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Your partner turns 50. She’s excited to embark on new journeys as she can spare more time for herself now that your children have moved out with their families. She’s looking forward to doing things she used to do and trying new hobbies that pique her interest.
However, her recent health issues have been affecting her plans. For the past few months, her periods have been irregular. On top of it, she’s now experiencing hot flashes and sleeping problems, which made her more uncomfortable and fed up. Dealing with these menopausal transition symptoms has been challenging, and she needs your support more than ever.
Menopause is a significant yet complicated time in your partner’s life. How can you help make it more manageable and less stressful?
How do men generally perceive and experience their partners’ menopause?
A 2019 study about men’s perceptions and attitudes toward menopause determined that men are generally aware of their partners’ menopausal transition.
Most men said the symptoms negatively impacted them, their partners, and their relationships. Those who engaged in discussions believed their conversations influenced their partners’ decisions to make lifestyle adjustments or seek treatment.
While men have general menopausal transition awareness, educational interventions are still necessary to augment their knowledge regarding menopause and its available treatment options. You can start by understanding how to provide the appropriate support your partner needs.
The Best Ways To Support Your Partner During Menopause
Since menopausal transition negatively impacts some men, your partner’s symptoms can be challenging for you, too. Helping them cope is a gradual process that requires time, patience, and commitment.
Note that others’ experiences don’t necessarily mirror your own. Whichever type of support you give solely depends on your partner’s needs. With that, here are the best ways to support your partner during her menopause:
Research and understand the menopausal transition
Without proper knowledge and awareness, your initial response to menopause symptoms might be feeling frightened or backing off at a time when your partner needs the most support. Fortunately, you can avoid these situations through research.
A simple Google search can provide brief overviews about menopause and its symptoms. Devote some time to read several sources detailing why your partner’s behavior changed slightly or drastically.
Understand the symptoms so you can acknowledge them immediately when your partner experiences them. Consequently, you’ll know how to deal with her outbursts or emotional detachments accordingly.
Prepare ahead of the transition
Menopause is generally known as the point when women don’t get periods within 12 months after their last cycle. But this doesn’t happen overnight. Women can’t just continue their lives after their periods stop because the transition period—perimenopause—can last for up to 15 years. During this time, calmness and patience can go a long way.
The key to keeping your calmness and patience during the menopausal transition is preparation. Before the symptoms even begin, converse with your partner and curate plans beneficial to both of you. That way, you can anticipate your partner’s moods and won’t automatically assume that the worst could happen.
Encourage healthy communication
Communication is significant in every relationship. Whether married or not, you and your partner should constantly communicate to prevent unnecessary arguments. As such, encourage healthy communication by dedicating time to talk with your partner about her menopause.
Here are some tips that can foster healthy communication:
- Listen attentively when your partner talks. Lend your ears and avoid interrupting or offering unsolicited advice
- When unsure about something, ask questions politely. It shows your interest and willingness to understand what your partner’s going through
- Even if your partner says something disagreeable, respect her perspective. Let her relay her feelings without fearing you might shame her
- Be straightforward about your thoughts, feelings, and experiences to deepen her understanding of your struggles
Ask about your partners’ needs
Fluctuating hormones can send different signals to your partner’s brain and body. As she deals with menopause, the hormones may send new chemical signals. Her past coping mechanisms may not work anymore. Similarly, whichever support you provided before may not necessarily work again during her menopausal transition.
That’s why it’s essential to ask what she needs constantly. Don’t assume that you know what’s best for her. If you do something without her permission, it can cause arguments.
Remember to prioritize her consent by doing what she answered to your question. If she says she doesn’t need anything, leave her be and just continue the support she asked you to give.
Embrace the confusion
Many women don’t know much about menopause either. Reading about it is way different from actually experiencing the symptoms. Even the slightest change can confuse your partner as it confuses you. Thus, embracing the confusion is best in this situation.
Assure your partner that not knowing much about menopause doesn’t make her less of a woman. Just because she doesn’t know everything about it doesn’t mean she can’t help you understand her struggles.
Tell her you’ll navigate this transition together and that you’ll be learning as much as her. This way, you become a team, and she won’t feel alone during the transition.
Offer to help even with the simplest tasks
Simple tasks can be overwhelming for your partner during menopause. Offering help for simple tasks like washing dishes and cleaning can help ease her burden. Planning can also help prevent stress from breaking the daily routine.
Remember that menopause isn’t just about hormones
While hormones are significantly affected in menopause, they’re just one aspect of the transition. Your partner may also struggle with aging and loss of fertility.
Concurrently, midlife comes with other challenges, such as increased work responsibility, the empty nest syndrome, and the need to balance caring for children and elderly parents.
For these reasons, blaming your partner’s symptoms on hormones may be dismissive and invalidating. Understanding hormonal impacts is essential, but using them to explain everything can minimize her experiences.
Understand her reproductive issues
Menopause can cause reproductive issues like vaginal dryness, making intercourse potentially uncomfortable for your partner. This dryness can also cause pain due to the thinning tissue. When this happens, encourage a discussion with her gynecologist.
Balancing sexuality and intimacy is the key to preventing your partner’s reproductive issues from worsening.
Rather than initiating intercourse, focus on physical affection. Ask your partner what makes her feel good. Sometimes, a simple cuddle or shoulder massage can keep the physical connection going.
Foster healthy habits together
Exercise and good nutrition can help ease your partner’s menopause symptoms. It can be as simple as going for walks, giving supplements for menopause joint pain, or helping to shop and cook a dietary meal.
These habits can help your partner foster healthy habits with you. Not only do these make her feel good, but they can also help keep her physically and mentally fit during the menopausal transition.
Don’t let the romance die down
Last but not least, don’t let the romance die down. Your partner may struggle with her emotions and self-image, making her feel unlovable or unattractive. Reassure her that you still love her and that she’s still beautiful by keeping the romantic gestures, no matter how simple. Give heartfelt reminders of your love and compliment her to make her feel confident.
Be the Partner That She Needs
The menopausal transition can be challenging, but you can make it bearable with adequate support. The impacts can also be different for every woman.
While there is no universal coping method for couples, the most important thing is being supportive. Be the companion that your partner needs by paying attention and reminding yourself that the menopausal transition involves both of you as a couple.
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