Dear John: My Neighbor Is A Pervert

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About John Simpson,

John is a middle-aged family man from Providence. If you learn from your mistakes, he’s brilliant. His column runs regularly on


  1. As an artist I have taken many life drawing classes with nude models. If the model is attractive, then yes a few sexual thoughts pass through your brain. But it’s a very formal, academic setting, and drawing is very focused brain work. You should not assume the room will be filled with “horny college guys ogling and making mediocre-to-bad paintings”. It will be filled with art students of both genders studying human anatomy and concentrating on drawing or painting.

    • I agree with Eshto; it’s not a very sexually thrilling environment. The model is usually only nude during the drawing session at which time the students will be more focused on what the charcoal is doing to the paper than the model’s naughty bits; the rest of the time he or she wears a robe, sari, or other piece of loose clothing. Sure some sexual thoughts may pass through some of the students’ heads (guys and girls,) that’s nature and really not all that different from seeing an attractive guy or girl on the street. Will there be some students that are immature and childish, yes, and they tend to be the minority.

      Also, John, shame on you for this:
      “When a guy is in a room with a woman whose clothes are off, for the guy, that’s a sexual situation.”

      Stereotype much?

      • John Smith says:

        From my expirince the once that are there just to draw “nuudy pics” and look at “neked chicks” get weeded out long before you get to life drawing in college because the lectures are well aware that it will attract some of “that type”. Allot of time is spent drawing very boring things for two reasons, one it weeds out those ideots and two drawing the human body take allot of skill.

        Teachers don’t want people who are just there to look at naked people because they are a waste of time and give the class a bad name.

  2. Paul Norberg says:

    Dear John
    I disagree that any time that a woman has her clothes off in a room that has men it is a sexual situation. For many, I’m sure that you’re correct, however that is the limitation of the individual and not the situation. However the blanket assumption I feel is off the mark. Your response to “Drawing The Line” control and communication issues is spot on in my opinion though. He is not approaching the conversation as an equal, and he is only reinforcing stereotypical patriarchal bullshit. Thank you for having this dialogue. Keep up the good work.

  3. “When a guy is in a room with a woman whose clothes are off, for the guy, that’s a sexual situation.”
    So, does this apply to doctors too? Because geez, that would mean it should be illegal for men to be doctors or, god forbid, gynecologists to treat women.

  4. John Simpson says:

    Yes, this applies to doctors, too. I’m certainly not suggesting this is PRIMARILY a sexual situation, but anyone who thinks the typical male physician doesn’t have sexual thoughts at times during a medical exam has a circumscribed view of male sexuality. I had a physician friend many years ago who admitted as much in private among friends. These are simply fleeting reflexive thoughts – they do not compromise a physician’s competence in any way or influence his ability to provide care. I’m not sure why that would make it illegal for men to be doctors. Thanks for reading and commenting.


    • Yikes, this is why I prefer to see female doctors!

      When I was in my early 20′s, I had a gynecological exam from a youngish male doctor who seemed to be attracted to me. He did absolutely nothing inappropriate but I got the distinct impression that he found me attractive and that the exam caused him to FEEL something inappropriate. He was just a little too friendly afterwards and seemed nervous and even slightly upset. He was a very nice doctor and totally professional yet I cannot tell you how incredibly creeped out I was by this experience.

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