; two, they want to defeat other women in that cutthroat, all-important competition to prove their allure. Women, the story goes, had to care about beauty in the past because it was a tool for survival, a weapon in the fight for scarce “good men.” That might have once been true, but it certainly isn’t true today, which is one of the reasons Medine’s site is getting so much attention.
The Man Repeller asks us guys to think differently about how we look at women. Growing up in American adolescent male culture, I was given a narrow definition of what was “hot.” Boobs were hot; legs were hot; butts were hot. I remember that in seventh grade, I had a serious discussion with my friends Bill and Troy about whether we were “ass men” or “boob men.” I don’t remember which one of them brought up those terms, but it did shape how I talked about—and how I thought about the female body for years.
Though I didn’t need to be taught to be sexually attracted to women, my desire was shaped and directed by porn, by peers, and by how everyone around me seemed to interpret fashion. It took a long time to let go of that poisonous lesson that women were, in Troy’s words, “all prudes or sluts or teases.” It took even longer to realize that women weren’t necessarily dressing for me or for anyone else but rather for pleasure of fashion for fashion’s sake. For those who haven’t yet learned that lesson, The Man Repeller is a good reminder.
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There’s nothing wrong with wanting to see a woman’s skin. There’s nothing wrong with being turned on by butts, or boobs, or legs. But there is something wrong with the single-minded focus that so many men have on those body parts alone. Almost every woman has had the experience of having a man talk to her chest, unwilling to tear his eyes from her breasts. It’s not that women don’t ever want men to notice cleavage, it’s that when a conversation is happening, they’d like our gaze eventually to move to their faces—and our attention to move to the person behind the body. It’s the difference between “looking at” someone and “seeing someone.” Unless we’re blind, we all start by doing the first. But we need to move on to the second, making the effort to see what lies beneath the immediate visual appeal.
Despite the name, The Man Repeller isn’t really about men. From a fashion standpoint, it seems aimed at encouraging women to follow their own aesthetic, absent the constant calculating about what’s hot or not. There’s something undeniably liberating about realizing that it’s OK to take a break, however brief or extended, from focusing on being desirable.
Still, guys do well to think about some of the other reasons why women are drawn to the fashions Medine promotes. Street harassment is still a worldwide problem, and while it can happen to women of any age no matter what they’re wearing, many men feel that they have permission to ogle or whistle at a woman in revealing clothing. To the degree that the “man-repelling” phenomenon is about protecting women from predatory male behavior, it ‘s a reminder to guys that we have a long way to go in terms of making public spaces safe for women. (And yeah, calling out male harassers is part of a good man’s job.)
The Man Repeller isn’t about hating men. It’s about the simple idea that women’s bodies don’t exist only for our pleasure, and that women’s fashion isn’t only about attracting and holding our attention.
Or maybe it’s just about celebrating ostrich feathers and harem pants.
—Image via The Man Repeller
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will this just lead to burkas?
As long as men don’t start beating and murdering women for not wearing burqas or niqabs, things should be fine.
Thaddeus. “political correct” means something else entirely. For example, a prof at UNLV was almost fired for making the observation that gays typically have shorter planning horizons than straights, probably due to not having families. It may or may not be true, seems it could be empirically investigated, but it is one of those things you Must Not Say. Blacks commit disproportionately more violent crime than whites. But you must not say that. You know about James Byrd, but not the Knoxville or Wichita horrors. You know about Matthew Sheperd but not about Jesse Dirkhising. For the latter, see Andrew… Read more »
I have two articles of clothing that I always thought were ‘man-repelling;’ a boxy winter coat and a hoodie about 3X the size of any other hoodie I own. The purpose of this clothing is purely because of the cold winter here, nothing to do with men one way or the other. I feel lumpy/shapeless/boxy in this clothing, and I always thought it put me in the irrelevant to unattractive range. The first time my boyfriend told me I looked sexy in the hoodie, I thought he was joking and laughed it off. I thought I could maybe look ‘cute’… Read more »
Can we get a little consistency here? I mean if women “dressing not to please men” or whatever is all empowering, then too the so called “slacker” movement i.e men not getting high-powered jobs to please women must also be empowering… is it not?
Where is the article about how Judd Apatow is a revolutionary combatting female expectations of male success?
oldfemninist.
Almost right. The women in The Movement weren’t dressing independently to please themselves. They were hewing to a strict code imposed on them by others. Or, to put it another way, they couldn’t otherwise sit at the Cool Kids’ table.
Thaddeus
Difference is, with the actual burqua, it’s the guys who beat up the women who aren’t wearing it, or whose ankles show.
With the man-repeller, it’s other women–figuratively, sort of, speaking.
And the latter is voluntary–figuratively, sort of, speaking.
To wit, my comments on choice, far above, Richard.
