I don’t think the first kiss is important on the first date. What’s important on the first date is the recap in your mind after you leave them. Let me ask you a few questions. When you go home and you do the post-date recap:
How do you feel?
What are you thinking about?
What did you think about this person and their lifestyle?
What did you think about some of the stories they were sharing?
Were there any warning signs?
Was there anything they said that really made you nervous?
Is there anything you want to do with them the next time you see them?
Can you imagine sharing one of their adventures that they described?
Another step in evaluating the first date occurs when you wake up the next morning. When you wake up:
Did you think about the person?
Are you still excited the next morning that you met that person?
While you’re kind of hanging out and going to work the next day, did you have a smile on your face that you met someone really cool the night before?
There’s a lot of pressure about the first kiss at the end of the first date. The first kiss at the end of the first date also does not necessarily mean that you’re going to end up seeing the person again. It could just be that you felt like you had to kiss them just because it was the end of the date.
I feel kissing at the end of the first date is so predictable. Not kissing a woman at the end of the first date is the opposite . . . it just shows a sense of patience. It’s also really nice to get a hug at the end of the first date, because really you’re both nervous at the end of the first date.
She’s wondering if you are going to kiss her. You’re wondering if you should kiss her. So, why bother?
A lot of times there’s not even a lot of passion in that first date first kiss. It’s a nervous, windshield wiper kiss. Your tongues do a little dance in each other’s mouth. Neither one of your hands are moving anywhere. It’s kind of like your first dance in high school.
So let’s get rid of the misconception about the first date first kiss. What’s more important is the follow-up phone call, or asking them out during the first date for another date. Those are signs of real interest. Real interest is also calling them the next day, seeing what they’re up to, and getting together with them soon so you can keep the momentum going. This will make the first kiss a real first kiss.
So here’s a question for all of you: Do you like to hug, or do you need that first kiss for confirmation at the end of the first date? Do you desire a nervous windshield wiper kiss . . . or a passionate second day after kiss?
Previously published on davidwygant.com and is republished here under permission.
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