5 Traits of the Mentally Strong and How You Can Adopt Them

In 1992, Dan Brodsky-Chenfield survived a plane crash that killed 16 people. He spent six weeks in a coma with a broken neck. He recovered and went on to win six skydiving world championships.

Each time Dan and his team won the world championship, it wasn’t because their best jumps differed greatly from everyone else’s. The main difference was their worst jumps were better than the worst of the competitors.

Dan could handle a rough jump. He didn’t lose his focus, and this resilience kept him on his game.

Everyone looks good when things go well. But how do you act when unexpected disaster strikes?

We need to identify how mentally tough people think and then plan how to emulate them.

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1. Delayed gratification.

We live in an age of instant dopamine hits. Articles have to be shorter, millions of tweets fight for attention, you can eat whatever you want in minutes, and pornography is available on demand, meaning some people don’t even bother talking to the opposite sex.

All of this means most of us no longer work hard. We don’t play the long game. When we hit resistance, we buckle and return to our comfort-filled life on the couch.

My passion, besides writing, is investing. It’s boring because I don’t touch my portfolio for months. I’m in the game for 20 years minimum.

That’s 20 years where I don’t care about short-term news or disaster, and I’ll get no benefit from the money, knowing that eventually, I’ll have achieved real wealth.

Most people make terrible investors. They buy when things are going great and sell at a loss.

People want get rich quick schemes. You’re going to have to work at practicing delayed gratification.

What to do:

First, know your goal if you don’t have a strong why you’ll struggle against temptation.

Put some money aside each month and avoid the urge to blow it on vacations or dinners out. Use the money as security, buy a house down the line, or invest it.

Do you want a dream job? Get qualifications and experience, attend tedious classes, read books, and practice in public.

Start caring about your friends more. Learn about a shared interest and spend time with them.

Find ways to practice delayed gratification in every area of your life.

. . .

2. Be consistent.

My fledgling writing career has emphasized the need for consistency. Every day I have to show up and write something — articles, tweets, threads, guest posts, newsletters.

For a long time, only a few people read my work. But I kept going because I knew my writing habits would pay off. Now and then, I hit on a viral article or a tweet that takes off. I might get a nice comment telling me I’ve helped someone.

I celebrate every small win along the way, which motivates me to keep going.

I’ve been writing for just over a year, and I’m fascinated by where I will end up five years from now — delayed gratification again!

What to do:

Create specific goals. How can you be consistent if you don’t know what to do? Make your goals manageable and simple with measurable outcomes.

Now come up with smaller steps to reach that goal. If you want to write more, set the goal to write for 30 minutes at the start of each day.

Be specific — what will you do, and how will you do it?

Create a schedule to plan your day and get everything done on time. This builds discipline.

Once you get something done, reward yourself. Take an evening off, and have a special meal. Celebrate every small win.

. . .

3. Embrace mistakes as learning opportunities.

Carey Smith manufactures rooftop sprinklers. He decided to venture into a new business he knew nothing about — making giant fans. He named the company HVLS Fans, which stood for “High-velocity Low Speed.”

Much like writing needs a good headline, a business needs a catchy name, and HVLS Fans wasn’t it. But rather than let poor business get him down, Carey listened to his customers.

When customers came into the store, they would ask if Carey was the person who made “big ass fans.”

Carey saw the opportunity and renamed the company “Big Ass Fans.” This occurred during the Great Recession, but his business thrived while others lagged.

All because he put his fear aside and allowed himself to be open to his customers. They told him what to do.

What to do:

Practice mindfulness. Take in every sensation of where you are and focus on the present moment. Like Carey, the answers to your problems are staring you in the face. You need to set aside your ego and pay attention.

Everyone makes mistakes, and the most successful people make the most errors. Your purpose isn’t to wait until everything’s perfect but to respond when mistakes happen.

Pain and discomfort are never wasted if you learn from them. Edison, the inventor, never failed; he just found 10,000 ways that didn’t work.

Stop taking everything so seriously. Whatever mistake you make is unlikely to bother you five years from now. Laugh about it and keep going.

. . .

4. Be willing to learn and grow.

Musician Nick Cave lost his teenage son in an accident. He could have given up at that point but decided to lift himself out of despair.

Cave created the “Red Hand Files.” It’s a website where you can ask him any question you want. He responds with deep and caring letters that connect him with readers from across the world.

Cave decided not to give in to his agonizing grief — and no one would have blamed him if he did. He found a way to break out of his loneliness and help others.

What to do:

To grow from immense pain, you need to take care of yourself. Exercise, meditation, and focus on your breathing can help your energy levels but don’t beat yourself up if it’s too much. Eat, stay hydrated, and take it slow.

Be vocal in letting others know what you need. Write it down if it helps.

Spend time in nature. Just 2 hours a week outdoors can improve your mental and physical health.

Try activities that make you feel good, whether socializing or watching tv.

If you need to, never feel bad for seeking professional help. Talking is far better than bottling up your pain inside.

. . .

5. Face fears and take action.

When I was younger, I dreaded confrontation and was bullied mercilessly. My confidence and self-esteem were at rock bottom, and I knew I had to do something.

So I faced my fear and took up Karate. Then I went one step further and added Boxing to my resume.

I was never bullied again and found a love for myself born from adversity. Pushing myself to confront my fears became addictive, and I became a Police Officer.

I went from someone scared of his own shadow to an adrenaline junkie because I confronted the fears that were in my way.

What to do:

Start small. Draw a pyramid on a sheet of paper. At the bottom, put the easiest fear you have to conquer. Work up the list.

By the time you reach the big fears at the top, you’ll have a series of wins behind you. The biggest fear will be a step away instead of a whole pyramid.

Courage isn’t the absence of fear but doing what is right despite how you feel. Remember, everyone feels fear, and anyone who denies it is either mentally ill or lying.

How you feel about something has no bearing on whether you should do it. It’s ok to be scared — do it anyway.

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This post was previously published on Better Advice.

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