Aristotle and Plato, our main Greek boys, knew what they were talking about when they thought about love. In fact, Canadian psychologist John Allen Lee also found their work meaningful, so much so that he borrowed some of their Greek terms and invented the color wheel theory of love. Vibrant and easy to follow, we will also be using this tool throughout this blog post to help you explore the many different types of love.
Although times have changed since Aristotle and Plato were alive, the world has evolved with dating apps, flurry emojis, and romantic memes. However, one thing that hasn’t changed is that we all yearn for affection. Whether you’re just getting into your first relationship or you prioritize self-love first and foremost, here are the eight types of love you will experience in this lifetime:
1. Playful Love (Ludus)
Are you a no-strings-attached sort of partner? Do others find you flirty and fun? Then ludus describes you perfectly. People who experience playful love see it as one big exciting game. Instead of committing fully to one person, their main objective is to make things less complicated by having multiple partners or being friends with benefits.
On the upside, this type of love keeps things burning with excitement and childlike innocence. However, on the downside, people who prefer playful love like to feel in control, so they end up manipulating their partners. Whether it means lying, deceiving, or exploiting their weak spots, unfortunately, if you’re a highly sensitive person, this type of love may not be for you.
2. Obsessive Love (Mania)
Oh yes, there’s nothing like being bitten by the nasty old green bug or putting on a mad hat. People who experience mania often suffer from low self-esteem and want to feel complete, so they often latch onto their partner, which usually creates a codependent relationship. The good news, however, is that one can always grow out of mania and move on to a different type of love that’s free from obsession.
In order to repair a codependent relationship, it’s important to set boundaries and find happiness as an individual. Whether that means spending more time with family and friends, broadening your networking circle, or picking up a new hobby, these activities can all build your independence.
3. Erotic Love (Eros)
Eros, the son of Aphrodite, the goddess of love, brings us to the realm of steamy and intense relationships. This type of love involves a strong physical and emotional connection, where both partners exercise compassion. Romantic and idealistic, eros leaves people feeling high on love. It is often the initial stage of an exclusive relationship.
4. Enduring Love (Pragma)
Do you often feel like butterflies are overrated or just want something that’s stable and lasting? People who prefer enduring love have a practical approach towards relationships. They choose convenience over romance and are more concerned about whether their partner can bring common sense to the table. The individual also finds their partner’s level of education, religious beliefs, social status, and financial standing important.
5. Friendship Love (Philia)
This type of love, along with the remainder, is not included in Lee’s color wheel theory of love, but they are still important enough to the Greeks to be explored. In fact, they consider it far superior to eros because it’s a love that’s equal. It is commonly believed that if you have one good friend in life,
then you’re lucky. Philia is the platonic love we have for others whom we are not physically attracted to. This type of love thrives on components of loyalty, openness, and a true sense of understanding one another.
6. Familial Love (Storge)
Storge is a Greek term that means natural affection or family love. This type of love is the first you experience throughout your life. It forms between parents and their children. Some of us are blessed with wonderful childhoods, and we can rely on our parents again and again for guidance. But those of us who grew up in a toxic household may find it difficult to achieve familial love.
7. Self-Love (Philautia)
This type of love shares the Buddhist philosophy of self-compassion. In order to reach self-love, one must exercise self-understanding until they gain the strength to love themselves. It is only when we accept who we are that we can love others. But true self-love isn’t just experienced at certain moments; it must be unconditional love you have for yourself. If you’ve been in an abusive household or relationship, self-love will seem like a foreign concept. Some helpful tips that are good to practice include asking yourself what you need, allowing yourself to feel your emotions instead of tuning them out, and meditating.
8. Selfless Love (Agape)
Last but not least, we have agape. This is the highest form of love we will ever experience. Agape is what Buddhists referred to as universal kindness. When we exercise selfless love, we are capable of forgiving and seeing the good in others. You can have agape for strangers, religious figures, or nature. In this type of love, you learn to be altruistic and giving, helping those in great need.
Which type of love resonates with you the most? And which kind would you like to experience most before you die? Please share your thoughts with us below.
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This post was previously published on medium.com.
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From The Good Men Project on Medium
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Photo credit: Yuri Levin on Unsplash
