Danny has a few things to say to the creators of the “Gay Test” meme…
I’m betting that more than likely you have seen some variation of the “Gay Test”. The basic premise of it is to take some sort of image of an attractive woman, point out something that is considered to be of less importance than attractive women (and apparently EVERYTHING ELSE is less important than an attractive woman) and declare that if a guy notices that other thing before noticing the attractive woman then it’s a sign that he is gay, which is apparently bad news.
Yea I’m sure you can see how this is jacked up on so many levels right? Don’t worry I’m going to go over them.
For the most part these “tests” depict women that fit the bill of being conventionally attractive. White, thin, young, blond, large breasts and butts, revealing clothing, possibly in a sexually suggestive position (of a notable exception are the ones that are based on anime where the women change from white to Asian, the hair can be any color under the sun, and the laws of probability, physics, and reasonable comfort are suspended when it comes to breasts).
I can’t speak for everyone but having been in conversation with other guys about what they find attractive (versus just watching guys on tv and movies) I know that there is quite the range on what is “attractive”. There is plenty more than what I listed above that guys find attractive in women (hell to fit my own tastes I’d have to change almost every item in that range I listed above).
However it’s hard to see that because as guys we are raised to believe that that narrow band of traits is what makes a woman attractive and a lot of us eat it up with no question (it took me a while to question it and decide my tastes for myself), so I can understand why other folks may think that we are all about that short list of “hot” traits, to an extent.
With that in mind I think the idea of not finding one specific set of traits attractive meaning that you are gay is pretty ridiculous. Are we really supposed to believe that such women represent all of male sexuality that includes attraction to women (because it’s not like all male sexuality can be tossed into one of the camps of “gay” or “straight”)?
Speaking of different types of male sexuality that brings me to my next problem. Let’s take a moment to move away from guys that are attracted to women not represented in those pictures and look at guys whose attractions are not firmly set in leaning towards women or not leaning towards women.
Based on the image presented one passes if they notice the woman first, affirming their heterosexuality, or one fails if they do not notice the woman first, affirming their homosexuality. I think in this day and age most people can see that there is a lot more going on in the realm of sexuality than same gender and opposite gender attraction. Such guys are being pushed into either the gay or straight box, with no mind to how they really get down.
And then of course there is the way gay men are regarded.
When it comes to these tests gay guys are not being simply erased but are being cast as “failures” at male sexuality. According to this test a guy is gay if they don’t notice the woman first. Let’s be clear that “notice” is coated in sexual overtone where it means they notice her and want to have sex with her. Well a gay guy (more than likely) won’t be interested in having sex with a woman even if he notices her, first or otherwise. And supposedly that means it’s time to pull out the red pen and give those guys a failing grade and some “bad news” about their homosexuality?
Which of course leads me to asking, what exactly is so “bad” about being gay that it means one has failed at male sexuality?
So to sum things up:
Noticing the woman in such pictures first? Cool.
Finding said woman sexually attractive? Cool.
Propping a limited variety of women up as the standard of what is straight and what is gay? Not cool.
Making homosexuality out to be bad? Not cool.
And to the people creating and administering these “tests” I have to say something. Let me be clear that I’m not necessarily pointing these things out in some effort to make you out to be attackers of male sexuality that doesn’t fit into the small subset you seem to suggest be required for a “passing grade”. I just want to let you know what your tests say about guys that may “fail”.
I found my self gay after taking a funny quiz of 30 question. The test http://illnessquiz.com/gay-test/ can tell you whether you are gay
This fag test is fail. After staring at the chick for a while you will inevitably look around the picture noticing the ship. Now if it said you noticed the ship first…
I have found them pretty harmless, if stupid. Just be glad you don’t see to many tests like http://vistriai.com/gaytest/ that actually purport to determine if you are gay.
Sometimes I find it hard to define what sexually attractive actually means for someone on a personal level. I usually find the women in such pictures attractive but I do not know why. Maybe I’ve been influenced / socialized to find such attributes as described (especially a sexually suggestive position, revealing clothing) attractive. But maybe I really like this type of women and it is not a socially constructed norm that I’m following; it is nearly impossible to say. All I feel in the end is that I’m attracted; I cannot decide not to feel it ;). I sometimes worry… Read more »
Speaking of my own personal level when it comes to attraction I have to say that it starts with internal (and usually silent) thought. Give yourself the chance to ask yourself if you really find it attractive or if you think so because you’re told that is what you are supposed to find attractive. When doing this for myself there was a long period of time where I really wouldn’t speak up much on what I find attractive because I was still working on it (but I admit I was giving the expected responses, almost like autopilot). But after a… Read more »
I don’t think it’s even meant to be funny , it’s just an excuse to show pictures of hot women juxtaposed against other cool stuff like battleships.
Guys don’t need an excuse to show pictures of hot women to their friends. I even had a straight woman give me a picture of a hot woman once. She found it and thought I’d like it. A friend of mine used to get porn magazines and videos from a woman he knew who cleaned hotel rooms. She knew him and thought he’d like them. He ended up giving them away at his bachelor party. His wife (not the woman who gave them to him) didn’t want him to keep them. If a guy is giving a friend a gay… Read more »
How about, It’s a joke. It’s funny. What’s funnier is the likelihood somebody will take it seriously.
I find the “it’s a joke, so don’t take it seriously” thing to be bizarrely incomprehensible. Jokes are funny because they say something about the universe. “This room is dirtier than Paris Hilton’s vagina” is a joke. “Unicorn house tiger sunset” is not. Now, maybe for one speaker, the joke is that A) Paris Hilton is sexually active. B) Sexually active women are shameful. Maybe, in another context, the joke is satirizing people who think that sexually active women are shameful. But the jokes an individual or a society makes say just as much, if not more, about the way… Read more »
Or it’s just supposed to be laughed at, not interpreted as a serious statement of how things should be.
I’m bisexual, and I “pass” their test. Does that mean I fail at being gay? My husband will be sad to hear it.
Thanks for the breakdown, Danny. Well done.
Oh I was thinking about such possibilities and I just couldn’t get it right in my head. What I want to know now is what implications would this have for a lesbian…
What about the implication for all women, gay or straight, being juxtaposed with an inanimate object? There’s another angle.
A valid question Synergy.
One could just as easily see this as trying to raise women up on a pedestal, making the sexual pursuit of them (or at least sexual interest) them more important than anything and everything else just as the juxtaposition you mention.
Don’t be scared to add your own angle to this discussion.
Seeing the battleship before the person in the foreground does suggest an unnatural fascination with objects.
Hahaha, I’ve been trying to think of a joke about how the picture stacks the deck by sticking a human subject in front. But then, the first thing I noticed was the hat, and I have no clue what that says about me. Maybe it’s the color scheme?
The hat?! By all that’s stereotyped, you’re either gay or seriously into fetish wear. 😉
My best guess is that it’s because I had to scroll down to see the whole picture, so the hat was the first complete subject I saw. But that’s all speculation! Maybe I’m a gay paraphile who just doesn’t know it yet! (Attracted to male inanimate objects…?)