Sylvia D. Lucas wants to put the “men’s bodies are yucky” myth to bed.
You’ve undoubtedly noticed, perhaps approvingly, that you’re more likely to see naked women than naked men in movies unless they’re the meaningful, artistic, or plot-essential nude scenes involving concentration camp victims or emotionally distraught older males revealing their surprising vulnerability. (Don’t worry—I’m not discounting the gratuitous penis scenes in the likes of Forgetting Sarah Marshall, Wolverine, Wild Things, Color of Night, and others, but you do have to admit those are few and far between.)
A boyfriend and I have had lengthy, and sometimes heated, discussions about why there isn’t a more balanced penis-to-breast ratio in modern cinema. “There’s no audience for it,” he said. “Men like naked women, but women don’t care if they see naked men in movies.”
I’m sorry?
Yes. Yes, we do. We enjoy it. Partial nudity or full nudity, we like it (more so if he has a nice body, naturally—anyone who is plopped naked into a film and who has a body generally agreed upon to be unattractive is usually included for comedic value, and just as men will laugh and point at an unattractive naked female, we’ll do the same when the male is unattractive).
I’m not sure who started the rumor that we don’t like male nudity or the male body, but it’s been very effective—I’ve even heard some women taking the sentiment further by saying, “Women’s bodies are beautiful, but men’s are funny-looking. Their thing just sort of dangles there like … I don’t know what. I would always rather look at a naked woman than a naked man.”
Er… OK.
N … No. Nope.
Straight women like men’s bodies. In fact, it deserves its own line:
We love your body.
Generally speaking, that is. We, too, are visual creatures, after all (if we weren’t, why would we spend so much time decorating?), so to be perfectly honest, we probably aren’t going to be immediately attracted to a man who doesn’t take care of himself by eating right, getting some regular exercise, etc., but when it comes to our overall attraction to The Male Body, our appreciation of it is actually quite healthy.
Robust, even.
We love your strong, solid thighs and calves. Your penises in their wide variety of shapes and sizes (and sometimes, angles), which, by the way, are just as enjoyable to look at when they’re soft as when they’re not. (Penises are no weirder for dangling there than breasts are for hanging where they do—all of these parts are exactly where they belong, and we very much like where the penis belongs, both aesthetically and on a more utilitarian level.) You have broad shoulders. Wide chests. That V shape as the back narrows to the waist.
Yes, we love the naked male body. And we’d like to see more of it in movies. We’ve been deprived for too long because someone, somewhere (probably a man who didn’t want to see naked men in movies) started the rumor that men’s bodies are ugly and awkward. There’s no reason for men to think women feel this way about them, or for men to have adopted the opinion, themselves. As much scrutiny as the female body has endured over the years, it doesn’t make me feel any better to know men have been made to feel their bodies are somehow unattractive or inadequate. Your bodies are damn beautiful. That said, you should, however, be aware that…
Size matters
It’s time you know the not-so-gentle, but still very loving, truth about how we feel about your penis. After all, we know just about all we could ever possibly know about how you feel about our breasts. It’s only fair that you receive the same straightforward and unfiltered feedback.
How we feel about penis size is all very situation-specific, but even so, there’s no getting around it—size does matter. It’s safe to assume that American men are more aware of, and concerned about, this than are—for example—European men, because, of the two, American men are the least likely to wear Speedos. Why are they so reluctant to show us everything while expecting/hoping women will wear itsy bitsy teeny weenie bikinis? It could be that our country—as compared to a European country—is the least likely to expose much of the male body in magazine ads, commercials, movies, and car shows, which leads to our American men feeling like they should always be pretty well covered in the groin area. Publicly, anyway. Privately, you’re often very happy being naked. And we thank you for that.
♦◊♦
For those of you who retrieve your information about women from Men’s Health magazine, this section will respond to the 2010 Men’s Health article, “How Big Is Yours? Penis Size Doesn’t Matter to Her. So Stop Worrying and Start Pleasuring Her.” This article strives to reassure men that their penis size is loved just the way it is by citing as support a British research study and an informal survey of two women: Nicole Beland, who was Men’s Health’s “Girl Next Door” until 2009, and Men’s Health “Sex Professor” Debby Herbenick, Ph.D.
