What Should You Look for in a Romantic Partner?

I met a man while I was out watching one of the World Cup games. He was handsome, funny, and charming. A little too charming. He knew it made me apprehensive.

I didn’t trust him.

He was full of too many compliments.

But he was smart, interesting, and a good conversationalist. We were all there to watch the game. He asked my friend and I to tell him what we were looking for in a man.

We went for the basics.

We’re talking core decency, values, and personality traits.

A man who is kind, empathetic, caring, honest, thoughtful, generous, and so on. And of course, the zestier attributes of life. A man that is fun, funny, spontaneous, adventurous, yada, yada.

You get the point.

It was detailed.

It was all true.

I couldn’t help but think about a recent interaction that I’d had. I met a man after I’d spent the day at my pool. My friend talked me into going out to get something to eat…pool hair, sans makeup, and most importantly without my wallet.

She was in a hurry.

She said she would pay.

It was all good until she decided she wanted to continue out for the night. I wanted to go home. She left. I stayed to finish my drink. I was about half way through when I realized she might not have covered the last drink.

I know what you’re thinking…

Use your Apple Pay.

I hadn’t loaded my new bank card on it yet.

I know everyone at this restaurant/bar. It’s attached to my building. I made my way down to the end of the bar to ask the bartender if the last drink had been on the tab.

A man was sitting nearby.

He said he’d cover my drink.

We sat and talked. He was handsome and funny. Funny always gets my attention. But the more we talked I felt a connection to him. A natural ease to conversation, nothing forced.

Attraction isn’t uncommon.

But connection is a commodity.

You can meet someone who’s attractive, or that you’re attracted to. You can get to know someone, and they can become even more attractive. But every once in a while you meet someone who falls into a different category.

Something intangible exists between you.

It’s not the normal meet and greet.

The attraction meets connection.

And emotion meets the physical.

There’s something special about this person. It’s different and it’s rare. It doesn’t happen very often. A bit of electricity. A non-tangible fiber that makes you not want to part.

And to spend hours, or days together.

Maybe they call it electricity because that’s what connection is. A non-tangible fiber that exists between two people. One that makes you feel more alive, and leaves you wanting more.

Even if it’s a brief encounter.

I still want a man with all of those core values, and zestier attributes.

But not without connection.

I knew there would finally come a day when the present overtook the past. Someone special would enter my world (if only for a moment in time) to remind me that I could feel that again.

A random encounter with a man that seemed destined to be.

One that would wake me up.

And remind me that what I’m searching for in a man is simple, raw, and romantically basic…a connection.

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This post was previously published on medium.com.