Jeremy Meeks May be a “Hot Felon” – But is he Really Attractive?

While some women declared their lust after this guy’s mug shot went viral, Stephane Wahl says it violates her #1 Rule for finding a man attractive. 

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This is Jeremy Meeks, the man whose mugshot has garnered over 10,000 comments and more than 70,000 “likes” on Facebook. Comments range from “Wat prison I wanna b locked up there lol” to “Oh my god he can rob my house and ‘assault’ me anytime.” These women are even contributing to a Go Fund Me page started by his mother, who swears he is innocent (I’m not going to link it – please don’t donate) to post his bail.

I listen to Elvis Duran’s morning show on my way to work. I’ve never been big on talk radio, but they’re fun, and they do interesting interviews. This story, however, left me absolutely disgusted.

By now everyone has seen the photo. Anyone else shake their head so hard their eyeballs rattled? I can’t help but call to mind all of the women on social media talking about how Chris Brown can “beat [them] up all night if he wants.”

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I get the science here. I do. Psychologically, it is easier to believe that someone who is unattractive is a criminal, and that someone who is attractive is good. After all, if Cinderella had been a troll and the stepsisters beautiful, the prince probably wouldn’t have given her a second glance. Fairy tales are full of black and white depictions where the good guys are beautiful and the bad guys are sinister uglies.

The best summation of this type of mindset that I’ve heard actually came from an episode of Buffy (no making fun – that show was awesome. I still watch “Once More with Feeling” when I’m sad). Buffy’s childhood friend sells her out to the enemy for his own selfish reasons, and is killed in the process. Buffy asks Giles to lie to her about whether life gets easier, and he says, “Yes, it’s terribly simple. The good guys are always stalwart and true, the bad guys are easily distinguished by their pointy horns or black hats…” Hanging on to that idea gives us the comforting illusion that we will know the “bad guys” when they appear, and be able to avoid them and stay safe.

Psychologically understandable or not, however, I have a few major complaints about the whole situation. Any guy out there who doesn’t look like a CK model in his tighty whities, and can’t seem to find a woman, can now look to this gaggle of felon-crazed women and triumphantly exclaim that women are just as shallow as men. Perhaps more so, given that they’d open their arms (and flies) to this man with a history of weapons and gang-related charges, who a spokesman for the Stockton Police Department has called “one of the most violent criminals in the Stockton area.” Not to mention the teardrop tattoo, which, although the police are not releasing his prior records, generally (at the most innocuous) means at least a previous prison stay. The Superior Court in San Joaquin County only has a case number search, not one by name, so I wasn’t able to confirm his record on my own, either.

As one tiny paper towel trying to stem a flood, I’d like to interject. First of all, this is not how most women think. The key thing to remember here is that crazy shouts, and sanity whispers. It may seem like this type of thing has greater prevalence than it does because it gets more attention.

I don’t want to ignore the harm caused by this kind of thinking (at the risk of a #notallmen type backlash), but it’s not everyone. Most women out there are shaking our heads at what a poor reflection these women are on our gender. More importantly, the women who feel that way probably aren’t the kind you want to be dating anyway. I’m not sure what has to happen in your life (or in your mind) to make you feel that violence is an acceptable price to pay for a pretty face, but it’s likely to be some kind of damage that isn’t really going to lead to a happy, healthy relationship. One man, Jason, definitely agrees. He says he understands where the women are coming from by saying he’s good looking, noting that he even thought Casey Anthony was a looker, but goes on to comment that it shouldn’t change what happens to him and that “all I can say is that I hope [my wife and I] raised our daughter to have more sense than some of you women.”

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I may be the crazy one here, but the more violent/mean/ignorant/crazy a guy is, the less attractive he becomes to me. And the reverse is true. One of my high school crushes was a guy my friends all thought was ugly. But he was sweet, and kind, and a total gentleman, and all of that made me go gaga over him. And, to illustrate the other end, a guy I had a crush on the first week of high school I found ugly by the end of it because of his nasty, bullying, crass attitude. I’m more than willing to bet that any one of these women rallying to release a violent felon would be rallying just as hard to put him back after having to put up with his crap for a week. Same goes for the women who wrote to Ted Bundy while he was put away. They go temporarily insane over a pretty face, but Jeremy Meeks is not who they really want. I must not be the only one who feels that way – one commenter, Cathy, agrees with me: “Give me a break!! People are commenting on a guy’s mug shot? … There are a lot cuter guys out there that do not have a record. Find one of them!”

So guys, please don’t despair over this. Unless you are also a violent criminal or a horrible person, you are likely a better man than this veritable factory of poor choices and anger issues. And there is a woman out there – one who doesn’t throw money at any pair of cheekbones that crosses her computer screen – who will feel like I do and think you are stunning.

Photo: Online: https://www.facebook.com/stocktonpolicedepartment