I encourage you all to actually look at the manrepeller.com website. It is hilarious. So much money spent on fashion and it is almost uniformly ugly. The site is a brilliant parody of the Sarah Jessica Parker fashion nonsense. The Man Repeller points to how subversive Madison Avenue has become in convincing people to shell out good money to buy what is, in sexual function, essentially a burqa, the Old Order Mennonite costumes, or Christian religious order habit. Somehow they are making dowdy and bizarre clothing into a statement of personal independence and conspicuous affluence. Quite the marketing trick. I’m… Read more »
Just as if I ordered it! An example of equating fashion that does not please the penis with ugly. Right there in black and white, “shell out good money to buy what is, in sexual function, essentially a burqa….Somehow they are making dowdy and bizarre clothing into a statement of personal independence.”
I don’t see how being independent of the male sexual gaze isn’t independence. Apparently it is not the right kind of independence.
Old Feminist, with all due respect, isn’t this EXACTLY the same argument certain Muslims make re: the burqa?
Gregette, as Richard pointed out, this is not being forced on women because men supposedly can’t control themselves. It’s not women’s sexuality being controlled by others, saved for their rightful owners. It’s women deciding they will dress independently of what men want. They aren’t “hiding” their sexuality any more than your talking about your experiences in Brazil isn’t “hiding” your experience with trigonometry. It’s making fashion statements that are orthogonal to sexuality. If I want to dress as triangularly as possible even if that means my waist-hip ratio doesn’t please your penis, and I’m doing it because I personally like… Read more »
Old Feminist, did you notice my comment above that the difference between American and Afghani fashion is choice?
My point is that women in the U.S. and Brazil, in general, “dress independently of what men want”. Your fashion choices are hardly dictated to you by men. Fashion, in general, is “orthogonal” to what most men want in sexuality. That’s probably a good thing, given that so many men have absolutely vulgar tastes when it comes to sexuality.
@oldfeminist “I don’t see how being independent of the male sexual gaze isn’t independence. Apparently it is not the right kind of independence.” Ideological consistency is not needed here. Manrepeller’s parody targets a certain segment of fashion industry which purports to be “attractive”, but is not. There are plenty of women’s clothing designed for purposes other than to please men or to show off to women. Much clothing is designed to be practical. Take the standard winter coat used here in the upper Midwest. Staying warm trumps all. Nothing sexy about down parkas. With extraordinarily rare exception, the women I… Read more »
Oops, I mis-attributed a quote to oldfeminist that should have been attributed to Blanchette. It makes my last paragraph wrong and my general agreement with oldfeminist greater.
My apologies.
That was me, Redpine. And yes, it is a prejudice, but one based on watching and listening to thousands of men talk about what they find to be sexy on the Copa strip.
“An example of equating fashion that does not please the penis with ugly.”
Now that is completely unfair. I am deeply offended by this ignorant stereotype. I actually think and evaluate fashion using my testicles, not my penis. Hrumph.
Correlation is not causation. Yes, most of it doesn’t excite the penis – true… But that’s just a correlation.
Most of it also happens to be OBJECTIVELY ugly. Like if I saw those pieces on a shelf they would look ugly. Most men-repellant fashion is ugly, because its ugly. Its inherently ugly, not just due to lack of sex-appeal.
I’ve heard for years that women dress to slay other women. Most women I know have other things to do with their time and energy, so I don’t see much of what might be that going on. High fashion is frequently grotesque on anorexic models. Why the designers think they’re going to sell to anyone other than those whose desire is to seem in/with it/current is beyond me. Perhaps that’s a commercially sufficient market. My father remarked decades ago that, when in Manhattan on business in the winter, he’d seen a bunch of models getting out of a shuttle near… Read more »
The most common reaction to fashion that isn’t sexy is “ugh,” as if the only reason for women to look and dress a certain way, in fact the only reason they should exist, is to be sexually attractive. If they can’t manage that, at least they can strive to not be sexually unattractive. We’re constantly counseled on how to “correct” our droopy breasts, fat, hair where it’s not “supposed” to be, wrinkles. A dress that makes your ass look big or makeup that makes your eyebrows invisible is automatically assumed to be a mistake, because WHO WOULD WANT TO FUCK… Read more »
We’re constantly counseled on how to “correct” our droopy breasts, fat, hair where it’s not “supposed” to be, wrinkles. Who does that counseling, Old Feminist? Not men: other women do it. As for the “who would want to fuck that” reaction for “a dress that makes your ass look too big”, at the risk of starting a huge flame war, let me quote known misomnithropist, Jim Goad: “ladies, they’ll fuck you as you are.” Has anyone here – male, female, or other – EVER heard a het man say “Oh, hell no! I won’t fuck her! That dress makes her… Read more »
Great reply. Plus ive observed that it is usually feminine gay men and not masculine gay men that behave in the manner youve described.
