Lust, Attraction, or Love? The Truth Most People Get Wrong

Before you call it love, read this

I call it love.

Some people call it attraction, and others?

They call it lust.

But let’s be sincere…

There are just tiny differences between love, attraction and lust.

And it must even be said that the reason many people struggle is because they don’t know the distinction between them.

Although, almost everyone will disagree about this. But it’s a reality.

Probably because they usually get carried away by the magical spark we feel after they meet someone that triggers a spot in their hearts.

There’s something magical about the first moment you notice someone. Maybe it’s through a glance across the crowded room, a smile that lingers a little longer or the way the person carries themselves that pulls your attention without any warning,

All which can get your heart racing out of control, your mind spinning very fast and suddenly you see something you can’t explain.

Most of the time you call it love, and are usually too quick to tell yourself it is destiny or undeniable connection.

All because of the intensity of the feeling you feel and later, you are left confused, or I’m wondering why it didn’t work out.

This is sadly one of the reasons some people struggle, because they don’t know the difference between lust, attraction, and love.

Once they are infatuated with someone, or they develop feelings for a person, they don’t really know how to handle the pressure or intensity.

Lust

Lust is usually initiated by physical desires. It’s usually raw, strong and difficult to control.

It feels like you suddenly see someone’s body, shape or any other physical features and suddenly you start to have very fast heart races, butterflies, or you begin to think about having a touch or intimacy.

Lust doesn’t need to know anything about the person’s character, values, ambitions or personality.

The goal of lust is usually to feel, touch, have a taste or sex.

It’s usually short-lived and it vanishes as fast as it rushes in, if the physical appeal fades. Think of it as “I want you, right now.”

Attraction

This is usually broader, and like lust it can be initiated by physical features.

But it also involves psychological, mental and emotional pulls.

It might come as a result of being drawn to someone’s confidence, intelligence or humour. It’s usually about curiosity and fascination. You can get attracted to the way someone talks, how they usually react or act, how they carry themselves and all.

Attraction is usually like a magnet that wants you to get to know and spend time with people to know them better.

Attraction most of the time usually leads to love, and sometimes lust or sex or both.

It’s more about “I like being around you and I’m drawn to you.”

Love

This is the chief of them all. It’s usually slower and deeper.

It’s usually initiated by attraction and it’s over a period of time through shared experiences, trust, vulnerability and care.

It usually sees beyond the surface, the flaws, the mistakes and inconsistencies.

Love is usually patient, steady, resilient, and it sticks around when lust fades away.

And attraction cools. Love is what is when everything else is fizzled out or stripped away. Love can include both lust and attraction but it also comes with commitment, empathy, and understanding.

Necessity of Compatibility

Although love on its own can’t sustain a relationship, that’s why compatibility is necessary.

You should make sure the values of the person you’re settling with align with yours.

That’s how relationships can be more enjoyable instead of endurable.

Why Many people struggle

Basically the reason many people struggle in relationships these days can be traceable to rushing to define what they feel instead of waiting to understanding it

So, when a strong spark shows up and emotions rise, before they know it, they’ve already called it love.

But in reality, it might just be lust or simple attraction that ordinarily shouldn’t be accorded any relevance.