3 Steps You Can Take to Have the Confidence of Tony Stark

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If we communicate in any way, we have influence, and if we have influence we are, by default, a leader. This can be at work, perhaps as a team leader, or even as a friend or parent. We are all leaders in one form or another, and to lead with intent requires confidence.

The secret is to embrace the role, and understand that it will require showing vulnerability and stepping out of your comfort zone.

But when your confidence wavers, and you feel as though you are not worthy of your position, or perhaps imposter syndrome raises its ugly head, how can you reach into that inner hero, standing on stage with fireworks going off around you as you wow the audience.

How can you be more like Tony Stark?

Armour Up

This will probably not mean breaking out your Iron Man suit, but you can certainly do the civilian equivalent. So when you are about to embark on a new quest, give a presentation, interview for a new job, or even go on a date, make sure you have got into character.

This does not mean wearing a mask or faking it. It is bringing the best version of you to the task at hand. The clothes that fit just right, and make you feel awesome. If they are new, brilliant, but at least make sure they are freshly laundered. Asking a stylish friend, or doing a little research into what colours and styles work for you, will also boost your confidence in your look.

Tony is impeccably presented. We can imagine his morning routine involves a lot of grooming, creams, and lotions of all sorts, and we know he must smell fantastic. Maybe we cannot always pamper ourselves to that degree, but a shower and shave, some nice aftershave, and if you have hit a certain age, maybe break out the ear and nose trimmers.

Whatever you do, imagine it is the suiting up scene in your favourite movie, and maybe get some ACDC playing.

Anchors

Some may call them lucky totems or charms, but a good anchor can keep you moving forward when doubt creeps into your mind. An anchor can be anything that has meaning to you. Perhaps it’s an item of clothing that was given to you by a special loved one, or some jewelry a parent left to you.

It can be something sillier, such as a Wonder Woman keychain, your son or daughters drawing of you as a superhero that you have in your office, or even a stone you found on a beach during a happy memory.

It will be a symbol of, or from, someone you admire, someone you are fighting for, or even an animal that has the character traits you wish to embody.

For Tony Stark, it was Phil Coulson’s playing cards.

How many times in a movie have you seen the hero have that motivating epiphany moment and grasp his deceased friends’ dog tags, find a good luck letter or photo from their partner, or maybe even recall a mentors advice that then replays over and over in their head?

Belonging

We care about others more than we care for ourselves. We may want to give up, but if we have that sense of belonging, and we know who we are doing this for, it will keep us moving forward.

We often hear that we are the average of the five people we surround ourselves with, and it is important to audit them before you go into battle. Will they support you? Can you rely on them if things go wrong? Are they genuinely happy when you succeed?

Building your squad is an important part of leadership, and boosting your confidence. You may not be the Avengers, but you can certainly feel like you are.

The key thing is to make sure you, and the company you keep, or work for, have the same goals and values. Good communication is key, and it is wise to make sure everyone has the same idea of success, no matter what the task is.

Belonging can be attained from your tribe, which could be friends or family, or even a social media group you are part of. Love is the greatest motivator, and so when the going gets tough it will be how you feel about your place in the world that will have an impact on your success.

This is not just your immediate family or friends, but could be your ancestors, and the feeling of not wanting to let them down. This might also apply with being a graduate from a specific university, a sports team, or military veteran.

Try them out and see what happens. But remember, you have got this. You can do anything any other human being has done. You are the hero of this movie and it’s time to act like it.

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