Perhaps this has something do to with the instincts of femininity, whether in a male or female body
Perhaps it has to do with people who are trained to notice fashion? A boy who’s not interested in constantly exuding masculinity (or seeming like he does) can use that energy for different things. I preume that fashion is as interesting as football, so why WOULDN’T a boy be interested in it, unless he was mortally afraid of being called a sissy?
It’s more than being trained to notice. Even when european men were very fashion conscious in the late18th c. The macaroni, a feminine gay man was noted for his excessive preoccupation and dedication to fashion
Sure, I’ll buy gay men are more likely to be interested in fashion. But given that fashion – even in the late 18th century – is socially constructed as a women’s preserve and given that society generally says there are only two sex roles to play – male or female – it’s no surprise to me that many gay men end up attracted to feminine things.
What I disagree with is the idea that fashion is ESSENTIALLY feminine, outside of a given cultural tradition.
That ain’t the case in most Amazonian native communities, for example.
Er, not precisely, hook. There are literally thousands of different body decoration patterns used for different things in the hundreds of different groups in the Amazon. They cannot be reduced – even “mostly” – to one or two things, as you are doing here.
Tatoos, piercings, scarification, ornamentation and – crucially – body painting. As for this relating to “identification, family, status, hunting prowess… superstition etc.”, much the same thing could be said for fashion in general, anywhere, including the fashion inductry. Most of the clothes and ornamentation humans use have nothing to do with their physical needs, Hook.
By the way, if you think men don’t notice when women dress up or do their hair or wear makeup, be a woman and try it both ways. They don’t have to say something about it, or even realize they’re doing it, but they sure as hell do notice.
How would you know?
Old Fem, Brazilian women notoriously wear much less make-up than North American women. Notoriously.
So do you think that the typical response of the North American man who comes down here is “My God! These women are so ugly compared to the ones back home?”
Not.
Wow, ThadGre, way to pick exactly one item from my list and suggest it invalidates the whole message. Dress up, do their hair, well that’s just unimportant compared to how much makeup Brazilian women wear. There couldn’t be a REASON for that, could there? Oh wait. http://www.maria-brazil.org/business_in_brazil.htm “Even though it’s said that Brazilian women wear more makeup than American women, most of my friends in Rio, Salvador, Recife, etc., usually go for a light powdering of the nose and a bright-colored lipstick. The reason is obvious: with that humidity, how long do you think they could keep eye-shadows, mascaras, etc.… Read more »
Old Feminist, with all due respect for “Maria”, I study gringo-Brazilian interactions for a living. I did my masters on gringos. And even Maria admits that the idea that Brazilian women use more make-up is a gringo conceit, not supported by her own experience. Regarding hair and clothes, you’ll notice “Maria’s” advice is for BOTH sexes. So your point is…? Why do American men think Brazilian women are attractive? Because they are still calibrating their appearance for the patriarchy. How is using LESS make-up than American women “calibrating their appearance for the patriarchy”, exactly? As for the point that “‘Brazilian… Read more »
I’m also kind of curious. You say you study Brazilian-gringo interactions for a living. They you say you study punters for a living. And that you spend a lot of time watching the interaction between punters and sex workers. That you don’t see the hand of patriarchy among the people you watch, I wonder if you could ever see it anywhere at all. And aside from calling non-Latins”gringos” do you use other ethnic slurs? I’m not sure I would take much of the rest of your categorizations seriously. Your “you people” is pretty funny in that context. Funny not meaning… Read more »
Old Feminist, “gringo” is hardly an ethnic slur. In Brazil, we have maintained it’s original Iberian meaning of “foreigner with an accent”. It has exactly no necessary ethnic connotations. U.S. Americans are gringos down here, but then again, so are Argentineans, Mexicans and even Mozambiqueans. You can see an article I wrote on this point over a decade ago here: http://blogs.eserver.org/issues/2002/60/blanchette.html As for “you people”, hey I admit it’s a generalization. A pretty damned good one, however. For my masters, I did in-depth interviews with a series of anglophone residents regarding their reactions to Brazil when they arrived and I… Read more »
Regarding prostitution, it’s funny that you think I should see “the hand of the patriarchy” at work there. When I began studying prostitution, I was pretty much a card-carrying feminist regarding its causes and effects. It was only after spending much time in brothels, strip clubs and interviewing pros and punters that I realized something which should have been obvious from the start: much of feminist musing regarding prostitution is done by men and women who’ve never seen the sex trade close up and who certainly haven’t bothered to talk to its practicioners. Yes indeed, there are deep gender, class,… Read more »
“I’d have to disagree with your assessment that patriarchy is more in evidence in prostitution than elsewhere in society.” Really? I never said that prostitution must be more sexist than any other part of society, did I? I just said I thought you would see it there (as opposed to maybe in the stock exchange). Why do you think that’s the “proper” question to ask? I asked if you saw the hand of patriarchy in prostitution. You kind of say yes here. Elsewhere you embrace the idea that women who want to be sexy and nothing else would dress as… Read more »
