The Warrior and the Goddess — A Legend on Masculinity

To our sons.

The legend spoke of a Goddess. Magnificent in her power, she glowed, emanating a strange, addictive form of energy. Wise, she could see through men. Ruthless, she would cut off the heads of those who attempted to fool her.

In a fortress she lived. According to the legend, he who entered the fortress and made it to the sacred chamber would be blessed by the Goddess with her energy, rejuvenating decades.

On the way to the chamber, however, arduous challenges awaited. Known as “The Three Holy Trials”, they have reaped the lives of uncountable warriors.

Those few who came out alive, known as The Superior Men, said the last thing they recalled was entering the fortress. Yes, mighty was the Goddess magic, and the little that was known about the trials came from a few ancient books.

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The First Trial — Don’t Drift

Only a warrior with a clear sense of direction would pass. Succumbing to distractions meant certain death.

Second Trial — Don’t Falter

Wit and grit. To remain alive, a warrior should decipher the feminine enigma and persevere through the tribulations thrown against him.

Third Trial — Don’t Repel

Keeping attraction strong between the masculine and feminine poles was the key to survival. The more charged the warrior was with masculine energy, the more chances he had.

No wonder few warriors made it to the chamber. A man had to be godlike to succeed.

Once at the chamber, the warrior would finally see her, the Goddess. However, he could not look at her face, so vigorously she glowed.

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The powerful attraction between the masculine and feminine poles would then pull the warrior to the Goddess. A spark would ensue, and her sacred energy would finally replenish the warrior’s body.

She would then surrender sexually to him. The blinding light would vanish, and he would finally see her face — his wife’s face.

Damn! Writing fiction is hard. Tolkien, hat tip to you.

This short story was my tentative of synthesizing David Deida’s teachings in a fiction format. I sincerely enjoyed the task, and, despite my poor “Tolkienship”, I hope you’ve liked it.

So, Superior Man, huh? Let’s talk more about what sets them apart from the average Joe. Have a seat.

A Superior Man is on a mission

A man on a mission is a force of nature. A man on a mission can cross uncharted oceans, create amazing things like the internet, and literally go to the moon. A man on a mission rises.

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If you’re not on a mission, you’re drifting.

A drifting man conquers nothing. Constantly chasing one quick pleasure after the other and always complaining, he assumes no responsibility for his life. A drifting man falls.

Image from iStockPhoto.com

Enough of bullshitting around. Go find your mission. Not a prefabricated one handed to you by society, but one of your choosing.

Don’t fail your birthright.

Take money, for example. For the sake of what are you amassing a heinous amount of it? If you know the answer and this aligns with your mission, great. Keep going. But if not, rethink your actions. Money is not an end per se, but a powerful tool. What do you want that tool for? Freedom? Helping others? Clarity of purpose is a hallmark of a Superior Man.

A man on a mission is a whole man, who, instead of wanting the world to give itself to him, gives himself to the world. The world has much to benefit from a man on a mission.

A man who follows his highest purpose does not seek fulfillment from his wife either. Instead, by being whole, he fulfills her. He can love her fully, even if he’s not always available.

A man on a mission gives instead of taking.

A man on a mission is a better worker, husband, and father.

A Superior Man knows his woman will never make it easy for him

Deida gives us a funny example of how it works:

Man: Hey babe, I made a million dollars today!

Woman: That’s nice.

Man: That’s nice??

Woman: Yes… What about the milk? I can’t believe you forgot it once again!

See?

Now, how you react defines if you are a Superior Man or not.

A Superior Man, knowing that women can’t help but continually test his manliness, would smile, kiss her, say something silly like “To the Milky Way and beyond!” and slap her ass while leaving.

The average Joe, on the other hand, would be hurt and close himself, whining because mama had not praised him for being better than the other boys.

Now, to be clear: of course she’s happy you made a million dollars. She’s not stupid, far from it. In her innate — and many times unconscious — wisdom, she wants to make sure you do not depend on her praise to keep going with your mission. She wants a male God, not a little boy. She wants to make sure you’re fulfilled regardless of what she says. She knows the world will crush you if you are insecure and weak. Only a God can take on the world and thrive.

She knows you grow by challenge, not by praise. The feminine was aware of the masculine antifragile nature way before Nassim Taleb coined the term.

If you pass her tests, then she’ll surrender to you. Then you’ll be blessed with her rejuvenating energy. You’ll feel unstoppable, ready to make another million dollars.

So, learn to rejoice when being tested by your woman. With that shift in perception, you’ll start admiring her as never before. By the way, don’t hold anything back when praising her. After all, she’s your Goddess, and Goddesses are to be worshiped.