The results of the British research: “63 percent of men complained of having inferior hardware—but none of them was smaller than normal!” (emphasis theirs). The article goes on to ask, and answer, “What is the average penis size? Measuring erect, between 5.5 and 6.2 inches long and 4.7 to 5.1 inches around.”
The British study also returned the following results: “85 percent of women reported they were happy with their partner’s size.” I should note that it’s been found women will often lie when asked questions about sex, and this includes questions about whether we’re sexually satisfied with a mate, whether we watch porn, whether we’ve had an affair, and how many sexual partners we’ve had, so draw your own conclusions about the legitimacy of the penis-satisfaction findings.
And what did the female Men’s Health employees say about whether penis size matters?
Former “Girl Next Door” Nicole Beland: “Yes, we care about the size of a man’s penis. But when it comes to sexual satisfaction, it’s pretty far down on our list of priorities.”
“Sex Professor” Debby Herbenick, Ph.D.: “Women find it difficult to orgasm [during penis-vagina intercourse], and oral sex and hand stimulation are often more effective, as are vibrators,” she says. “It’s not personal—it’s just how some women’s bodies work.”
When it comes to penis size and intercourse, Dr. Herbenick’s assessment is difficult to argue with because it’s often true. While we certainly enjoy sex with your penis, it isn’t necessarily going to finish us off without help elsewhere.
As for what Beland says, I suspect she may not have had sex with a man with a very small penis. While even a small one can be very gratifying (sexual position can change to accommodate size), if it’s very small, it usually won’t be as gratifying for a woman as it will be with a man who has a larger penis.
Of course, whether a penis is “small” or “large,” for the purposes of intercourse, depends entirely on how the male/female bodies fit together as a unit. Jane Doe’s “large” may be Jenny Doe’s “small.” And, again, whether the insertion of the penis brings her the greatest pleasure she’s ever known isn’t as important as many men think it is, because, as Dr. Herbenick said, we like other forms of stimulation, too.
But then there’s aesthetic value.
It’s true that we love the male body and the many sizes and shapes it comes in. But, just as many men enjoy looking at larger breasts—in tank tops, in tight T-shirts, in wet T-shirts, in bras, in baggy sweaters, in bikinis—women enjoy looking at larger penises.
In the previously mentioned study of British men and their penises, the men were found to be of “normal” size when they were measured erect. Somehow, I have a feeling it wasn’t their erect penis they were concerned with, but their soft, un-engorged penis. It isn’t the erect penis we see in jeans, sweat pants, Speedos, and underwear. It isn’t the erect penis we first see (unless it’s early in the relationship) when you take off your clothes. When we look down as we pass you on the street, we’re hoping for something we can see, something that presses against your jeans, something that makes us say, “Oh…”
It doesn’t mean we don’t love your soft penis no matter what size it is, it just means you might catch us turning for a second look (or staring) when a bigger one happens by. It’s nothing personal. It’s just how some women’s visual stimulation works. (Thank you, Nicole Beland.) While we should certainly avoid being obvious and rude about it, we hope you’ll take our interest, even if it’s a very fleeting interest in another man’s pants, as evidence that whoever started the “men’s bodies are funny-looking” trend is full of shit.
Check out Sylvia’s book, What Every Woman Wishes Modern Men Knew About Women.
—Photo Oggie Dog/Flickr
About Sylvia D. Lucas
I’ve noticed this about US movies and other media. Not so much elsewhere. But then I come from a country which had full frontals in TV shows during the seventies and also produced (warning – naughty bits) Puppetry of the Penis: The Ancient Art of Genital Origami DVD
It’s American culture that displays all the hang ups I’m afraid. So much so that the real hangers are considered distasteful and hidden from view.
I’m reminded of a particular visit to the dunny at work. My manager was already doing his thing at one of the two urinals. As I took up position beside him he looked at me and said “Ah, this is the place to hang out.”
On a more serious note if one examines art throughout history there’s no shortage of male bodies and genitalia. The distaste for the male version is a relatively recent and primarily western English speaking phenomenem.
It might be more that women like seeing naked (and non-naked) women too. Check out women’s magazine covers. They all have a picture of a sexy woman on them.
