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Unity with Ability is a team of dedicated support workers
Autistic kids can spend just as much time around other children at school and still have far fewer friendships. It’s hard to see, if you’re the parent. Aussie care team, Unity with Ability, tell us.
“We’ve learned so much more about neurodivergence which has helped social norms to start turning a corner,” says Hiba Srour, Managing Director at Unit With Ability.
“We can empathise instead of judge, when we see a meltdown we recognise the challenge for what it is. Our kids may show more empathy towards neurodivergent kids now than they did a decade or two ago. It’s not perfect. Kids still get bullied, but it’s better.”
It’s hard. It’s hard for the parents to see and hard for the kid to feel. It’s just plain hard.
Even though things are better, parents of neurodivergent kids will still tell you that they dread planning a birthday party because if they’re lucky, they can count the RSVPs on one hand, even though 30 invitations went out. The neurodivergent child still sits alone on the playground. No one’s bullying him, but he’s still alone. School friendships matter for the development of an adult’s social life, even though most individual school friendships don’t last forever, so this is not just about a phase in life.
Among autistic adolescents, 43% never got together with friends outside school or organised activities, 54% never received calls from friends, and 50% weren’t invited to social activities by friends in one large US longitudinal dataset. For those who don’t attend mainstream schools, socialising is even harder.
Hiba explains; “This is part of the value of activities planned by NDIS support workers. For people who have fewer friendships through school, or didn’t attend mainstream schooling, regular activities provide another place to meet people, particularly when activities are based around common interests and involve the same people coming together regularly.”
Regular outings are therapeutic and can have long term benefits
Humans are highly social by nature, we need to be around others. This is challenging when you’re not neurotypical and able to relate to the people around you, but it doesn’t make it less important. Socialising is like a muscle that needs to be developed. It might look messy at first, but it’s worth continuing even when it feels hard. This is where care providers make a big impact.
Long-term research found autistic teenagers who regularly socialise find it easier to take on a greater number of everyday living skills and social communication over time. A day out to the park might not look important, but it is.
“Community activities can provide some of that regular contact. Group activities, sport, hobbies, classes and social outings bring people together outside their family and paid support network. Shared interests can also make social interaction easier for some autistic people, with smaller groups and activities based around their interests often being more comfortable than socialising for the sake of socialising,” Hiba explains.
She also adds that “Community participation is usually talked about in terms of getting out, trying something new or building independence. For neurodivergent people who have struggled with friendship since childhood, it can also increase the number of people they have an opportunity to know.”
Support workers can’t create friendships for someone. They can provide regular opportunities for people to meet, spend time together and form relationships themselves. For someone whose social circle has otherwise been limited to family, school and paid supports, those opportunities can become an important part of building a social life outside of disability services.
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