I think it’s a good question to ask, OF, because western society (and certainly most women who claim to be feminists) considers the prostitute to be more exploited by men than the wife. As for prostitutes and the way they dress, the vast majority of them go far beyond what’s considered normal in female fashion. Their fashion is not set by the industry because it attracts the male eye: by definition it attracts the male eye because it violates what the fashion idustry has set as a standard. Ana and I once saw a great example of this at Banda… Read more »
“I think it’s a good question to ask, OF, because western society (and certainly most women who claim to be feminists) considers the prostitute to be more exploited by men than the wife. ” NO THEY DON”T. It’s the patriarchy that elevates the wife above the sex worker. Feminists have been saying for literally decades that prostitutes and wives are treated much the same, just with different titles. “I’m an anthro, OF. I approach theory from the ground up: grounded theory based in observations, not editing my observations to fit my theories. So if I’m concentrating on describing what I… Read more »
“Their fashion is not set by the industry because it attracts the male eye: by definition it attracts the male eye because it violates what the fashion idustry has set as a standard. ” Maybe you’re confusing Haute Couture with fashion in general. The fashion industry in general has not set as a standard clothing that: minimizes the waist-hip ratio; makes one’s breasts look droopy; makes one look old, fat, or “out of shape,” covers too much skin, makes you look too different from other women. Most women’s fashion is sexy but not too sexy. It is calibrated differently in… Read more »
NO THEY DON”T. Yes, most of them do. You may not. Some feminsists do not. Unfortunately, right now, most feminists seem to do, as judged by the organized voices of feminism and their political actions. Would you like an alphabetized or itemized list of feminist organizations, world wide, which are publically in favor of the elimination and repression of prostitution but have not taken anything like a similar stance with regards to marriage? What’s say, NOW’s position with regards to marriage and prostitution? Or that of ANY mainstream feminist organization you’d care to name? I realize this might be an… Read more »
“You don’t think dressing too sexy for your environment can get you raped? No, I don’t. But you and a certain Toronto cop obviously seem to think it can. ” Nice try. Noticing sexism isn’t the same as being a sexist. Blaming women for rape because of what they wear is wrong. But that doesn’t mean they don’t get raped because of it. And women who are raped are discounted way more often if they supposedly “asked for it” by wearing sexy clothing. So that’s why women tell each other not to dress that way. It’s not right, but the… Read more »
Nice try. Noticing sexism isn’t the same as being a sexist. First of all, OF, I don’t think it has anything to do with sexism: it has to do with a sort of naive determinism which feminism should have schooled you away from on the subject of rape. A woman’s clothes do not make her more likely to be a rape victim, period. That’s a post facto rationalization used by rapists and it will be used no matter what clothes the woman wears. So I don’t think you’re being sexist: I think you’re simply wrong. I have NEVER seen a… Read more »
The most common reaction to fashion that isn’t sexy is “ugh,” as if the only reason for women to look and dress a certain way, in fact the only reason they should exist, is to be sexually attractive. If they can’t manage that, at least they can strive to not be sexually unattractive. Complete hogwash. The most common reaction? THE MOST COMMON REACTION!?!?!?!??! That’s just a blatant lie on your part. If what you say is true, men in big cities would be walking down the street and going “ugh” every 4 seconds, like they’d literally have to pause every… Read more »
(I hope there’s no limit to the number of posts I can put up….) I was thinking of this analogy: Blaming men for the evils of women’s fashion is sort of like blaming women for the rampant use of steroids in professional sports. You know, men are always trying to impress women, and women like muscles, and men basically compete with each other because of women, and steroids screw up men’s bodies in pursuit of an elusive ideal, and whatever hurts men must be good for women, so the conclusion is clear. Shame on women for making men inject steroids.… Read more »
Anonymous male, your analogy is perfect because its also borne out of science. There are studies that showed men and women do the EXACT same mistake. Women look at female mags to figure out what’s attractive to men, and get the idea that they need to be super-skinny and then starve themselves. The studies show however that the women OVER-ESTIMATE how skinny guys like. The same sets of studies show that men look at men’s magazines and figure out that being super-muscular (steroid level big) is attractive to women, specifically, men on average over-estimate how much muscle is attractive to… Read more »
In fact, watching men with prostitutes is a GREAT way to understand just how enormously flexible men’s collective sense of the “sexually attractive” is. Here in Rio, one of the most sought after prostitutes is dwarf, for example. And the number of flabby, out-of-shape and older women who come out each night on the strip to compete with the younger, in shape women and who still always manage to attract clients has to be seen to be believed. There’s a whole 35+ prostitution scene, for example, that caters to men in their later 40s, ’50s and ’60s who DON’T WANT… Read more »
The first post on the blog features this dress. If that’s man-repelling, I have no words.