Because we’re supposed to think that if we buy and read those magazines, we’ll somehow end up looking like (and being as desirable as) the women on the cover. It has nothing to do with enjoying/being titillated by other women. (I’d guess [?] it’s the same concept behind the shirtless/wet t-shirt/open-shirt men on men’s magazine covers.)
Yeah, It’s a weird little circle though. We are supposed to idealize and seek to be like those images of the pinnacle of female beauty. The entire magazine is an advertisement for products designed to make women look more…more. And the voices telling women to buy them are female (the voice of the magazine is female) but the purpose of the beauty obstensibly is to appeal to men. But the voice of the magazine isn’t “male” saying “Ladies go do this.”
It’s a homosocial experience. And it’s eroticized as well. The images are often erotic. Weird.
I also should point out that the phallocentrism concerning the debates about male frontal nudity also adds evidence that women aren’t as appreciative of the male body as gay men are, or as men are concerning the female body.
It seems like the scrotum is ignored because women are almost universally (and unapologetically) repulsed by it and therefore it becomes a real limit to female aesthetic appreciation. However, I know lots of gay men who love balls and are even more turned on by them than they are the penis.
and also, for 40+ yrs men and women have tried to market the nude male body to women, on and offline – and have persistently failed to create a large market
I’m glad to read a rebuttal of the misconception that women aren’t turned on by seeing the male body. I agree with everything except the part about penis size.
I agree. I’ve had ‘em from 4″ to 15″, and average size (6′-7″) is just right for me. As for looking at them, I’m afraid I don’t spend a lot of time crotch-gazing when I walk down the street. (Once in a while a woody will catch my eye, though, and that’s always gratifying.) When I’m looking at nude men, I look at the whole package, as it were. A tight sac is just as important as a comely dick.
Men’s bodies are gorgeous! This x infinity.
“You’ve undoubtedly noticed, perhaps approvingly, that you’re more likely to see naked women than naked men in movies unless they’re the meaningful, artistic, or plot-essential nude scenes involving concentration camp victims or emotionally distraught older males revealing their surprising vulnerability.”
Utterly untrue. In fact, it’s completely the opposite. The main difference is that female nudity is utilized for artistic, serious, or purely sexual purposes while male nudity is nearly always presented as comedic and a cue to laugh at the man.
“In the previously mentioned study of British men and their penises, the men were found to be of “normal” size when they were measured erect. Somehow, I have a feeling it wasn’t their erect penis they were concerned with, but their soft, un-engorged penis. It isn’t the erect penis we see in jeans, sweat pants, Speedos, and underwear. It isn’t the erect penis we first see (unless it’s early in the relationship) when you take off your clothes. When we look down as we pass you on the street, we’re hoping for something we can see, something that presses against your jeans, something that makes us say, “Oh…”
It doesn’t mean we don’t love your soft penis no matter what size it is, it just means you might catch us turning for a second look (or staring) when a bigger one happens by. It’s nothing personal. It’s just how some women’s visual stimulation works. (Thank you, Nicole Beland.) While we should certainly avoid being obvious and rude about it, we hope you’ll take our interest, even if it’s a very fleeting interest in another man’s pants, as evidence that whoever started the “men’s bodies are funny-looking” trend is full of shit.”
If the exact same passage were written by a man about women, describing how he loves to check out women’s firm asses or how tight their vaginas are in public, the flock of feminists here would be all over it as horribly misogynistic and objectifying. The Good Men Project absolutely would not publish such an article, yet this is approved. Sigh.
I appreciate what you’re saying, and your point is taken, but where’s the line between a person checking out another person and dangerous objectification? As a feminist, I can say at least from my own perspective that I can’t expect anything different than for men to look at women they find attractive, and for women to look at men they find attractive. Many men like breasts – it’s a fact. It doesn’t make them sexist to look, it makes them human. Many women like penises – it doesn’t mean we’re objectifying men when we look at their penises. Objectification occurs when we regard a person as an instrument (or object) and nothing more. This article isn’t about doing any such thing (and it’s possible that because this in excerpted from a longer work, the larger context – appreciation and love for men as people – is somewhat lost [my fault]). It’s simply about saying “please don’t believe it when you hear that crap about your bodies being funny looking.”
