Have you ever had a small bit of miscommunication ruin something big for you – such as a relationship, or a business transaction, or a career opportunity?
Like it or not, communication skills are of paramount importance in a man’s life. And that’s a hassle for most of us, because as men, we’re geared towards productivity. We’re less talk, more action. We think that the feelings and opinions of others are of secondary importance next to the results we want to get in life.
This go-getter attitude has certainly served the human race well as a whole… but on an individual level, it tends to result in a lot of missed opportunities and strained relationships. And that’s not good for your personal goals and happiness.
The good news? Learning good communication doesn’t have to be a hassle. In fact, by simply following a few general “core rules,” you’ll avoid most of the tension and conflict that arises from bad communication, and instead start getting more of what you want out of life – better relationships, more profitable businesses, a more satisfying career, less stress, and more.
If that sounds good to you, then pay close heed the four communication core rules to follow:
Core Rule #1: Let People Finish.
When people talk to you, let them finish what they’re saying before you take your turn. Resist the urge to interrupt when you have something to say – and if it’s something that really can’t wait, raise your hand slightly, like you used to in class, to signify that you’d like to point something out. It’s a professional, respectful way to interject.
Core Rule #2: Don’t Solve Problems Unless Asked To.
Sometimes people just want to vent and tell you about their problems. It’s not a solution they’re looking for – it’s a friendly listening ear. So be one. If you really MUST give an opinion or suggestion, ask first: “Mind if I make a suggestion?”
Core Rule #3: Say “I,” Not “You.”
When you’re expressing a grievance towards another person (or trying to give constructive criticism), make it about you. Don’t make it about them, because you run the high risk of offending or alienating them… which in turn makes your desired outcome LESS likely to happen.
Core Rule #4: Don’t Take Anything Personally.
When others criticize you or express their grievances, don’t take it personally. Instead, take a deep breath, fix the problem, and then re-focus your time and energy towards your goals.
For that matter, even if the criticism IS personal, don’t take it personally – nothing good will come out of it. You’ll get more out of life working towards your goals than trying to protect your reputation.
What Being a Good Communicator Will Do to You
The four core rules of communication you just learned are all geared towards one end: Making people much more likely to say “yes” to you, whether you need something from them or offering something to them. The simple rule is this: If you ask nicely, and if you explain clearly where you’re coming from, people will gladly do you a favor.
Multiply this with ALL your conversations you have with people in your life, and you’ll put yourself in a position to get more of what you want… for the same amount of stress, or even less.
So which of the four core rules are you guilty of breaking regularly? Find out what adjustments you need to make, and start putting them into practice right now. You’ll be surprised – and very pleased – to see how smoothly your interactions with others soon become.
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