I don’t think most men would notice that dress one way or the other, Amanda. The typical male comment regarding it would be “She’s wearing a black and white dress”. If the duy was really sensitive, he might say “..a black and white STRIPED dress”.
The fact that you seem to think that the piece is notable in any way, shape, or form bears out my theory that women have a much more discerning eye when it comes to this sort of thing than men.
She looks cute to me. Is it wrong that I would date her just for the balcony?
So does this mean that the title is pretty much baiting people into arguing about it?
What tripped me up (and confused some other people, too) is that the article and the “Men Repeller” joke seems to conflate two different things. There’s a difference between doing something to discourage X and doing something because you don’t care about X. (Or maybe I should say ‘XY’….) Dressing in order to discourage men from looking and dressing because you don’t care if they look are similar to each other but not quite the same thing. Also, there are some people who seem to imply that “not especially attractive” is the same as “totally unattractive.” But, there are more… Read more »
In comparison to women, men tend to have a healthier image of the female body.
I disagree. Women’s in lad mags are really just the same stick thin models who’ve gotten plastic surgery boob implants.
Sometimes not even that. Sometime they come right off the runway… wash off the ghostlike make up… put some bronzer on and make a different sexy pose in the seafoam.
Same women, different lighting.
All of the Victoria Secret models… were at one time runways models.
How do men know what is ‘natural’ beauty?
If one is adept enough at wearing make-up… the point is to look like one is not wearing it.
The rate of eating disorders in this country show that many svelte figures come with the price of fingers down throats or obsessive calorie counting.
Hehehehehhehee read about Romans doing the same so they could eat more!!!! LOL.ROFL!!!
And all the obese people? 66% overweight or obese? the fact that the BMI is one size fits all. Hmmm methinks much left out Hmmmm.
I’m not sure what kind of men’s mags you’re reading… but if you look at the (utterly repellant) likes of Nuts and Zoo in the UK, the models are definietly hyper-edited with all kinds of photoshop trickery – even if the end goal isn’t to make them stick-thin. I wouldn’t say “natural” is the right word at all.
I disagree. Women’s in lad mags are really just the same stick thin models who’ve gotten plastic surgery boob implants. Woah… Not 🙂 The lad’s mags girls are on average 4-5 inches shorter, have more feminine WHRs and probably weigh 10-20 pounds more. There were several studies done on this. Both men and women make this mistake. Men over-estimate the range of muscle that is attractive to women by 20-30 pounds! That means most men think that women are attract to guys like in the bodybuilding mags. Wherein women are really attracted to the kinds of guys who are in… Read more »
I’d say 95% of people who have offered criticisms of my body (which has fluctuated from a size 4 to 8 ) have been men.
I know feminists have a bizarre fascination with “95%” (you literally use it for everything), but you do realize how improbable it is that you have tracked every single comment someone makes about your body and can create credible statistics from that data, right?
Oh, c’mon Amanda. I think you’re REALLY editing your experience. The only way thast could be true is if by “criticisms” you mean “openly negative comments”. Women critique their and their friends’ bodies all the time. You NEVER had a friend ask you (or asked a friend) “Do these jeans make my ass look too big?” You’ve never complained about your diet or how you needed to diet or how you broke your diet or had a friend do the same? As a man, it’s amazing to me how women police themselves and each other regarding their bodies. It’s definitely… Read more »
I find that the comments from men tend to come in really uninvited situations, unlike the more constructive comments from my female peers—like when I have turned a guy down at a bar and he will get all sour grapes and tell me I’m ugly anyways, or when I am debating a guy in class and his trump card to a debate about gender or feminism is that I am fat/ugly and that is why I feel that way, or being called a dyke on the street by men who don’t like the way I dress. The funny thing is:… Read more »
I’ll buy that, Switchin. The point being that it’s not that men’s comments are necessarily negative or whatnot but that they are totally unsolicited. Still, my main point remains: women are kept in line, in terms of fashion and body image, BY OTHER WOMEN, not by guys. I very much doubt women, in general, take anything men say about their bodies or fashion seriously – at least in terms of absorbing it as a justified critique to which they must bend their behavior. Men’s comments are thus not at all part of the policing aspect of society when it comes… Read more »
Thanks for your truly tasteful commentary, Sara.
“I’d say 95% of people who have offered criticisms of my body (which has fluctuated from a size 4 to 8 ) have been men.” I won’t dispute those numbers right now, but I would point out that men and women may comment on a woman’s appearance very differently, not just in terms of frequency but in terms of how direct they are. I get the impression (okay, maybe a sexist stereotype) that women are more likely to be indirect in their critique of other women. It could even be couched as something complimentary, like “you are so brave to… Read more »
Bravo. I am in love with this project.