Yes feminists use “objectification” to beat men over the head with, but don’t you think energy is better spent on discrediting the word (I will probably see a ghost before I personally see an instance of objectification) rather than giving Sylvia crap? My problem with this article is that is pretends that women are hyper visual like men are… which so not true. It goes right for the balls, by playing the body image role reversal game, but most men know women aren’t as “size queeny” as the author posits.
I think it’s convenient to believe men are the only visual creatures, but it just isn’t true. As support:
From an Emory University study published published in the journal Hormones and Behavior:
“[Emory psychologist Kim] Wallen and his former graduate student, Heather Rupp, showed still photos of couples having sex to 30 women and 15 men between the ages of 23 and 28. Each was rigged up with a high-tech eye-tracking device to measure where his or her gaze went first, and how long it stayed there.
Men went straight to the face and lingered awhile, but most of the women were more interested in the sexual activity.”
We may not look at things the exact same way you do, but that doesn’t make us any less visually interested (or stimulated).
Sylvia,
This study may not indicate what you think it does NECESSARILY.
It reminds me of the studies showing female praying mantices (or spiders) eat their mate during mating, and that this was an evolved trait for the male to jump headlong into the arms of death as the price for passing on his genes.
The truth is when these creatures mate in the wild the males bring a captured bug for the female to feast on. The concept that a creature would evolve into death through mating rather than evolve a method for multiple copulations is just silly.
This study doesn’t show the prevalence for men vs women to seek out looks at bodies during the proces of (say) an entire day or week.
Similarly, I don’t think this test may show what you think. I remember reading the same research. But, (if I remember correctly) when women looked at (single target picture) nude men they looked immediately to his crotch, but not so for women.
This may be an evolved instinct as engorgement would be a much easier way for women to tell if a man is aroused. Men have no such visual cues, so they look for facial cues.
I have also read research that showed men looking at pictures of beautiful women have brain scans similar to a heroine addict getting a fix.
I am just a layman, but from the little bit of knowledge I have acquired, the factoid that men are more visual seems to be an ironclad truth.
Convenient? For whom?
I’d rather spend 2 hours in the gym than 10 hours behind my desk, but sadly women are more interested in what I do/drive than how much i weigh.
And 45 people? I count 45 people as good friends and I don’t mean Facebook friends. That’s really not enough specimens. And measuring response to PHOTOS of couples having SEX is not the same as measure reaction to BODIES (clothed or nude).
In the previously mentioned study of British men and their penises, the men were found to be of “normal” size when they were measured erect. Somehow, I have a feeling it wasn’t their erect penis they were concerned with, but their soft, un-engorged penis. It isn’t the erect penis we see in jeans, sweat pants, Speedos, and underwear. It isn’t the erect penis we first see (unless it’s early in the relationship) when you take off your clothes. When we look down as we pass you on the street, we’re hoping for something we can see, something that presses against your jeans, something that makes us say, “Oh”.
If that’s the case then why the fretting over penis size when it comes time for sex? Its a matter of being large in the bedroom when it come time to please her. I know this sounds weird (and you may be thinking “but he wants to look large on the street to draw her into the bedroom”) but there is some logic to the thought of just surprising a woman with a large penis, pleasing her, and then depending on her word of mouth advertising to build your reputation. In short feeding the ego. Its one thing to advertise yourself. Its quite another to have someone else advertise for you.
I think what’s being illustrated here is that there’s more variety in women’s sexual turn-ons than there are in men’s. Sylvia, apparently likes naked men, likes penises, and is considerably responsive to visual stimuli. Good for her; I am certain she is telling the truth. I am equally certain, however, that this does not describe all women. There is a substantial percentage of women who, while they may not actively dislike the naked male body, is much more turned on by other things, such as a man’s personality, accomplishments, how much attention the man pays to her, what kind of attention he gives her – how he makes her feel about her OWN naked body, etc.
In short, women love to claim solidarity on these matters, hence Sylvia’s casual use of “we,” but it just ain’t the case. What I’d like to know is how many – what percent – of women share Sylvia’s tastes?
