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Gender equity work found me – I didn’t find it.
My background is in music, art, social justice, and education.
Five years ago, I painted a portrait of a friend of mine and she said “I love it! Can I buy it from you? And I said, “Sure. Thanks!”
Then I painted another portrait, and another. After a few months, I picked up my head, looked around, and realized that all of these portraits I had been painting were of some really amazing, strong woman leaders — some really fierce women. And I thought to myself, “Hey, I should do a whole series of these portraits and call it the FierceWomen portrait series.”
And thus FierceWomen was born.
Then it took on a life of its own.
We created a platform for women to share their stories to inspire, empower and help young women and girls expand their sense of what’s possible for their futures. It was really well-received and we engaged different communities in different cities.
After a time, many of the women who participated in FierceWomen Project started to say to me “Hey J.G., we love the name and the concept, and everything about it, but how do we get more men involved? How do we get more men to actively support women leaders and this idea of an unlimited future for girls?”
I sat with that question for quite a while. And then I came upon the concept of Bring Your Strength. It’s the idea of a different kind of invitation to men to bring their strength to the table to support women leaders.
After speaking with women leaders from across sectors and across the U.S., I began to ask myself a very specific question: What comes after implicit bias training? And then I began to ask the women leaders another very specific question.
My question to them was: How would it impact your life and experience if tomorrow you went into your organization and not just one but many of your male colleagues said to you “I’m really interested in learning about your leadership style. And I don’t want to be just another regular team member here. Can you tell me how I can powerfully and actively support your leadership vision? Almost all of the women said something to the effect of: “I love this question J.G. but I can’t imagine one – let alone many — of my male colleagues asking me that question.”
And then I would say, “Yeah, it does sound a little improbable, but let me ask you this: If you felt that they were sincere and didn’t have a hidden agenda, would you welcome that question?” Almost every woman leader I spoke to emphatically exclaimed something to the effect of, “Are you kidding me?! That would be unbelievable, it would be amazing… If they really meant it and would actually follow through on it? It would be incredible; it would be a game-changer.” And here’s the kicker: there are men who would ask that question — there are actually quite a few. But they don’t even know they’re allowed to ask that question and furthermore they don’t have a roadmap. They don’t have the language. We don’t even have the lexicon, right now.
The current conversation around gender talks a lot about implicit and unconscious bias, but there’s this other conversation that we COULD be having about gender. And for that we need to invent some new language. But the most striking thing for me was this disconnect — this idea that this one simple thing, this one powerful question could have such a huge impact — and there are men who would ask the question and mean it, and follow through on it, but they don’t know they’re allowed to ask the question. and we don’t have a precedent. it just seems like such a huge missed opportunity. And these men in this hidden demographic represent a huge potential lever for a change.
So folks, let’s connect these dots. Men, let’s ask the question — because women leaders are ready to answer it.
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Photo Credit: Shutterstock
