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We often hear it — in Italy, especially, but far beyond as well
“A truly virile man should have three women.”
One for the home. One for the fire.
One for the fantasy.
It sounds poetic. A Greek tragedy reenacted on WhatsApp. But this isn’t a myth. It’s a system.
Not legal. Not official.
But alive. Intimate. Structured. Whispered.
And — sometimes — celebrated between two glasses of vintage prosecco.
1. The Myth of Three: A Script That Looks Like Freedom
In certain male circles — power, prestige, performance — a silent template circulates. Unwritten, but deeply wired:
- One official partner: the spouse or equivalent. The face of loyalty, stability, social respect.
- One passionate partner: hidden, intense, magnetic.
- One or more ephemeral partners: emotional or physical bonuses — frictionless, low stakes.
It’s not romanticized. It’s operational.
A fragile equilibrium — as long as no one talks too loud.
2. A Tactical Escape Dressed as Emotional Sovereignty
This isn’t just a collective fantasy. It’s an emotional regulation system,
especially among educated, successful, high-status men:
CEOs, executives, lawyers, doctors, investors, founders, consultants, artists… Why?
Because:
- One woman rarely holds the whole spectrum — from social partner to emotional muse to erotic magnet.
- These men optimize love like they optimize profit: through diversification.
- Vulnerability is seen as reputational risk. So they compartmentalize.
Result:
- Freedom illusion — the mask of control.
- Success mirage — quantity masking absence of depth.
- Power performance — feeding the ego to soothe the void.
- Rebel fantasy — the thrill of transgression pretending to be sophistication.
→ Like an asset portfolio: stability, growth, controlled volatility.
3. When Studies Dare to Look
Statistics are discreet. The phenomenon is hidden, not absent.
- IFOP (2021): 46% of men in relationships have been unfaithful.
- In upper-class circles (Paris, Zurich, London), dating apps feed the “grey zone” — between fantasy and relief.
In private male networks (business clubs, encrypted groups), one hears:
- “She gets me like no one else.”
- “Just fun — between two long-haul flights.”
- “With my main one, I keep the image clean.”
This isn’t fringe. It’s the soft-power of accomplished masculinity.
4. The Myth Has Mutated: Subtler, Smarter, Invisible
No more logistical triple lives.
Now: emotional fragmentation. Chronological. Symbolic. Rationalized. Examples:
- The stable man with an emotional pen-pal abroad.
“We’re not doing anything wrong… but she’s the one who feeds me.”
- The one in therapy — talking about his wife — while still sleeping with his ex.
- The third explaining to his official partner that he needs sexual freedom to stay emotionally loyal.
It’s not about different addresses anymore. It’s about different narratives.
And each of them thinks he’s found his balance. But they all remain in half-formed relationships.
5. Myth, Power, and Reality: A Modern Polygamy of the Mind
So — myth or reality?
→ It’s both. And it’s dangerous.
Not a Southern cliché. Not an Italian movie.
A psychological operating system — woven deep in high-status male circles.
- The more power, the more refined the system.
- The more intelligence, the more justified the compartment.
- The more years pass… the more elegant the escape becomes.
But deep down, it’s always the same void. And one day, they’ll realize:
What they split into three was never meant to be divided.
- Discover the full EvoL-LovE philosophy: Parcours & Conférences.
Cindy Antoni — Founder of EvoL-LovE,
The House of Conscious Love Strategy for Leaders & Visionaries.
Where Intensity meets Clarity.
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