It may be the same percentage as men who don’t really turn on immediately at non contextualized images of women. I’d say the bell curve would look like that.
I can only speak for myself, but I can be (and have been) turned on by wide combinations of things. A beautiful body and amazing face is great, but if there isn’t just a little bit else to get the spark going…
I dated a nearly perfect looking man once. We dated for a short while and the sex was ok. I kept thinking I should want him more. And he was gorgeous. But he wasn’t very interesting. I’ve also dated incredibly interesting and facinating men that weren’t all that attractive and again…not much sexual chemistry.
I’ve also felt intense lust for average men with average personalities. WTF?
it is for me, and I imagine for most people (at least in real life) a sweet spot issue. Where the looks and the personality and some kind of biological pheromone magic woo-woo potion merge in such a way you are just knocked down with lust.
Images are one thing. I can project all over Cillian Murphy’s face, or some models’ body. But they might be stone cold boring in person.
Maybe more men than women don’t care about that sweet spot, and would be happy to fuck anything that looks good. In theory? In practice? Dunno.
Reading this piece made me rethink how I view male bodies. I used to make throwaway comments about how women are generally more attractive than men, and now I think I’ve been unfair. There was no need for me to have such a knee-jerk reaction about male nudity. More sex-positive portrayals of dudes are a win for everyone, I guess.
I agree with you whole heartedly. We not only rob a beautiful male body of its dignity, as well as our male friend who is in it, we rob ourselves of a great deal of potentially liberating pleasure at discovering its sensuality. Desiring and indulging can be just as much fun as being desired and indulged upon. It’s twice the fun!
Julie:
Yeah, I think about this a lot. So, for me, and this is likely TMI, were I to watch traditional porn, it would be male on male. Because I find the men beautiful and because I find the sex hot and I find porn actresses to be generally unlike me to the point of alienation.
Make sense. I have an older aunt (we’re talking mid 60s) who is into guy/guy porn. I’ve never guessed her motives and just presumed “well if she wants penis in her porn it makes sense for her to be into guy/guy stuff”. But what you say here may play into it as well.
i don’t believe you:
There’s a erotic reason behind the fact that cum shots land on the face… as well as ass and tits.The female face… especially the mouth and eyes.. is very arousing. Men respond erotically to that body part and so it will remain present in porn. That is also why all that lipstick and eye makeup you guys purchase will remain a big seller for women.
True. I think that part of the reason people presume that the motive behind facials is humiliation and degredation is because of their belief that semen is a dirty thing.
Julie:
so interesting! Do you think that men (on average) seek out versions of their ideal woman? Or more like….if they usually date slim blonds they’d look for buxom brunettes? I ask because I rarely see women that look like me, medium height, medium length hair, small breasts. And I rarely see the type of man that turns me on in straight porn.
I think men do seek out version of their ideal woman…its just that because of gender roles men are led to believe in a narrow band of women that can fit that ideal. I think this shows itself in the the fact that despite the typical “porn woman” being small with large perky breasts, narrow waist, blond hair, and young there are a lot of geners of porn that go very much against that idea.
i don’t believe you:
Ever heard of Nina Hartley?
One of my favorites to watch! She is definitely proof that a woman doesn’t have to look like a “porn woman”.
The more I think about it I think this article should have been titled “Your body isn’t ugly” or something like that.
Yeah, I find watching the women in porn (mostly) alienating. I don’t look or behave much like that so it’s like….who do I respond to? Also, as I’ve said before, there isn’t much humor or good natured tenderness in a lot of modern porn, especially the gonzo kind.
Also, as I’ve said before, there isn’t much humor or good natured tenderness in a lot of modern porn, especially the gonzo kind.
Probably because porn is often not about humor or tenderness. Its about sex plain and simple.
“Don’t have a partner? Here watch this video of other people having sex and you can get off vicariously through them!”
I think sex can be about a lot of things. I mean it doesn’t have to be about tenderness certainly. But at the minimum (speaking for me, not for anyone else), if the people on screen don’t seem to be even liking each other), I might as well be watching clockwork parts move together.
