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When you’re trying to understand yourself and others so you can grow and become the best version of yourself, it’s important to remember that everyone has their own way of doing things.
But it’s easy to get caught up in the way that our personalities affect our lives – and how others’ impact us.
Knowing your personality type can help you understand what motivates you and triggers you to react in specific ways to stress or everyday challenges.
Moreover, knowing the other types can help you understand why others are behaving the way they are which leads to more compassion, empathy, insight, and better communication all around.
And the Enneagram is one of the best tools you can use.
In this post, I’ll give an overview of the 9 types and how each can grow to become the best version of themselves.
What is the Enneagram?
The enneagram in the most basic sense is a tool to understand yourself and others.
It provides a comprehensive map for personal development from an open systems perspective and consists of three Centers of Intelligence, nine major Enneagram types, 18 wings, three subtypes, and Triadic styles.
It doesn’t confine people; instead, it creates a path for self-awareness and discovery.
Each of the nine types describes how someone perceives the world and how they operate on it, each with their own internal dynamics, motivations, and fears, strengths and weaknesses that make them unique.
Let’s dive deeper into the nine enneagram types, what they mean, and what they say about your personality.
The 9 Enneagram Types & How to Grow in Yours
Enneagram Type 1: The Perfectionist
Desire: To be mistake-free and live by their admirable moral standards as excellently as possible.
Fear: Being defective or corrupt.
Three characteristics that come up frequently while describing a One are dependability, diligence, and integrity. They aspire to be faultless and to uphold their high moral ideals as well as they can. Ones have a strong sense of right and wrong.
Even though Ones are driven by a clear sense of purpose, they frequently feel the need to defend their actions to others and to themselves. At the same time, they deliberately avoid caving in to their natural desires or letting them manifest themselves too openly in an effort to remain faithful to their principles.
As a result, this personality type struggles with aggression, repression, and defiance. Others frequently perceive them as being extremely rigid and self-controlled.
How to grow as a One
Take some time for yourself without feeling that you need to do everything or that everything you fail to do would cause chaos and tragedy.
Mercifully, despite how you may occasionally feel it, you are not solely responsible for the world’s salvation.
Connect with your emotions, especially your irrational inclinations—in other words, the messy human qualities that make us human.
Keeping a journal or enrolling in group therapy or other group activities may be helpful for developing your emotions and ensuring that others won’t judge you for having human needs and limits.
Enneagram Type 2: The Helper
Desire: To be worthy of love.
Fear: Being rejected and going unloved by the people they care about.
Twos are warm-hearted, truthful, and compassionate. They can be sentimental, charming, and people-pleasing as well as friendly, giving, and selfless.
They frequently struggle with possessiveness and recognizing their own needs. When at their best, they exhibit selflessness and unwavering altruism.
But if they’re not careful, they might rely on their capacity for love as a means of obtaining love in return. They have the tendency to manipulate others by meeting those needs and desires.
How to grow as a Two
First and foremost, keep in mind that you have to take care of yourself first.
Prioritizing your needs above those of others is not being selfish; it is just plain sense.
Secondly, even if there are numerous things you might wish to do for people, it is frequently wiser to first find out what they actually need.
People who choose not to accept your offer of assistance do not necessarily dislike you or consider you to be unworthy of their time and attention. Be willing to accept a “no, thank you.”
And lastly, learn to recognize other people’s kindness and good intentions, even when they express them in words you are unfamiliar with. You’ll be able to rest more soundly in the knowledge that you truly are loved if you can appreciate what others are providing to you.
Enneagram Type 3: The Achiever
Desire: To be seen as valuable by others.
Fear: If someone truly knew them, they would be rejected and seen as unworthy.
Threes have a strong drive to succeed.
They almost always manage to accomplish their objectives.
They are among the most powerful people in the world when they are at their finest. They are experts at reading people, and they have a special talent for encouraging others to discover and develop their own skills.
Their need to gain other people’s love and acceptance is frequently at the heart of their great performance. But they might become worn out from this performance.
Due to their propensity to become what the others around them deem to be most valuable, it may seem as though they have no identity outside of the things they accomplish.
How to grow as a Three
Create connections where generosity and cooperation are valued. This can be accomplished by making time throughout a busy day to truly connect with a loved one.
Simple calm appreciation for a few minutes will do. Nothing extraordinary is necessary. When you accomplish this, you will develop into a more lovable person, a more dependable friend, and a much more appealing person overall.
Become more socially aware. Become active in initiatives that had nothing to do with your own development.
Enneagram Type 4: The Individualist
Desire: To be deeply loved as their authentic self.
Fear: “Fear of being without identity or individual significance.”
Fours are sensitive, reserved, and self-aware. They might be gloomy and self-conscious yet are emotionally open, creative, rational, and personable.
They frequently feel as though they lack something that everyone else possesses. They strive to create an identity based on their individuality in order to get the love and affection they crave.
When they are at their best, they can be inspired and highly creative and are able to transform themselves and even change their circumstances.
Learning to let go of old feelings is one of the hardest things for Fours to do since they often nurse their wounds and harbor bitterness toward those who have wronged them. As a matter of fact, Fours may get so consumed with desire and disappointment that they fail to see the wonderful gifts in their lives.
