October Broke Me but I’m Still Standing

October has been one of the hardest months of my life. It feels like everything hit at once.

Two of my close friends lost their parents. Grief has been everywhere around me. And then it reached my home too.

My grandpa was diagnosed with cancer.

My mother is also unwell, she suddenly lost feeling in her feet, and we are waiting to hear what the doctors say.

Yesterday, I spent the whole day at the hospital for my grandpa’s check-up.
Doctors are suggesting surgery. But he is already weak and has high blood pressure. Even the thought of an operation feels heavy.

there is a alot of emotions in hospitals, ppl born here, live and die as well.

places like these give us hope and more reason to grateful.

— sush (@2sush) October 15, 2025

I don’t know what’s going to happen from here. Sometimes I can see the road ahead, but I don’t want to.

Right now, I just want to be there with him. I sit beside him. We talk a little. Mostly, sit in silence. And that silence feels louder than anything else.

In between all this, I check on my mom too. She has different health issues but can recover. She’s strong. She’s only 53. That gives me some hope.

October has tested me in ways I never imagined. Hospitals became my second home. My mind feels tired. But I’m learning to hold on.

To take one day at a time. To still believe that things can get better.

Maybe November will bring some light. Till then, I’m staying close to my people.

Because right now, love is the only medicine I can give.

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This post was previously published on Sushila Devi’s blog.

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