Besides testing your strength of purpose, like in the milk example above, women also constantly test your capacity to figure them out. Don’t take their words at face value. Listen to their hearts. If your woman says everything is fine with a tone of voice that says the opposite, prepare to face the Goddess’s wrath.

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Finally, keep in mind that the way you approach your woman is a reflection of how you approach the world. If you whine every time the world does not behave in the way you want and just put up with it, you’ll probably do the same with your woman. Don’t. A Superior Man does not put up with his woman and her moodiness. A Superior Man gives his best to conquer his woman and open her heart. If she doesn’t respond accordingly, he moves on, knowing he did what he could.

A Superior Man doesn’t quiet quit.

A Superior Man keeps polarity strong

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Oh my God!!! A cockroach! Kill it! KILL IT!

Who’s saying that? You or your woman?

It may seem silly, but being able to kill if necessary is an important masculine trait.

Of course a woman can kill a cockroach, for she has a masculine side. Conversely, we can soothe our children, for we have a feminine side.

Here’s the thing though: most of the time, men prefer to be masculine and women prefer to be feminine. If your woman needs to animate her masculine side too often, her feminine side will suffer, and so will her radiance.

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There is a polarity between the masculine and the feminine. Not only this polarity attracts one to the other but enables the exchange of energy between the two poles, which allows you to feel rejuvenated and frees your woman to be pure energy, knowing that you are in charge — like when killing the cockroach or fixing the broken faucet.

So, if you want to keep polarity strong, make sure you embody as many masculine traits as possible and your woman the feminine ones. Does she want to go to the beauty salon? By all means, support her.

Masculine traits:

Mission-driven
Does what needs to be done, regardless of how he feels
Head centered
Conquers
Austerity, funcionality

Feminine traits:

Love driven
Does things when she feels like doing them
Heart-centered
Surrenders
Beauty, color, music, nature

Take your house, for example. Left to you alone, it would be fully functional, but dead. A passer-by could very well believe it was inhabited by a robot. Now, bring your woman in. Instantly, she’ll bring life and color to your house. It will become home.

Let her be the one that brings life to the house. Let her emanate her feminine radiance in all its power and glory. She’s much better at that than you and you know it.

And you? For polarity’s sake, you keep being WALL-E.

Photo by James A. Molnar on Unsplash

Next time she calls you a robot, “criticizing” you, celebrate. On the surface, she’s complaining, but deep down she likes to see that trait in you. Again, it’s a test. If you cease to be the robot to fulfill her request, you will have flunked and polarity will diminish. Don’t do that.

These days, I and my wife were arriving home on a rainy, cold Friday afternoon. Then, while parking the car, I told her I was going to the gym. She said, “No way! I can’t believe it! How are you capable of that? You must be a robot! Stay with me, it’s Friday and it’s cold!”.

By now, you may have guessed how I reacted. With a smile on my face, I kissed her and said I had to go. On the surface, she was mad, but deep down I know she was happy.

Why? Because the Goddess saw her warrior persevering when the universe (including herself) was trying to dissuade him.

For a woman, doing things when she doesn’t want to is absurdly hard. They follow their feelings, and — make no mistake — there is much wisdom in that. The problem is that they have a hard time escaping their moods. And that’s where you come in. With your masculine blade — mind and body — you can pierce her bad mood. Crack a joke. Put her on your shoulder and throw her in bed. Your loving intervention is one of your main masculine gifts.

Trust me, if you work on your masculine side, your woman will feel the pull toward you. Similarly, if she works on her feminine side — like going to a relaxing massage, spending time with her female friends, or dancing — her radiance will intensify, and you’ll feel the pull yourself.

Finally, you can’t fool your Goddess. She can see through you and, if she notices your lack of masculinity, she’ll animate her masculine side. The impact is two-fold: not only her radiance will reduce but also the polarity will weaken. The result? No energy flow, no mutual gifting – a loving relationship turned into a business partnership.

Recap

You’re a warrior and your woman is your Goddess.

As a warrior, you are on a mission. You have a dragon to kill, whatever that dragon may be. From composing a song to curing Alzheimer’s, it doesn’t really matter. What matters is that you know your mission and align your life with it, living a life true to yourself. Don’t drift.

To accomplish that mission, you’ll need an inexhaustible energy source. This source is the feminine, embodied in your Goddess.

But she won’t give you her sacred energy easily. For your own good, she’ll relentlessly test you. Don’t falter.

Keep polarity strong to maintain the energy flow. Hone your Goddess’s radiance. Be the male God. Don’t repel.