Tom Hiddleston was a guest on The Hollywood Reporter Roundtable. 45-year-old British Actor Tom Hiddleston stars in The Night Manager and plays God of Thunder Thor’s iconic half-brother Loki in the Marvel Cinematic Universe. Tom reprises his role as Loki in Avengers: Doomsday (2026).
As an Actor, Tom said, “I had to learn that people will idealize you and that people will demonize you, and neither picture is accurate… We’re ordinary people, who have extraordinary jobs.”
Tom said a “very wise man” once told him, “The only meaning in life is to reside as a good object in the minds of others.”
He said, “And it’s not small that you reside as a good object in the minds of others. That’s something you did for them.”
Tom said, “That’s something I’ve never tried to take for granted, or the power that you can have, or the gift that you can give. When families with young children have come up to me, and their kids are so excited, because these kids are looking at Loki, and it’s not small. And I want to live up to whatever they can see, because it’s a gift to them… I always try to honor their respect, because for them it really matters.”
What Tom said is reminiscent of the Charles Barkley Nike commercial, “I’m not a role model.” Charles said that he was not a role model for kids, because parents should be their role models. Many years later, Charles got that many kids, black and white, saw him as a role model, because he was meaningful to them. Because he was a good object in their minds. Charles was genuinely moved and touched.
In the vast narcissistic Social Media wasteland, I quizzically watch gifted young professional athletes try to define and cement their legacies. There is much better use of their time, like living life. Like doing what they love to do. Like making a difference.
I’m 64-years-old. I get that I don’t define my legacy. Others I made a difference for, shall define my legacy after I’m gone. Maybe, those for who I was meaningful, for who I was a good object in their minds, shall remember me kindly. Who knows? I just do what I love for as long as I can. Aikido is the great love of my life.
The late Mizukami Sensei taught me to be of service and make a difference for others. In Aikido, Sensei said, “Wait it out. Enter the attack. Take a glancing blow if you have to. You’re not always going to get away scot-free. It’s one time.” That wasn’t only about the bigger stronger man attacking me. I take a risk, take a hit for what’s meaningful to me. That’s the possibility of having a meaningful life.
The purpose of Aikido is to release my fear. The safest place to be is under the attack, in the danger. I apply the Aikido technique to myself, not to the attacker. O-Sensei Morihei Ueshiba said, “True victory is victory over oneself.” Really, I’m my greatest opponent, my greatest enemy. It’s me against me.
I hold my position under the attack, in the danger. Make my timing. Open up. I let go my fear inside that I’m not good enough over, and over, and over again. My fear inside as 8-year-old Jon, who was scared as hell of Dad. Although that fear inside never completely dissolves, I let go more of my fear. I’m quiet inside. I find peace. I pass that on to others. That’s meaningful.
I work on myself, not on others. When I work on myself that creates the space for others to work on themselves, for them to let go of their fear inside. They’re the only ones, who can do that. Ishibashi Sensei taught me that I work on myself to raise everyone’s level. We bring everyone up with us. That’s the training. We all become greater together.
A couple years ago, my friend Brian texted that he was coming to Los Angeles for work. He wanted to train at the Dojo. He asked if I was going to be around. I texted, “Yes.” I’m Godan (5th degree black belt). Brian, who’s 15 years younger, is Nidan (2nd degree black belt). I taught Brian back when he trained for Shodan (1st degree black belt). Brian is very good in Aikido. He’s a good man.
At the Dojo, hulking 6’ 1” Brian hugged old 5’ 3” me. I got it. I mean something to Brian. I’m the good object that resides in his heart and mind. Brian too, is the good object that resides in my heart and mind. It’s not small.
Old students I’ve taught over the years, sometimes return to the Dojo to visit or train. We hug. We talk. We catch up with life. I open up. I let them in. I’m the ordinary man, who contributed to extraordinary people. That’s not small. It’s an honor.
They keep me honest. I work on myself, not on others. I try to be the best man that I can be. Because it matters to them. Because it matters to me. Because they matter to me. It’s not small.
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Photo: iStock