On the subject of street sexual harassment, where do you think the solution lies? A typical day out in a typical Indian city translates into at least two incidents of harassment. And it doesn’t stop at ogling.
“Western” and “Third World” are not antonyms.
I just thought I’d point this out.
Hooray for Western Purdah! I’m encouraged that women in the west are now being invited to be as liberated as their sisters-in-struggle in Afganistan, who have long known how to shield themselves from the sexualizing male gaze. No, seriously, this initiative has three major weak points as far as I can see… First of all, women generally don’t dress according to what men find sexy, but according to what women think is appropriately sexy. Women spend tons of time and effort on hair, clothes and make-up that, frankly, most men simply don’t notice. Western purdah has been tried before (in… Read more »
By making all about your desire or lackthereof… you missed the whole point of the article.
It’s not about ‘repelling’ or ‘attracting’… it’s about not giving a damn.
She doesn’t give a ___ if you think her boyfriend jeans are ugly or cute or whatever.
She is wearing them because she likes them.
Women wear to impress other women and compete with them. We don’t care about our boyfriends or husbands’ opinions.
“By making all about your desire or lackthereof… you missed the whole point of the article. It’s not about ‘repelling’ or ‘attracting’… it’s about not giving a damn.” I guess I’m confused, then. The language in the article suggested that these clothes were designed to be unattractive to men on purpose. If something is designed to “repel” something else, then the thing being repelled is the big reason. If I wear insect repellent because I don’t want to be bitten by mosquitoes, then it’s mosquitoes’ desire that is central to my decision. (Hmm, now I’m imagining a new line of… Read more »
The title of the blog is a joke. It’s really sarcastic.
In the mid nineties a lot of fashion for women was deemed ‘not sexy enough’ (ie. the prairie dress and combat boots trend… or the flannel grunge trend… etc.)
In fact, lot of the fashion was called ‘man repellent’… hence… the author of this blog turns that into her personal catchphrase….
I will proudly wear whatever strikes my fancy despite what ‘the forces that be’ think. Man repellent thus is a very ironic joke.
Sara, as Fernanda and I have both pointed out, the people who women “give a damn” about when they dress are other women, not men. So no, I’m not missing the point of the article, which is that Leandra’s clothing supposedly “proudly blocks the eyes of men”. The point is that “normal” fashion is somehow not female-centric and Leandra’s is when, in fact, it is almost entirely so. I’d hazard a guess that 90% of the fashion dollar in the world is spent by women. And no, women do not give a flying fornication about what men think when they… Read more »
As a woman I can tell you… we don’t wear heels for our health.
I’d burn every last one in the universe if it were up to me. Seriously.
If you look at clothing that is mass produced… more of it falls in line with what you think men want to see.
Haute couture… which is what her blog mostly deals with… is something very few people engage with and no one on a daily basis.
And as a man, I can tell you: vanishingly few women get turned down by a man for love, sex, friendship, or respect because of shoes. Most men couldn’t even tell you what shoes their girlfriends, wives, or colleagues wore after being with them all day. Seriously, Sara: if you’re wearing high heels, it’s not because the Patriarchy Police will order you socially shunned by men if you don’t. Who notices women’s shoes, Sara? Ask yourself that qeustion and respond to it honestly: it isn’t the vast majority of men, it’s women. And no, women do not buy clothes based… Read more »
As an aside, girls play with dolls all over the west and are sociallized to be incredibly sensitive regarding said dolls’ wardrobe. Typically, the female eye has been conditioned from birth to note the most minute differences in tone, color, style shape, texture and what-not of the most outré fashion items imaginable. And you’re telling me that all of this is because men care deeply about women’s fashion, Sara? Men – most of whom, on a good day, can barely get their heads around the fact that they shouldn’t combine solids and patterns – are the Secret Masters of Women’s… Read more »
“And as a man, I can tell you: vanishingly few women get turned down by a man for love, sex, friendship, or respect because of shoes. Most men couldn’t even tell you what shoes their girlfriends, wives, or colleagues wore after being with them all day.”
I agree, though I think shoes may not be the best example. (All those foot fetishists and everything.) An even better example would be purses. If a woman blows an entire paycheck on a designer handbag, it is most definitely NOT in order to attract a man.
