Adam Scott is gay. Tiger Woods isn’t. Neither is Phil Mickelson. Ernie Els just came out of the closet. Camilo Villegas is bisexual.
Well, at least their putting styles are.
That’s all according to Donald Trump, who, after taking a beating at the White House Correspondents’ Dinner, compared using a long putter to gay marriage. The symbolism, surely, was lost on the Trumpster. The be-coiffed hotel magnate and occasionally-shortened reality show host told The New York Times:
It’s like in golf. A lot of people—I don’t want this to sound trivial—but a lot of people are switching to these really long putters, very unattractive. It’s weird. You see these great players with these really long putters, because they can’t sink three-footers anymore. And, I hate it. I am a traditionalist. I have so many fabulous friends who happen to be gay, but I am a traditionalist.
First off, whenever you qualify a statement with “I don’t want this to sound trivial,” it’s always going to sound trivial. It’s like if I said, “Donald—no offense—you’re an attention-hungry political moron who looks like he’s always got his hand on one of those static electricity balls.” However right I am, saying “no offense” doesn’t make me any less of an asshole in your mind.
As for what he actually said, it seems like he’s trying to say that he accepts gay marriage, just that it’s not his cup of tea. Which would’ve been a much better way to say this. Instead, he manages to throw out words like “unattractive,” “weird,” and “hate.”
Sometimes, it’s best just not to talk, Don. But you’ve ignored that advice for the past 64 years. So, just forget that I even wrote this.
—Photo AP
Giggles!