I can agree with that but because of the way male sexuality is constructed the “clockwork action” is works for a lot a of guys. And then there are guys who once wanted something more but due to a lack of success in the realm of dating/relationships/sex they seem to have “accepted” that satisfaction from watching “clockwork action” is good enough for them or, at worst, all they deserve.
I can see that. Thanks for the conversation about it!
I’ve been thinking about this after I posted my first comment and realized that I’m typically not even comfortable saying the word penis aloud, let alone seeing one. I think it’s because as a kid, it was my understanding that private parts were private, to be neither seen nor spoken of. Penis was like a swear word – something I’d get in trouble for if my parents heard me say it. Not that my parents are particularly prudish, they just didn’t really handle the whole sex subject very well (bless them for their efforts, though). I don’t think I learned about the words vagina, clitoris or vulva until it came time for sex ed in school. But even now, as a sexually active and supposedly mature adult in a committed relationship, my tongue trips over the word penis, and I avert my eyes when I see one (except my husband – although I looked away the first time I saw his, too, when I glimpsed it by accident through the front of his boxers WAY back when we were teenagers). I can type it just fine, but if we were all sitting in the same room talking about this aloud, I don’t think I’d be saying as much.
Go figure – at least now that I’m aware of it, I can pay more attention to it and work on being more comfortable with masculine sexuality and the language used to talk about it.
WOW. This post struck a nerve. Funny commentary on our society. Are we debating balls?
Good article. I have to disagree about breast size though. Bigger is not better when it comes to breasts. Women seem to think that D and E cups are what men desire, and while that may be true of some men, most men I’ve spoken with prefer breasts that are B to C cup.
All of the beasts I’ve drooled over the most have been either a B or C cup. So know that girls, we want a woman with huge breasts about as much as you want to date a guy with a 12″ dong. It might be interesting to try it once, but you’d probably prefer one that’s 6-8″.
This article is a farce. It’s freaking baloney.
Women only pay lip service to the beauty of men when men confront women about their lack of fiery passion. This article is no exception.
But left to their own devices, the average woman will verbally express far more enthusiasm for buying new shoes and for CHOCOLATE than for good-looking men.
I’m sorry you’ve been hurt badly enough to become so cynical. I hope you have experiences in the future that restore your faith in womankind. Not all of us are shallow and affectionless.
Yes, I like cute shoes and chocolate is a wonderful thing. Would I prefer them over a beautiful and loving man in my bed? Hardly! No contest there, I assure you.
Good luck to you.
Hey, don’t knock chocolate.
I may be a virgin, but I seriously doubt sex with a woman could ever be nearly as fulfilling as some of the Belgian shit I’ve tasted, not to mention those Aztec wheels with the cinnamon. And don’t even get me started on pastry, ’cause there’s no way any human being could ever be as beautiful or meaningful as a bear claw….
Seriously, why do you think Hercule Poirot never had sex? He was always sipping Belgian hot chocolate, so he knew it would just be a distraction.
It’s ok to be a female doctor that laughs at a patient with a small penis.
What she doesn’t know is that it’s small because she scares him,and it’s not his job to be large whilst with his doctor.
This is the matriarchy she so desires, where men are rated in all aspects first by penis size, including health care.
It’s a real treat to submit to prostrate exams with this emasculating woman.
So all female doctors are rooting for matriarchy now?
BTW
There is no such thing as emasculation.
Yes it does. Its often over used and incorrectly used but the idea of a person that tries to belittle a man via attacking his masculinity is alive and well.
My opinion might be in the minority, but I’d just love to see more VARIETY of nude people in film, presented without shame or derision. Male, female, intersex, non-binary, large, small, average, dark, tan, pale, covered in freckles, et cetera.
@Stefanie: “I’d just love to see more VARIETY of nude people in film”
YES!
Give us nude people, any kind, make it a natural thing (IT IS natural!).
It’s about time stopping this hypocrisy on the screen: violence is portrayed as “ok”, sex and nude bodies as “icky”. It’s the stupidest thing ever.
Bodies are beautiful, sex is beautiful, violence is awful – violence is the true obscenity.
In my experience, women are all over the map on this topic. Some women say they like it, others insist they dont, and others are totally indifferent. Further, their response is highly conditional, for or against, on the context in which the male form is presented and the man it is attached to.