Give me a break, Thaddeus! I *am* a woman. I go shopping ALL THE TIME. And omigosh… can you believe it? I know some men too!!! Men are not opaque to women’s fashion choices in the least. They observe them much more than they let on. They tally and rank. They praise and chide. Gay and straight. When I ‘glam up’ the comments are mostly from men. Usually seek to reward my display of masochism ie. heels with praise. Women do not comment to me about heels. Men do. Men notice the difference from my sneaks one day to heels… Read more »
Sara, I’m not making an absolutist argument: I’m making a generalization. A very easily researched and supported generalization. And here you are, taking me ot task because not 100% of men are opaque to women’s fashion. That was never my argument in the first place. The majority of men – I’d say the vast majority – are effectively opaque to all but the most obvious components of women’s fashion. THAT is my ´point. Like I said above, I study prostitute’s clients for a living. Yes, men DO rank women. All the time. But I have NEVER, EVER heard strsaight men… Read more »
I wonder if your perceptions would be different if you were speaking to men about women who are not sex professionals. I wonder if the men’s evaluations of the women’s appearances might not be so directly predicated on her sexual assets. For example, if you ask a man about the appearance of Tila Tequila, he will probably focus on her sexualized appearance, because that is the bulk of her presentation. But if you ask a man about the appearance of Sen. Hilary Clinton, do you believe that the size or pleasingness of her ass will still be the immediate focus?… Read more »
Silly us. Of course you are right. I compliment women on their dress, haircut, and makeup all the time. I learned how in the patriarchy handbook. You know the one they pass out to all born with a Y chromosome at birth, but we never see. Thankfully, it is well read by the women in our lives who gleefully and persistently instruct us to notice and compliment them on their dress, haircut, and makeup. Or else!
Well, I should qualify that my remarks are based on what I know about so-called “western” cultures primarily. It would be biodeterminism if I said that biology determines what we find to be sexy. What I’m saying is that “sexy” clothing is understood by men as such IN COMPARISON with a given group’s “non-sexy” clothing. That’s a symbolic – or cultural – difference that’s being judged there, not a biological one. I guess you could say that people’s ability to manipulate symbols is, ultimately, biologically based. I wouldn’t object to that. As for MRAs not being bio-determinist, but bio-social… First… Read more »
A Hook, “political correctness” is such an abused term that it means precisely jack shit. As far as I can see, people trot it out as something of an ad hominem. It means “I do not have the information necessary to actually engage with your point, so I’m going to claim that the only reason that you’re making it is that you’ve been brain-washed by commies, you dirty hippy, you.” The superorganic concept of human culture was developed in the 1920s, mostly by immigrant German social scientists who had little sympathy for radical politics of any sort. So perhaps it… Read more »
In reply to A Hook: “Technological evolution and geographic location is the difference between grubs and pizza.” I can see your point about geography and technology changing quite a bit over time and from place to place, but there’s still a role to play for culture. What people consider edible is quite variable from culture to culture, it changes over time within the same culture, and today parts of the world import their favorite foods from thousands of miles away. Industrialized societies today could easily mass produce grubs and snails on an industrial scale, if the demand was there. There… Read more »
Exactly, Anon. Where I grew up, sushi would be considered a food on the order of grubs.
Saying that the fashion industry is totally controlled by straight women and gay men is an overstatement, and it sounds a bit like gay-baiting. But, I think there is something to the fact that there seems to be a relatively high proportion of people in the fashion industry who are deciding what feminine beauty is who are not actually attracted to women. They have just as much right to make those decisions as anybody else, there’s nothing wrong with it, it’s not some massive conspiracy, but it’s hard to say they’re lockstep agents of hetero male patriarchy. To me, the… Read more »
I think it’s kind of a chicken-and-egg thing at this point. While women/gay men may be the progenitors of the materials, are they the progenitors/enforcers of the attitude? Or are they just continuing to produce what sells? Our society hates “fat people,” and therefore there is a constant voice in everyone’s head that they have to manage their weight. The fashion industry just takes this to extremes, while the TV/movie industry seems to polarize the genders: fat men get women, fat women get skinny (and then maybe get men). It’s true that the fashion industry is extreme to the point… Read more »
Fair enough. I would agree that it’s not just one group controlling another group; it’s sort of symbiotic or chicken-and-egg. The fashion industry is about selling things, so it does have to capitalize on what consumers already desire. But, designers are also artists pushing the style envelope, and they are trend-setters to some degree, telling people what looks good. There’s a bit of push and pull. Not being attracted to the models one designs for is, I imagine, creatively liberating.
Okay, let’s say there’s this thing called patriarchy that is set up to benefit me and my people (men) at the expense of women. It’s set up so that my people get what we want, so our sexual desires are the ones that dominate. Let’s say the women’s clothing and fashion industry is a tool of this patriarchy, that clothes design and fashion marketing is about making all my people’s wishes come true. Let’s say the fashion industry has been using all its tools – guilt, shame, peer pressure, body insecurity, etc. – to pressure women to look the way… Read more »
System Fail, I think your heart may be trying to go to the right place, but in effect what you’re saying is that you are dissatisfied with the terms of the Global Covenants Governing the Fair Use of Women. The woman-products displayed on magazine covers, etc., are not to your taste. You would prefer some others of a different type. This is not a radical sentiment. What is radical is right up there in the URL to this page: “the-man-repeller-not-about-men.”
