Lonely Boy

When I dance around the kitchen as I cook, it looks vaguely like this video, only way shittier.

I dig the Black Keys and you should too.  Maybe that was too strong a statement.  Let me try this again.  I dig the Black Keys and believe that it’s worth a three minute investment at the end of this post to check out the entertaining video for their new single Lonely Boy.  That seems like a more reasonable way to kick things off.

The song is rad, but the video is the result of one of those epiphany moments a director experiences where circumstance and fate collide to show them the path they need to be on.  Here’s how I picture this video going down.

The producer gives the director a check for $20,000 and says, “Go make a great video.”  The director smiles as he heads towards his car because he knows he’s going to see his favorite prostitute before cruising to some crappy poker club to lose almost the full amount.

Losing wasn’t what the director planned on, but about an hour in, Jack Daniels took over the card playing duties.  Jack Daniels is a shitty card player.  He talks a bunch of smack and bluffs all in when he has off-suit jack shit, without the jack.

The director somehow manages to have $500 left in his pocket and rolls to the closest crackhead motel where he gets a room and some junk.  As he’s trippin balls, he looks out the window where he sees a homeless guy dancing around cuz he’s gotta wiz and someone is already using the dumpster.  That gave him an idea.

The next morning the director went to the motel office where he met the gentleman in the video.  In my version of the story, the guy is a culinary arts student at the local J.C. who works as the night manager at the 8-Ball Inn.  Director asks the dude if he wants to make an easy hundred and fifty.  The manager explains that he’s not that type, but in room 12 there’s a passable trannie who may be interested.

The director explains that all he has to do is dance around like a douche and lip sync.  This brave man looked shame in the eye and said, “F you.  I’m doing it anyway.”  This man is a role model for guys who dance like this when they’re all alone (or who think they’re all alone, even though they’re not).

This is easily the raddest video I’ve seen in a long time.  It’s a great song and I will proudly admit that I wish I had the balls to do something like that in public.  But I don’t.  The only way you’d get me to do that is with a lot of Jack and Coke.  Even then, I would probably slur the lip syncing.  I would advise you to keep an eye on the office window.  You never know what may happen.

Watch the video and tell me if you would be the dude (or chick) in the video for $150.  If not, what would it take to get you to do this?  I want to know.