You might not believe me, but most women are incredibly easy to operate. There are only three things to avoid most drama with the woman you treasure.
…
#1. Never disrespect your woman.
If you truly treasure her, never disrespect her in a way that makes her feel bad or look bad — especially in front of other people.
Most of this is simple.
Don’t lie to her. Don’t minimize her significance in your life. Don’t be more attentive with other women than you are with her. Don’t act like a single guy when you are clearly in a relationship with her.
If you want to be in a relationship — BE in a relationship. Make that choice and when you do, respect it and honor it.
It comes down to one simple thing. Avoid doing things that make people question your loyalty to her or what’s happening in your relationship.
This especially applies in the early stages where the relationship is still developing and becoming solid.
Once it does, the couple will likely make specific agreements about how they operate as a couple. They may do things that seem odd to others, but that works for them.
A relationship must be super solid and secure for that to occur.
When it isn’t, you are guaranteed to get major drama.
Women have an innate need to feel safe and secure and when you disrespect her, it can feel like a brutal violation of her basic needs.
This can take some mindfulness. Sometimes women have to guide men on the less obvious things that leave them feeling disrespected. A man may not realize how hurtful a seemingly innocent thing is until a woman expresses her angst.
Receive that with sensitivity, not annoyance.
Sometimes that angst comes from a wounded place, and in that moment, you get to choose whether to be the knife that deepens the wound, or the healer who restores her ability to love and trust fully again.
Being considerate of how your woman might feel is an easy way to avoid disrespecting her.
If you wouldn’t be okay with her doing it to you, it’s safe to assume she won’t like it either.
…
#2. Be attentive — and include her.
Give your woman the time and attention she deserves if you’ve truly chosen her as your person. Be responsive so she knows she is a priority. Show interest in her life and support what she is involved in.
Some men know far more about their truck and their favorite NFL players than they know about their woman.
If you listen more intently to an interview with an NASCAR racer than you do to your girl talking about something she’s excited about or struggling with, you need to check your priorities.
Making sure your woman knows that she matters, is of interest to you, and deserves to be included — and highlighted — in your world is key.
When you are attentive to her and include her in the most important parts of your life, it signals to others that you are a bonded couple — and others will respect that.
If you aren’t being attentive to her, or you are off doing your own thing without her, it sends the message that there’s an open door in that relationship — one that can easily welcome in someone else.
If you aren’t being attentive to your woman, I guarantee there is a man more than willing to do that for her.
And when that happens, she will not need you anymore.
You may have to sacrifice some time with your friends, or with other women (even if they are platonic friendships), but a woman you adore makes it easy for you to choose her and include her in those gatherings.
This doesn’t mean that you don’t have friends or spend any alone time. But it does mean that it is clear to her — and others — that she is a priority in your life.
You plan and dedicate time to focus on your relationship together, and you include her in things you do.
Women want to feel that their man is proud to be with them and isn’t afraid to show that. She should know your friends, even if only casually, especially your female ones.
Women understand that guys need time with their buddies and alone time.
Inclusion is a love language. It’s about how you spend time together and how much she feels integrated in your world.
A woman feels integrated when you are aware of what’s happening in her world and what she is doing and going through.
Add the icing to the cake by recognizing and celebrating her unique gifts and contributions to the world — and especially yours.
…
Operating from a masculine frame
A lot of women’s frustration has to do with feeling that they have to step into the masculine role because their man isn’t owning it himself.
I know that’s rough to hear. But it’s true.
Some women feel tremendous anxiety when they must take on a masculine role they were not designed to do.
Meaning that she feels she must take the lead, be in command, drive things forward, and be the provider and protector — especially for herself.
Being the provider, protector and driver makes me feel displaced as a woman.
A woman completely transforms when she is with a man who provides, protects her, and takes the lead by taking action to drive things forward. It helps the woman feel safe, secure and relaxed.
This doesn’t mean she plays a passive role. And it doesn’t mean he controls anything.
It simply means that instead of asking her to drive, he will take the wheel and they’ll figure out the journey together.
Remember. Whether in a car, a business or on a team, someone has to take the lead and drive.
When a man takes the lead, it allows her to be an active co-creator, where her voice matters and is a critical contribution, but she receives the gift of being able to relax knowing that he has a plan and will take action to drive things forward.
This includes everything from pursing her, initiating contact with her, planning dates, paying the bill, and making sure she gets home safely.
When a man hesitates or doesn’t take command of these things, it puts the woman in a state of uncertainly, which never feels good.
A woman wants to know where she stands with a man. She wants to feel chosen by him, valued, and cared for by him.
This is why we love when a man asks us out, plans a date, and takes care of the bill and lets us know when we will see him or hear from him again.
That scenario puts a woman in her most relaxed state where she can simply relax and focus on being her happy, loving, and nurturing self. But you must create a space for her to do that — and this is how to do that.
A man who operates from his masculine frame allows a woman to be in her natural feminine energy — the one where we feel the most relaxed, loving, and powerful.
Masculine frame is ultimately about honoring your natural roles and responsibilities in life.
When someone isn’t doing their job, someone else has to step up and do it.
When that person is the woman in your life, she will ultimately lose respect and interest. Even worse, she will remain open to a man who is willing, able, and more than happy to make her feel chosen, valued and cared for.
…
While there are many things that can cause drama between a couple, you’ll find that most of them tie back to one of these three things.
I’d love to hear your thoughts. Comment and let’s continue the discussion.
Watch the video: https://www.instagram.com/p/Cy8vH2fxohv/
More Gems here: https://www.instagram.com/_miss_epiphany/
🙋🏻♀️ I would love to hear your thoughts in the comments — chime in!
❤️ There is more to come. Follow me!
📪 Get great stories in your inbox! Subscribe here.
👏 If you enjoyed my story, please clap or share! 🙂
—
This post was previously published on medium.com.
***
From The Good Men Project on Medium
 |
 |
 |
 |
***
Join The Good Men Project as a Premium Member today.
All Premium Members get to view The Good Men Project with NO ADS.
A $50 annual membership gives you an all access pass. You can be a part of every call, group, class and community.
A $25 annual membership gives you access to one class, one Social Interest group and our online communities.
A $12 annual membership gives you access to our Friday calls with the publisher, our online community.
Register New Account
Need more info? A complete list of benefits is here.
—–
Photo credit: Resat Kuleli on Unsplash