How to grow as a Four
Commit yourself to constructive, meaningful work that will contribute to your benefit and that of others, no matter how tiny the contribution may be.
Avoid delaying tasks until you are “in the proper mood.” Working consistently in the real world will establish an environment where you may learn more about who you are and what your abilities are.
You can’t “discover yourself” in a vacuum or while waiting for inspiration to strike, so engage with the outside world—and continue doing so.
Enneagram Type 5: The Investigator
Desire: To attain safety and security through knowledge and wisdom.
Fears: Being incompetent or useless, being overwhelmed by the world
Fives are fiercely objective, analytical, and reasonable.
On the Enneagram, they are regarded as the “largest thinkers,” and they are prone to becoming so preoccupied with their ideas that they neglect their feelings or their physical well-being.
Fives are often reclusive people who lack social comfort.
They adore their alone time since it allows them to learn things and makes them feel more capable of surviving in the outside world.
They prefer to withdraw when the world overwhelms them. Fives are frequently regarded as “sages” in their communities, and they impart their profound wisdom to others in order to improve their lives.
How to grow as a Five
Recognize when your thoughts and speculation pull you away from the present moment of your experience.
When you utilize your mental abilities to avoid touch with yourself and other people, they may become a trap as well as an incredible gift. Maintain a connection to your body.
Fives frequently struggle to put their faith in others, to be vulnerable with them, or to open up to them emotionally.
It’s crucial to keep in mind that having disagreements with people is common and that the good course of action is to resolve them rather than reject social relationships by withdrawing into seclusion.
Enneagram Type 6: The Loyalist
Desire: To remain safe and secure from life’s many dangers.
Fear: Being without guidance and support.
Sixes on the Enneagram are dependable and faithful. They locate their group and remain with them.
They are the most worried enneagram type since they are also the most security-oriented. Sixes struggle to control their anxiousness and tend to over-prepare for potential issues or threats.
They are skeptical and doubtful due to their anxiousness, yet they also possess an amazing gift of faith that, when used, offers them incredible loyalty to other people.
How to grow as a Six
Keep in mind that everyone has anxiety, and it happens far more frequently than you would believe. Learn to explore and accept your anxiety by being more in the moment with it.
Instead of using excessive amounts of alcohol (or other substances) to relax, find inventive ways to deal with your anxieties.
Improve your level of trust. There are undoubtedly a number of trustworthy, caring persons in your life that you may turn to.
Few individuals are genuinely trying to get you, and more people probably think well of you than you know. In actuality, your worries reveal more about your own interpersonal views than they do about those of others.
Enneagram Type 7: The Enthusiast
Desire: To experience as much happiness and excitement as possible.
Fear: Being “tied down,” or forced to experience negative things.
Sevens are happy, excited, and eager to embark on an adventure at any time. They will frequently use anticipation as a strategy to flee from suffering since their focus is on the future and they are looking forward to the “next wonderful thing.”
Most Sevens find it difficult to face their unpleasant feelings, but their spiritual gift of Joy will grow even more if they can learn to be totally present with suffering.
How to grow as a Seven
Recognize your tendency toward impulsivity and develop the practice of watching rather than acting on your urges.
This entails allowing the majority of your impulses to pass and improving your ability to discern which ones are worthwhile to act upon.
Always prioritize quality above quantity, particularly when it comes to your encounters.
Enneagram Type 8: The Protector
Desire: To remain in control of their life and their future
Fear: Being controlled, being at the mercy of someone else
Eights are powerful, self-assured, and assertive. However, they may also be egotistical and overbearing.
Eights frequently become hostile and frightening because they feel the need to dominate their surroundings, especially other people.
Eights generally struggle with controlling their tempers and exposing their vulnerability. When they are at their best, they are self-mastering and utilize their strength to better the lives of others, becoming heroic, generous, and motivating.
How to grow as an Eight
It is challenging for Eights, but they must learn to periodically submit to others. Often, there isn’t much at risk, and you may let others do as they like without worrying that you’ll lose control or your ability to meet your own needs.
Your ego is starting to swell if you constantly feel the need to control everyone. This is a warning that more significant disputes with other people are unavoidable.
Enneagram Type 9: The Peacemaker
Desire: To have peace and harmony.
Fear: The loss of a relationship due to conflict.
Nines are kind, understanding, and empathetic. They possess a special capacity for forgetting about themselves, which enables them to love others very deeply and “merge” with them so they may see the world from their perspective.
However, if this is misused, it may harm them as they find it difficult to perceive themselves as significant members of their community. They are inclined to blend in with the backdrop in order to create room for others who are “more important.”
How to grow as a Nine
A Nine’s growth journey is one of waking up to themselves, and then showing up in the world.
You must realize that you have unique gifts and something important to contribute. Avoid the temptation to bury your gifts and believe you are unimportant.
Use your gift of prioritizing others without minimizing yourself.
Discovering Your Type Can Lead to New Growth Opportunities
The Enneagram can be an incredibly useful tool for personal growth.
If you don’t know your type yet, one of the best tests out there is the Integrative Enneagram.
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