You’re right, it’s not a very radical statement, and I did make a bit of a “straw person” argument. (See what I did there?) I didn’t really mean it as a radical statement, certainly not a revolutionary smash-the-system kind of statement. I also didn’t mean to suggest there’s no such thing as patriarchy, just to offer yet one more variation of the endless “Not All Men Are Like That” (NAMALT) argument. I appreciate you giving me the benefit of the doubt about my heart being in the right place, but I’m afraid I can’t take any credit for noble motives.… Read more »
P.S. If you’re shaving your armpits and wearing bras, I will take responsibility for that, if you’re doing that for men. Fair is fair.
You mean more like Boobs on Sticks like Sports Illustrated vs. Sticks on Sticks as in Vogue?
lol
I agree that I’m not really seeing the context that informed this piece, and appreciate your assertions that you don’t subscribe to the Current American Ideals of Sexiness ™. That said, plenty of men still do. And plenty of men won’t think about what’s being said in the article, and will take that website as simply hating, or perhaps *thwarting* men. And plenty of men (and women) won’t take the time to objectively realize that disliking a particular outfit is not the same as ridiculing the woman wearing it. So, while your satire is entertaining, I still think this piece… Read more »
Hey everyone:
The point is that the blog promotes an aesthetic whose goal is not seeking the lust of the traditional male gaze. This means fashion that deviates from the norm of legs, boobs and ass. So MRA’s have nothing to be upset about, because it’s promoting a look different from the one that they perceive is built to exploit the male libido. Everyone wins.
This article is correct is saying that the blog, which is named to be cutesy and attention grabbing, actually little to do with men.
Speaking for myself, if you want to repel my “male attention,” walk around with a screaming baby in your arms or talk loudly and obnoxiously on your cell phone. I’ll avoid eye contact and walk the other direction.
Sorry, denim overalls won’t turn me off (easy access, easily removed, farmgirl fantasy, etc.)
There are some inaccurate assumptions here about how men look at women on the street. If only it were that simple to just cover up more and dress a certain way and men will not look at you. As if “the straight male gaze” was that simple. I have heard many women say that they have been harassed when they were dressed frumpily, and they were really surprised how little it mattered what they wore. Men who habitually look at women (and I’m not saying that’s a bad thing and I’m not saying that’s the same as harassment) will usually… Read more »
I don’t get it. I’m a man and I don’t find these clothes repellent in the least. Am I missing something? Not the point that women have a right to dress for themselves, I get that. My girlfriend wears real fur in the winter and I’ve learned not to lecture her about about it.
The name of the blog is an intentional joke.
From a fashion standpoint, it seems aimed at encouraging women to follow their own aesthetic, absent the constant calculating about what’s hot or not. Is that not what women have been doing all this time? I do not know heterosexual men (or many homosexual men) who are at all concerned about women’s fashion aesthetic. Indeed, it is difficult to imagine that scores of men sit around poo-pooing some women’s Target sweater or her audacity to wear last spring’s Prada collection. Far more often that judgment comes from other women, so this sexist notion that men are so obsessed with how… Read more »
It’s not the type of clothes that women are wearing. It’s tight-fitting clothes or clothes that show skin that this particular fashion is poo-pooing. And men only ever stare at a woman’s breasts when they’re outlined by tight-fitting clothing. I’ve never seen a man look at a woman in a baggy shirt, because no matter how big your breasts are, if you’re wearing baggy clothes, baggy clothes are going to hide the shape of your breasts, and I think most men would agree shapely breasts are more attractive than shapeless breasts. If a woman dressed in baggy clothes, a man… Read more »
People already think that “male gaze” constitutes more than just looking, so how would women dressing in baggy clothes change that?
I’ve never seen a man look at a woman in a baggy shirt, because no matter how big your breasts are, if you’re wearing baggy clothes, baggy clothes are going to hide the shape of your breasts, and I think most men would agree shapely breasts are more attractive than shapeless breasts. Your mileage must vary from mine. You see the part of the script of being man says that we must want and lust for women all the time. I’ll admit I’ve had conversations with guys in the commentary about a woman in sweatpants and sweatshirt was just the… Read more »
Nice piece Hugo. This might have something to do with age too. I always loved fashion growing up. I was voted best dressed in school. At that time, I dressed for me and what I liked based in fashion trends or not. Some of my guy friends would tease me good naturedly because they didn’t get girls fashion trends. But I didn’t mind. I liked what I wore. When I got into college, I did dress more sexy. It was a more sexually charged environment with more girls around to compete with. And at that stage of life, you’re sexuality… Read more »