TW for child molestation.
Eric Bodenweiser, Republican candidate for the Delaware State Senate and member of the Delaware Family Policy Council, was arrested for allegedly having unlawful sex acts with a 13-year-old boy.
Anti-sex ideas don’t work. We have tried the “shame people for having sex that we don’t like and then there won’t be rape!” tactic again and again and again. It does not fucking work. Homophobia, sex-negativity, slut-shaming… we’ve tried it. And time after time the very perpetrators of those beliefs end up being the rapists and abusers, and the shame around sexuality hurts the very survivors they say they’re going to protect. The only thing that will reduce the rate of rape is developing a consent culture. A culture in which boundaries are always respected, in which consent matters both inside and outside of the bedroom, in which “no” is a complete sentence.
Without excusing Mr. Bodenweiser’s heinous acts, they are the natural outcome of his attraction to men and his beliefs about homosexuality. After all, if gay men are sick and evil, if many of them molest children, if the very act of being attracted to people of the same gender is something God loathes and a sign that you were damaged… if you believe you’re evil already, you might end up molesting a thirteen-year-old. After all, you already risk being an outcast in your community and separated from your God if you act upon your desires. It’s not like molesting children makes it any worse… and the kid might not speak up.
It’s horrible. I do not condone it. And the rape culture here is something I intend to fight.
The other way doesn’t help much, either. See Frank Lombard at Duke. Not much ink on this outrage, there being so many conflicting narratives nobody knows what to think except that the kid in question seems to be an expendable stage prop.
Having known four very young rapists all too well, I cannot conclude that they were/are gay and or ever once considered what they were doing was a homosexual act. My studies of many many child sexual abusers and their cases, I still cannot conclude any correlation between homosexuality and same-gender rape. Ozy. You are on a mega-vien of reality with the “consent” focus. I just wonder if you are on the same page I am and the 50 states’ laws regarding consent. Namely that “children cannot consent. they can only comply.” Reasons for that plank in child rape law include… Read more »
I had a similar line of though too. If sex in general (or rather non-marital sex) is considered to be a bad thing in of itself, then rape can only be slightly worse. The the weight of the ethical consideration of consent is diminished in one’s decision making process, it matters less. According to some, touching someone with your penis is “taking advantage” regardless of their response, so doing it without consent isn’t particularly worse. Obviously conservatives recoil from the reality of rape just as much as liberals. However they do seem to believe in a version of sexual morality… Read more »
Most homosexual paedophiles don’t think of themselves as gay. In the same way that rapist prison guards aren’t gay. It is about power and abuse, not sexual orientation.
I agree with you about consent culture though.
Ozy – I think you may be getting a little carried away and could do with a break from the issues of sexual assault and related.
You seem to be mixing everything from sexuality to politics in one big melting pot and then coating everything in molten Rape Culture. Time to take a break.
Seriously, Ozy? I thought better of you. They are not the natural result of his beliefs on homosexuality-plus-him-being-gay. Even if molesting kids won’t ‘make it worse’ morally for him… Which I don’t think that I can agree with… He’d have to ALSO be attracted to thirteen year old boys in the first place. His beliefs on homosexuality, regardless of how strongly held, would not make him believe that thirteen year olds are attractive if he’s gay. I’ve got some friends from the Evangelical community. Including many who for some time were coming to terms with homosexuality, and were still sure… Read more »
There are many, many, many child molesters who are not pedophiles, and not attracted to children. Many child molesters – like all rapists – do it because they can. It’s convenient, they have a way to do it, and they want to. I hate this perpetration that all child molesters are pedophiles, and that all pedophiles are child molesters. Child molestation is an action – something that is chosen by the perpetrator. Pedophilia is something that people are born with, and can control when given the right tools and support systems. A child molester is most likely to be someone… Read more »
Not sure why the idea that child molestation can be nothing more than sexualized violence (like any other act of rape) is such a no-no for you. I’m sure we all know or have heard of adults who take their marriage or job frustrations out on their children/students/underage charges, right? Because they’re smaller, weaker, and not as able to defend their right to be treated with respect as an adult might be? Same principle: extreme cowardice. There’s also another psychological phenomenon at work in a lot of these kinds of cases, especially those involving Evangelicals because of their extreme focus… Read more »
Molestation of children, just like any other form of rape, is about POWER, not sexual attraction. Sexual attraction doesn’t even have to be there at all.
A pederast is simply exerting the unnatural degree of control he desires, over the people he has access to and can easily bully–children. Pederasts are not necessarily pedophiles, nor vice-versa.
And your point is? I don’t see how that has anything to do with whatI said. Perhaps I was upset. I know people who are homophobic, who think homosexuality is totally depraved. Some of them are gay. Many of them are gay. In fact, most of the homophobic people I Have met, I have met through my discussions of theology – As an openly gay Christian, they often want to discuss things like that with me. They are very concerned about the idea that they will want to molest children. They do not want to be child molesters. You’re right.… Read more »