What are the “Black Swan” events that can blow your affair out of the water?
Too many.
These are the unlikely outings. The ones you’d never expect. The “what are the odds?” circumstances.
Chance Encounter:
The adulterer unexpectedly runs into their partner in a public place while with AP (affair partner), leading to an unplanned confrontation and exposure of the affair.
This is a “pray to Jesus” moment, and come up with believable lies fast.
Accidental Discovery:
The spouse accidentally discovers evidence of the affair, such as finding incriminating messages, photos, receipts, or other proof that the adulterer was trying to keep hidden.
You are cooked.
Technological Glitch:
A black swan event could involve a technological mishap, such as mistakenly sending a message meant for the AP to the wrong recipient or accidentally answering a call at the wrong time.
One false keyboard stroke or swipe. You better check everything twice.
Unexpected Witness:
An unforeseen witness, like a mutual friend or acquaintance, inadvertently observes suspicious behavior or encounters the adulterer with the AP, leading to the exposure of the infidelity.
I’ve had this one happen to us, by the way. We (my guy and I) had already asked for a divorce, so it was less egregious. We were at a deserted beach on a winter afternoon, walking my dog, and who happened to pull up in the car next to us? His friend who lived MILES away in another town entirely.
He got a text.
“It’s a nice day at the beach, huh?”
HOLY SHIT.
“Someone saw us,” he panicked.
“It’s okay. You asked for a divorce already. And we are just talking. IT’S NOT LIKE WE ARE FUCKING OUT IN THE OPEN. They have no idea who I am. And I could just be a friend.”
“Yeah…true.”
“It will be fine. People might assume, but they don’t know.”
*His friend, by the way, didn’t say anything to out us.
Social Media Slip-Up:
A black swan event could involve an accidental or unintended post on social media that reveals the adulterer’s activities or connections, leading to discovery by the partner.
The less posted, the better. That’s my motto.
Surveillance or Investigation:
The partner may hire a private investigator or employ some form of surveillance, and an unexpected turn of events during the investigation could lead to the exposure of the affair.
That’s the Mac daddy all of us dread.
Hospitalization or Medical Emergency:
If the adulterer or AP is involved in a sudden medical emergency or serious accident, it could lead to the partner discovering the affair while dealing with the aftermath, such as going through the adulterer’s belongings or finding unexpected messages.
This one worried me irrationally. “What if…”
Legal Issues:
If the adulterer or AP becomes entangled in unexpected legal issues, such as a traffic violation or altercation, it could expose the affair during an investigation or legal proceedings.
Also unlikely but scary.
I worried about the damn Easy Pass Tolls. No way to hide that shit.
“Were you on the highway last week? I saw a bunch of activity on our account,” my hubby would ask.
Make reasonable excuses for everything, or don’t do it.
Natural Disasters:
In regions prone to natural disasters, an unforeseen event like a hurricane, earthquake, or flood could disrupt plans and inadvertently lead to the discovery of the affair.
There are not too many natural disaster probabilities where I live, but something can always happen. Snowstorm, anyone? I’m stuck in my car where I’m NOT supposed to be. No bueno.
Work-related Incident:
An unexpected incident at work, such as a surprise workplace visit by a spouse, could disrupt the adulterer’s ability to maintain the affair discreetly.
“Hey, you weren’t at work when I stopped by…I was bringing you a sandwich. Where were you?”
Whoops.
Family Gathering or Celebration:
A family event or celebration where the adulterer and the affair partner unexpectedly cross paths could lead to exposure of the affair.
This is also highly improbable since you shouldn’t be fucking within your network of family and friends. DO PEOPLE EVER LEARN? Keep the overlapping Venn circles far apart.
Takeaway:
BLACK SWAN events suck. They remind you to be prepared. To play out every scenario in your mind before you step out.
This might make you re-think hot hotel affair sex.
If you have had this, you won’t forget it. And you will take every risk to get it again. I guarantee it. You’ll roll the dice. Ride the storm of bullshit lies you’ll have to tell.
HOT HOTEL SEX IS FIRE.
Cheating isn’t easy. But it’s damn thrilling when you don’t get caught.
AND DON’T GET CAUGHT.
—
Previously Published on Medium
Photo by Kev Kindred on Unsplash