Still, I can’t but wonder if the desires of those expressing interest comes from a feminist believe that men and women are the same in all things, including sexual predilection and that somehow, possessing a mans weakness is a strength. While conversely, those expressing disinterest are exercising a traditional view of female sexual power, where total control over sex requires invulnerability to external arousal stimulus, especially stimulus controlled by men, the supposed subject of a women’s sexual power.
I don’t pretend to know the answers, nor do I think these are fully conscience forces. For what it’s worth, I don’t believe interested women are a large group. Most of the demand for the male form appears to be driven by gay men, a group not larger than 5 or 10 percent of the male population. And, I cannot accept that gay men are somehow privileged to hetero women.
Interesting view. You could hash this many different ways.
I think another prevalent factor is that women are MUCH MORE OFTEN turned on by BEING DESIRED themselves. The times that women express lust in a total stranger man (as men do for women in photographs, or in public) seems to be a common truth.
Of course there could be an issue of social pressure that women pay a higher social stigma for expressing their lust, but I don’t think this explains all of it. In my view, the idea that women are much harder to turn on by lusting after a stranger man (compared to men lusting after a just-met women) is true. It also seems to be an undeniable fact that the #1 way women are turned on is by being the object of a man’s lust (again when we’re talking about strangers, not familiar lovers).
Love men’s and women’s naked bodies. Not all, but many. Gives me great pleasure to see them.
Hullo Sylvia,
I’m so glad to finally see somebody debunking the myth about women not being visually turned on by men’s bodies. Despite a lot of evidence since the advent of third-wave feminism that women are just as turned on visually by the male body as men are by the female body, and that the male body is in no way aesthetically inferior to the female body, it is sad that so many guys are still desperately clinging on to the patriarchal mentality that women prefer it when a man covers up his body from head to toe, and are repulsed if a man shows a bit more skin than is expected. It doesn’t help with all the running dogs of the patriarchy, the guardians of male dignity, rambling on about how men need to cover up to be sexy:
” Guys that wear short-shorts are typically homosexuals (think The Village People-YMCA) or yuppie up-tights with zero fashion sense.I don’t know how you figure that longer/knee long+ shorts being “gansta” or “rapper” influenced, that is a typical upper middle class suburban assumption.I am now over 30, was never “gansta” influenced and still feel more comfortable with at least knee length shorts! I don’t have chicken legs,so check that off your list as well.Never had a problem getting women wearing them as I have dated 2 models and numerous other very attractive women.
… Enjoy feeling secure in your little world of tight snug fitting clothing, maybe someday everyone can be, look, think and dress just like you. Guys should really all be parting their hair to the side and wearing 3 button high collar shirts, even when at home with their Stepford Wives.”
(Excerpt from a 30-ish anonymous male comment)
“They (some men) wear tank tops all the time (the ones they call ”wife beaters”)… or those sleeveless T shirts. These are the same guys that wear Under Armour shirt to the gym (hint… all of us look much more muscular in those shirts, but they are really corny). Make sure and wear fashionable clothes that ”happen” to show off your nice physique. Maybe a fitted short sleeve vintage T shirt instead of a tank top. Wearing clothes that are blatantly meant to show off muscle mass make you look totally cheesy. Show off your body in the context of ”good fashion”.
But see what he says about women’s fashion:
… ‘I think women are too conservative at times. There are times when it is appropriate to wear skimpy clothing, especially if you are in great shape. You won’t look good forever, so enjoy it while you can!”
(Another straight male blogger; note the contradiction between his 2 paragraphs; while women who show off their bodies have “good fashion sense”, men who show off theirs just look “cheesy”)
I mean, that mentality would have been understandable in the 1950s, because it was assumed that women had no interest whatsoever in the male body, and that they had sex to please their partners. The idea stems from the notion that “since I (the straight guy) don’t find the male body to be sexually stimulating, then how can women find it to be sexually stimulating? I so feel for the majority of straight guys who have no sense of being physically desired in the same way they desire women. Myself? I always knew that women found men’s bodies attractive, growing up in a liberal progressive household with mom as the head.
We need more female filmmakers especially in America! That would fix it, finally!!!